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Countdown to ROM in Singapore!

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More pre-wedding photos!

Vignettes from our engagement photo session!

My Guo Da Li!

Everything was almost perfect. Almost. Other than the fact that the groom got barred from flying here due to a passport with less than 6 months validity. 

In retrospect, I’m quite relieved that it happened when it did, actually. If it hadn’t this trip, we would never have suspected he might’ve been barred from flying due to the passport issue. Can you imagine if this had happened just prior to him flying to KK for our wedding???!! 

Just for kicks, Mom & I discussed this hypothetical scenario. We both took a minute to imagine the logistics horror, dozens of overseas guests flying in for the wedding, etc. And Mom concluded that the show must go on, and if that little scenario were to happen for real, I’ll just have to say my vows to a giant portrait of Mr. Panda! *LOL*

Thankfully that won’t be the case now, since Mr. Panda will be renewing his passport pronto by Monday! Crisis averted!

The day started with food-tasting at the Shangri-La…the set-up, flowers & menu are all the exact one-table replica of what the banquet set-up will look like on that day. And I was very pleased to see the results:

I think my only comment about the set-up was for the flowers to be more amped up. They look a bit sparse as is, but even then, still quite clean & elegant.

My elegant almost 60 year old Mom-zilla studying the menu. Not a trace of makeup on her & no surgical enhancements! Good genes! She stole my favourite pearl & gold dangling earrings by Andria W.

Liz K, my lovely friend who’ll be floor manager at the ceremony, making a funny face!

The little menu card. Simple & elegant works for me!

What the inside of the menu says!

Basket of goodies from ‘Loving You’ at City Mall. They pack everything you need in the most gorgeous old-fashioned Chinese basket. Oranges with ‘Double Happiness stickers, the long red cloth for both the groom’s door & the bride’s door, ‘xi tang’ (Double Happiness sweets) and all kinds of quaint stuff! Worth every cent.

The guodali stuff on the formal dining table. We have the double happiness ‘tong yuan’ bowl & spoon set for eating glutinous balls. Tea set. Peng Kam (bride price or dowry given by groom’s family, or in our case, the groom). Gold jewellery gift set given by the groom. Guo da li basket containing all the necessary including ‘double happiness sweets’ (‘xi bing’ or ‘xi tang’), red cloth for the bride & groom’s front doors respectively, oranges stuck with ‘double happiness’ stickers, etc. All packed by the wonderful people at ‘Loving You’ a shop in City Mall, Kota Kinabalu.

Diamond & rose gold set. Pictures don’t show them to their best, but I love them to bits. Well, I should because Mr. Panda may have paid for them, but I picked them! Good set for evening wear.

Here’s another look!

I just HAVE to point out how adorable the sweets are! Check out the detail!

All in all I had a blast with the relatives during my guo da li. Mr. Panda was completely bemused of course. (“I can’t believe you did this without me! How??!”) *shrugs* Bridezillas are practical creatures. We like to do things our way, but if we can’t then we roll with the situation & make do. Poor Mr. Panda missed out this time, but I’m sure he’ll survive. (Guy spent the entire long weekend playing computer games, eating junkfood & hanging out with the dog. I’m sure he didn’t mourn for too long.)

A surprising boon for the guo da li! The peng kam was presented to Mom. And I told her she didn’t have to return anything it was for her. But then she gave me half of the money. Then she disappeared and gave me an additional angpow, just for me, to cover my expenses. Isn’t that just so generous & sweet of her? Not customary, this one. Just pure love. So when I say I’m a lucky Princess Panda, I so am, in more ways than one. I may not have a lot of money, but I surely am rich in love.

More posts later!

Christmas Panda-monium! :-D

It’s Christmas in the Panda household!

On Christmas Eve, Mr. Panda & I went to Changi Airport full of good cheer & excitement, absolutely loaded with presents. I was also carrying the gold and cash for the guodali ceremony which was to take place on Christmas Day. Mr. Panda, in particular, was rhapsodizing over the turkey & roasted ham and all the other yummies we would be having later that night. So there we were, acting like a couple of oversized gleeful pirates toting loot, giggling at the silly reindeer headbands that all the AirAsia staff had to wear that day, and feeling really smug in our superior loved-up skin!

And then the axe fell.

“I’m sorry sir, but there’s only 5 months and 4 days left on your passport. We can’t let you on board the plane.”

WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!

After the initial shock, this Princess Panda applied all of her considerable powers of persuasion on the staff, officers, airport personnel, security guard, toilet cleaner and potted plant she could spot within a 20-foot radius. All were resolute in their stand. Dazed, but resolute. Mr. Panda would not be having turkey that night.

I was working myself up to a major tantrum, thinking off all the preparation that went into the guodali the next day. Would I be the only bride in modern history to have a betrothal without the groom present? And for crying out loud, it’s Christmas Eve! Mixed in with all those rollickin’ emotions was a significant amount of frustration towards Mr. Panda, who apparently had never heard of the 6 month passport validity rule. *roll eyes* Hunger must’ve starved his brain.

So there I was, tears of frustration & sadness rolling down my eyes, with Mr. Panda rubbing my back making low, unidentifiable comforting noises. We moved some of the presents from his suitcase into mine, turning my elegant streamlined Samsonite into a bloated whale, with shiny fish-guts. I was wailing about how we’ll have to burn his return ticket which cost a bomb (because Christmas is mucho peak period with the tickets being extra-expensive. Them reindeer are the real pirates if ye ask me!) 

And then my dear fiance whipped up a little package from his backpack all wrapped up in plastic bags. “Here darling, this is your present. I was going to surprise you during present-time in KK, but I guess you can have it now.”  I was taken aback. He had already declared way in advance that this year there’d be no presents because of the wedding. Money is tight, and he’ll get me a birthday present in lieu of a Christmas pressie (since my birthday is just one week after Christmas). Well, the multiple plastic bags just tell me he’s not much for presentation (or for the environment!) but my gosh, what a sweetie! Said I wasn’t to open it till I got home, but that it’s something I would like. Something for my nose. ?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? The plot thickens.

Well I stopped crying at that point, as you’d expect of any self-respecting woman. And as my mood improved, so did my resourcefulness. I called AirAsia & told them that since they retimed my flight from 9.35pm to 5.25pm it’s more than 4 hours’ difference and according to the flight contract we’d be entitled to a refund provided it happens before the flight. To make a long story short, we ended up with a SGD250 credit note…a mere half hour before take-off! So all’s well that end’s well. Except poor Mr. Panda had to spend Christmas with the dog instead of the turkey.

Well I made it home in time for cold leftovers and present-time!

But guess what was underneath all those ugly layers of plastic bags?

For my NOSE?? Sneaky Mr. Panda! Tried a little misdirection on me, eh.

Well I tore the ribbon off that distinctive blue & white box every girl dreams of receiving and guess what I found?!

It’s my bonus wedding band!! The Tiffany & Co yellow gold Bezet ring!! The one I raved about! Mr. Panda got it for me since I wanted another plain gold wedding ring to match Mr. Panda’s wedding band.

See, I already have a wedding band custom-made by Fairy’s Inc. It’s all bling bling & curved to match my engagement ring. But it looks nothing like Mr. Panda’s ring, and it’s not very practical for everyday use, especially if you have to clean or gym everyday (neither of which I do. Now anyway. But you never know, right?) So I’ve been hankering for a plain gold alternative wedding band.

I chalked it up to fancy & decided to stow the idea away until we have more money.

But my darling Mr. Panda snuck out to Tiffany & bought the ring for me anyway, so that we could have matching rings at our ROM. He must have counted his pennies pretty carefully to get this, considering our massive financial commitments of late. Guy is such a baby angel.

As you might imagine, the rest of Christmas was a happy blur for me after that.

Grandma-zilla! 80 over years old, with skin like a fresh dewy rose petal! Does youth & beauty run in the family or what? *strut*

Mom opening her presents! Almost 60 & still has skin like a fresh dewy rose petal too! Haiizzz.

My home’s as gaily decorated as a mall in the North Pole!

Present from Mom. Always wanted a romantic baroque frame with gorgeous porcelain roses & gilt borders. LOVE! Mom says I should put my picture on one side & Mr. Panda’s picture on the other side and a picture of the two of us in the middle.

When I’m 85, I want to be as elegantly preserved as grandma! Not a single bit of cosmetic or surgical enhancement here, believe it or not!

Will write more on the actual groomless guodali later. It was a strange but pleasant little experience!

Merry Christmas one & all! Remember the best gift you can give someone is your heart. HUGS!

xx

Bridezilla aka Princess Panda

Peng Kam / Pin Jin / Ping Kam Daze…

So I’m packing to go back for Christmas with Mr. Panda because that’s when we’ll have our Guodali ceremony. Mr. Panda had to amble reluctantly over to the bank yesterday to draw out what would make up the ‘pengkam’ or bride price for the guodali. En route I gave a briefing about what he has to do & say based on my severely limited knowledge. Basically the spiel involved a lot of compliments, ‘thank-yous’, ego-massaging & smoothing of my octogenarian grandma’s spry feathers. If only the role called for kungfu fighting.

Mr. Panda showing his moves.

Unfortunately, only cash would do in this situation.

So basically we put together a collection of brand-new dollar notes hot off the press, in denominations ending with the number ‘9′, which is particularly auspicious for weddings because it sounds like ‘a long time’ or ‘infinity.’ So for example, if you’ve got cash to burn, you’d put SGD9,999,999.99 in the special red ‘pengkam’ packet called ‘pin jin dai’ in Mandarin (pengkam pocket). If you’re on the other end of the scale you could put SGD 999.99 (which is basically a thousand smackeroos) or SGD9,999.99 which would be roughly SGD10k, or even SGD2,999.99 which is SGD3k less 1 cent. Basically any amount you & your bride’s family are comfortable with giving, as long as it ends with a ‘9′ at the back or in some cases ‘8′ (which sounds like ‘prosperity’ in Chinese.) Mr. Panda once made the mistake of asking me whether it meant he can technically give SGD9.99 for me. I told him that he can get himself a bride that commensurates with that amount; probably someone like this:

He never asked that question again.

Anyway, back to the ‘peng kam’ (in Cantonese) or ‘pin jin’ (in Mandarin).

Here’s a shot of what our ‘pin jin dai’ looks like. It’s a large red pocket made of satin with auspicious characters in front, and in the satin pocket you’ll find a standard red packet made of paper.

Here’s the front:

And this is the back:

And here it is with the inside packet laid out next to it:

I have a really nice shot of the newly minted cash all spread out in a fan next to this ‘pin jin dai’ but thought it would be too crass to publish it, so you’ll just have to use your imagination!

The rest of the guodali goodies I’ll have to get from Sabah. Oranges with the double happiness stickers on them, wine (duty-free at Changi!), and gold jewelry (I brought it back to Sabah the last trip so I’ll just have to take them out of the vault & arrange them nicely), traditional sweets & complete guodali basket (all of which will be prepared by “Loving You” a store specializing in Chinese wedding stuff in City Mall, Kota Kinabalu.) Will take photos of the basket & blog about it when I come back from this trip!

Looks like we’re a heck of a lot poorer but all prepared now for the ceremony! Stay tuned.

Gorgeous wedding cinematography: What’s your style?

Manic Monday, and a short manic post to go with it!

Seriously malas these days, what with Christmas literally around the corner, the guodali cakes not sourced yet, and Mr. Panda & I both so BROKE, BROKE, BROKE!!!!!!!

Can I just say this; you should always leave a very comfortable buffer in your budget because weddings have a habit of getting out of hand. In the beginning we kept telling ourselves, ‘Oh it’s once in a lifetime!’ and then went for something we could barely afford. If you’re an intrepid ickle bridezilla, and you’re not careful, you’ll end up being so stressed you forget to enjoy the planning process or allow tension to creep into your relationship. The smartest couples go simple but skate through with minimal stress & maximum enjoyment of the whole event. Wish I’d done that now.

Still, with all the 50% deposits dumped in, the show must go on! And realistically, can Bridezilla live with a no-frills wedding? I’ll just have to put my chin down & manage. Still, the tap is shut tight now, & the only thing we’ll be paying for is what we contracted earlier, nothing extra.

I’d say aside from the banquet, the most expensive items are the photography & videography. In fact, the two combined actually cost almost the same as my entire 500 pax dinner reception in the Shangri-La! So you can imagine how INSANE I must have been to commit to such a crazy price tag! And if I’m perfectly honest, I’m not sure if I’d have made the same decision if I could do it over.

Still, as my bridesmaid Babyduck consoled me, ‘You got the best photographer in Malaysia’ so I suppose that’s the price I had to pay. 

Now the videography is something else; I absolutely fell in love with Yang’s style (from Substance Films) from the moment I saw his videos. In fact, I’d call his work ‘wedding cinematography’ instead of videography. It’s the artistry & dreamy nature of it all, like being caught in a movie. And which bride wouldn’t want to star in her own movie once in her lifetime?

I searched a long time for a cinematographer who could produce the exact ‘look’ I was after…dreamy, nostalgic, romantic, vintage overtones. I knew Yang was the guy the moment I saw his work! So with a sinking heart, I sprung major dough to ship him to Sabah for the main event! But check out this video montage he did for this ADORABLE couple so you’ll know how flawless & expensive Bridezilla’s taste is.

And here’s another one I found by Yang; the bride is absolutely stunning here! 

When we decided to have the ROM in Singapore I tried to get Yang also but he wasn’t available that day. No matter, I found Vocare Media to be very professional with some really sweet videos also. They’ll be giving us the express highlights the day after the ROM so that we can bring it back with us to Malaysia & play it during the banquet.

And on top of everything, Bridezilla’s mom, (henceforth she shall be known as ‘Momzilla’) hired another videographer to take everything from start to finish, Chinese-style, in case anybody misses anything. I sincerely hope that the urban legend is wrong, and that the camera does NOT put on 10 pounds on everybody because I’m guessing every expression, angle, wrinkle, fold, & wobble will be caught on film for posterity.

Watch this space. When the time comes, I’ll upload our videos so you can feast your eyes on total Panda-monium!

Cheers!

Conversation Overheard II

Not a continuation of ‘Conversation Overheard’.

Location: Taxi Stand at Plaza Singapura. A skinny girl walks by wearing hotpants that were so short & tight her butt-cheeks were literally exposed. As in the half-moons of her bottom cheeks were winking at us as she sashayed on the arm of her Ah Beng boyfriend.

Me:  [Outraged gasp] Did you SEE that??? Oh my gosh! I’ve got knickers that’re more modest than that! Can you wear that kinda thing in Singapore without getting arrested?? Owww! My EYES! Going blind!

Mr. Panda:  [Eyeballs the winking half-moons.] Hmmm.

Me: Do you find her hot?

Mr. Panda: No.

Me: [Not happy with his short & underwhelming response.] What if I were to insist on wearing something like that out? What would you do? [*Yeah, my cellulite really needs that kinda exposure! Miss Piggy in hot-pants will really sear your eyeballs to Kingdom Come.]

Mr. Panda:  I wouldn’t go out in public with you dressed like that.

Me: What if our daughter were to dress up like that & say to you ”Bubbye Daddy, I’m off to the cinema now! Bubbye!”?

Mr. Panda: Then I’ll say “Okie doke! Bubbye car! Bubbye allowance! Bubbye nice clothes, phone, credit card! Helloooo school of hard knocks.”

Me: What if our son were to bring back a girl dressed like that & tells us…”Mom & Dad, I’m going to marry her??!”

Mr. Panda: Then I’ll just point & say, ‘Son, the bedroom is that way. Call me when you’re finished.’

Me: [Laughs my head off.]

Mr. Panda: [ Laughs at me laughing at him.]

Girl with the half-moons: [Not laughing at all.]

How to get your tiny ring-bearer to march down the aisle…

…The answer lies in TREATS!!

Bear in mind that the theory hasn’t been tested yet, but JM contacted me last night with the results of the negotiations with her two & a half year old. So far, so good, but I’m afraid to say, she got suckered into a loser deal.

The plan now is for the Best Man to wait at the altar holding onto a brand-new 10-inch Lightning McQueen! (I had to google it to find out it was this red car.)

And little J will march solemnly with the ring-pillow (which he scornfully calls a “Basket!”), eyes on the prize. And closer to the goal, the Best Man will wave Lightning McQueen enticingly at him, which would (theoretically!) encourage him to take the last few steps there, give Gerald a high-five, and then swap the merchandise. So the Best Man rescues the ring-pillow, J gets a brand-new toy car, & everyone’s happy. Crisis averted.

Meanwhile, I reckon the pictures will look really cute, with the Best Man in his suit holding onto a red toy car. Haha! The only problem now is how to prevent J from SPRINTING down the aisle, knocking down his older sister (the flowergirl) in the process.

The answer lies in Abby! My little niece who’s also two & a half & a really pretty girl! She’s the other flowergirl. Since J is showing signs of being a toddler heartthrob Lothario on an epic scale, the mother’s hoping he’ll EITHER set his eyes on the car OR the girl!

Cars & girls. Hard-wired into their DNA. Sigh.

You know what? He could throw a tanty & chuck the nest on the floor for all I care. Kids are unpredictable, and therein lies their charm. You might as well try to control the weather. Surprisingly, even to me, the child factor has never been a source of anxiety for me. Who needs a perfectly choreographed wedding with no quirks to add to the interest? It’ll be a story to tell the grandkids (or teenage Lothario, when he grows up!), about how he tipped the pillow upside down/pulled off the flowergirls bow/sprinted down the aisle for his Lightning McQueen. In fact, I almost hope the kids do something unexpected just to shake things up a little in an otherwise solemn affair! (I must have a back-up plan though, if he DOES chuck the pillow on the floor!) The kids’ Mom is a God-sent; prepping them beforehand, discovering their needs & desires & then cunningly working a toy into the bargain, planning on making them sleep early, no more than one rehearsal (more would cause fatigue & they’ll start acting up), no sugars or sweets throughout the trip to minimise any possibility of a sugar frenzy (poor tykes!), & generally brain-washing her already lovely & well-behaved kids.  

Will keep y’all posted on whether this strategy is successful!

Six Weeks to D-DAY!!

Ooooooh…am a sick Princess Panda today!

Sore throat, sniffles & sneezles, joint pain & stuffy head, the works.

BUT!

There’s no dampening my spirits here. Six weeks to becoming a Mrs! (Actually, five if you want to be technical, since my ROM is in exactly 5 weeks). I feel like I should be doing something profound & zen at this point, reflecting on my past, designing my future with Bridezillian precision, etc. but I’m too excited for that crap! Am doing the happy dance every other day now.

Seriously, Mr. Panda is everything I want in a husband, and that little bit extra too. He’s just a bit…supersized. But that can be a brilliant thing too, because during the coming Apocalypse, one big toe of his could sustain an entire village of starving children. He’s always joking that our Yeti will be his emergency meal (she probably thinks the same of him, it’s just that her English ain’t that good) but little does he know that he is MY emergency meal! *evil chuckle*

But enough about eating…six weeks to go and I’m no where NEAR touching my weight-loss goals, and the heck of it is I don’t really care. I feel radiant enough to light up an entire city, so happy am I. Come D-Day, I will be the loveliest woman in the room, just because I feel lovely, loving & dearly loved. And this is what being with the right person will do to you; sparks will shoot out of your fingertips, your feet will feel like they are shod in puffy clouds, your eyeballs get replaced with twinkling little hearts, and the back of your molars can be seen at least 12 hours a day because you are smiling so hard.  

And aha! Six weeks to D-Day & five weeks to ROM also means it’s just over a week to my ‘Guo Da Li’! All preparations are in order including the set of diamond & rose gold jewellery Mr. Panda got for me. Actually, he just gave me the money, I picked everything out myself, and this was done about four months back during a sale & at a time when the gold price was quite low. So I’m pretty chuffed about it. The only thing left undone is the ‘Xi Bing’ (‘Double Happiness Cakes’) or wedding announcement cakes the guy’s family is supposed to bring to the girl’s family in order for them to send it around to their relatives as a wedding announcement (“Oiii!! My daughter found a buyer!! Here, have a swiss roll!!”) Some people just stick a red ‘Double Happiness sticker’ on a plain marble cake & that’ll do.

The problem is, my Mom requested 20 to 30 boxes. *gulp* Mr. Panda is a blur buffalo about these things & his parents live in New Zealand, AND they’re quite westernised too. Which leaves this Bridezilla to handle all them cakes that noone will eat anyway because everyone’s on a diet so they look good on D-Day. Now I don’t mind getting the cakes, but HOW do I bring 20-30 boxes of ‘Xi Bing’ on an airplane??!

We arrive Sabah Christmas Eve. The ‘Guo Da Li’ is on Christmas Day. Between our arrival & the big day, there’s no time to source the cakes locally. And gosh, getting them on board an airplane & hand-carrying them would be an impossible feat!

If we didn’t have to contend with air-travel, I’d for sure have gone for the special cakes from Sweetest Moments. They are SOOOOOO cute! They come in personalized ‘Double Happiness’ or the more modern type of boxes, and you get to have your picture on a personalised wedding announcement card as well!

Check these out:

Aren’t they darling? And for about SGD8.90 per box only too!

Alas, for this Bridezilla, I’ll just have to think about getting the pound or round cakes locally in Sabah, and then tying them with a roll of ‘Double Happiness’ ribbon like in the picture below, and stick a ‘double happiness’ sticker on top of the box or something.

Necessity, they say, is the mother of invention.

Going to have a lie-down now. *ahchoo* Be posting more later. Ciao!

Cutest kitty ever!!!

Mr. Panda & I were watching this video & it totally made our day!

*LOL!!*

Love kitties. And doggies. And pandas of course.

Funny Mr. Panda

It’s about five weeks to our ROM date, & Mr. Panda is expanding rather than losing the extra love handles. Sigh. I still find him adorable though. Which means I must have it really bad. 

To his credit, he suggested a swim date today! After about two laps, I paddle over to him & he rolls his eyes at me: “I feel like an aircraft carrier powered by galley slaves.”

That just about killed me, it was so funny.

Well, about five laps later, apparently half the galley slaves died, so we had to call it a day.

It’s a lovely bonus if the man you love happens to have a self-deprecating kinda humor & still makes you laugh. Life is looking rosy with my funny Mr. Panda.

The Ang Pow List: What Every Chinese Bride (Groom) Should Budget For

Aha! I know some of you have been waiting for this coveted list which should be in the planner of every Asian bridezilla! Truthfully without this list, you wouldn’t be able to get an accurate figure for your total REQUIRED output in the “Expenses” section of your budget list!

As y’all may know, you can’t run away from giving ang pow (or ‘hong bao’, ‘lai see’, ‘ang bao’, ‘red packet’, depending on your dialect group) during a Chinese wedding, regardless of whether you’re a guest, close relative or the newly-wedded couple! Unless of course, you’re underaged or a paid vendor/service provider. This is a practical requirement since it’ll help with the cash deficit situation the young couple would sure to be in (there is another reason why we love to wear red at a Chinese wedding besides the usual auspicious reasons…because by then we’re usually literally in the red, cash-wise ) Now you may ask why the wedded couple have to give angpows also; it’s to signify their new status as ‘adults’, and that’s why we only give to helpers and close relatives who are younger in age than we are. And if we’re lucky, it’ll all balance out!

I’ve done extensive research (internet, books, articles) and conducted various interviews (with elderly relatives, wedding consultants, former brides & their mothers, etc.) and applied my own inimitable Bridezilla observational skills in this matter, so I feel quite qualified to come up with this list to help all of you bridezillas out there, who’re as clueless as I once was! Now this list may not be exhaustive, in which case please feel free to add/amend/modify as necessary. It may not be accurate for your particular circumstances also, since there may be slight differences depending on dialect group and how faithfully you want to adhere to the customs. It also does not include the cash output required for the ‘Guo Da Li’ segment of a Chinese wedding, which you’ll have to check out in another post. Strictly actual day angpow only.

So with all the disclaimers done, and without further ado, let me now present….

The Ang Pow List for the Chinese Wedding Couple

 

 

You will need to give angpow to:

(1)   The Celebrant

(2)  The Master of Ceremonies

(3)  Helpers at the Reception / Sign in Table x 2 (or however many helpers you have)

(4)   Younger siblings 

(5)  Younger extended relatives like cousins, nephews & nieces

(6)   Tea-lady who’s helping with the tea ceremony (both groom’s side & bride’s side which means TWO angpows!)

(7)   Assistant tea-lady, usually a young girl helping the tea-lady to wash the cups & replace them during the tea-ceremony

(8)   Assistant helping the bride to put on her jewellery that was given during tea ceremony. If she’s a bridesmaid you may choose to give it in one lump sum later on.

(9)   Bridesmaids

(10)   ‘Jie-Meis’ or ’sisters’ who usually congregate in the bride’s house during the siege. They are not bridesmaids.

(11)   Umbrella-woman; she holds the red umbrella over your head on your wedding day

(12)  Young boy who opens the car-door; usually the youngest male relative of the bride

(13)  The ‘Ah Yees’ (‘Aunties’) & ushers who are usually people helping out at reception

(14)  Choir or music ministry people helping out in the worship team if it’s a Christian wedding

 (15) Flowergirls & ring-bearer

 (16)  Pastor, if it’s a Christian wedding

 (17)  Haircombing woman; she’s a lucky lady chosen to comb the bride’s hair before ’shang tou’.

(18)  Groomsmen & best man

(19) ‘Heng Dai’ or ‘brothers’; the contingent of sweaty males accompanying the groom to the bride’s house

(20)   The ‘An Chuang’ lady who sets the marital bed for you

(21)   The little boy who jumps on the bed

(22)  At least 20 angpows with at least SGD10 or SGD20 in each one for the miscellaneous needs you may have overlooked. NEVER be caught short! These are what I’d call ‘the Emergency Angpow Stash’!

(23)  ‘Milk Money’ or ‘Nappy Money’; this is a small angpow to be given to the parents of the bride on the morning the groom picks her up, and it’s completely separate from the ‘peng kam’ (dowry or bride price) cash given during the ‘Guo Da Li’. It’s kind of a courtesy thing; that the groom leaves something behind on the morning he picks up his bride.

I think that covers just about everything! Helpful, much?

*clicks heels & flies away home*

Signing the Marriage Certificate: What kind of medieval writing instrument will YOU be using?

Seriously I can’t understand the craze for feather quills. Why do people insist on using such highly contrived devices to sign their marriage certificates when the roller-ball has already been invented? *bewildered*

Perfectly sensible men & women turn into fantasy Robin Hood & Maid Marian the second they need to sign the freakin’ marriage certificate & out comes the dramatically bushy feather quill. Is it the romance in the sweep of the dead chicken’s tail? Is it the “unique” element it supposedly creates in the portrait session? (HARDLY unique anymore!)

If people are aiming for the vintage look, they overshot the mark there. “Vintage” is a beautifully crafted art deco fountain pen with an exquisitely carved golden or silver nib dipped into a vintage crystal pot of ink. It is NOT plucking the backside of unassuming fowl in order to recreate a medieval writing instrument from the Dark Ages.

How many chickens have to run around naked just so that people can have a fancy feathered signing pen for that ONE time?! And make no mistake about it, it’ll be just that ONE time because I don’t see anyone using that in the hallowed corridors of Corporatia. Granted, (as one of the groomsmen, Errol pointed out) most of the original owners of said feathers aren’t running anymore, given the number of chicken rice stalls in Singapore. Naked, but definitely not running. That is not the point! Where’s the thrill in pretending to be from another era only during the signing process, unless your entire theme is medieval/renaissance/Robin Hood/Robinson Crusoe? 

And you grooms! Shame on you! If you wouldn’t normally wear a skort with pom-poms dangling from the hem, why would you even consider using a writing instrument with a bushy pink feather attached to the end of it??

Now, no offence to those of you who prefer to sign the most important contract of your life (apart from a prenup) with a feather quill. Hey, it’s a free world out there. But just consider how you’d feel about your wedding pictures when you’re sixty; feather quill and Precious Moments bears & Hello Kitties everywhere (the subject of another rant to come; what is WITH soft toys & weddings??!! Like the coming together of two teens at a county fair or something!)…if you think “Oh, adorable!” then by all means proceed because you belong to that segment of the population whose minds will never age beyond 16. But if you’re like me, you’d be wishing you invested more on the flowers and perhaps better gifts for your attendants and parents.

So in response to this peculiar trend of signing one’s marriage certificate with a quill, I’ve compiled a list of other instruments &/or methods you might use to get that “unique” factor without disturbing anybody’s backside feathers:

1. Gnaw on your thumb till you see some blood & then print it on the signing line. Stunningly simple, definitely heartfelt, and goes back further in time than the feather quill.

2. Sign your name with a piece of charcoal taken out of the embers of burnt love letters from past admirers. Meaningful, check. Romance, check. Unique, for sure, check.

3. Slick on blood-red lipstick on your lips (BOTH of you) and seal the cert with a kiss. A bit sick, but definitely original. Recommended only for people with decent-shape lips.

4. Sign your names with invisible ink…the signature will be visible only after you hold the paper over a lit candle for a while. Yup. I imagine many would want to do that with their marriage certificate. Especially after the 5th year of marriage.

5. Here’s a novel idea. How about an elegant Montblanc fountain pen which you can engrave with a special message and use long after the wedding? Too rich for your taste (or pocket), then how about a Waterman, a Parker, a Sheaffer or even a Campo Marzio? (Italian brand with really cute funky designs. I like!)

No prizes for guessing which option I’d be choosing.

So which are you going for?

This:

Or this:

What should Mr. Panda wear for the wedding??

Been a lazy Bridezilla (an oxymoron, if ever there was one) of late. Since I’m very good with lists, here’s one with all the things I HAVEN’T done in the last two weeks:

1. Blogged at my usual rate. (My Bridesman will tell you I sometimes can do five posts a day, when I’m really manic. Alas, I’ve been slacker-zilla lately. And not because I’ve been distracted by the ‘New Moon’ craze either.)

2. Exercised! (Dang it. A combination of Tanty being out of commission for a while & me being BONE LAZY. And now my little paunch has taken on a life of its own. It’s the paunch that ate Singapore. I disgust myself. )

3. Dieted. (Note to self: One can only use the “I’m eating for two” excuse if one is actually pregnant. Sometimes I shock even me. But what the heck, the paunch backs up my story.)

4. Stuck to my budget. Like the U.S Treasury, I am now in deficit, only without the handy option of printing more money to make up the shortfall.

5. Stuck to my facial/wax/hair treatment beauty plan. (Hey, this kind of feminine maintenance is costly & time-consuming, ok! I can literally feel my IQ dropping & my blood pressure rising with sheer impatience, just because I have to lie there like a slab of meat for 2 and a half hours, completely immobilized & listening to the same New Age track over & over again! Ever heard of spa-rage?? How do socialites & It-girls do this day in & day out??)

One thing I have done though, was to prod gently lead Mr. Panda into making a decision about his attire. Or at least to a manageable shortlist. Before this, I’ve pondered, mused, debated & blogged on the appropriate attire for the groom, but came no closer to a solution. Until now.

Here’s a list of our design dilemmas & eventual solutions:

1. Mr. Panda can’t wear a bowtie because his neck is too big, and he would look like he was being strangled with a cute little bow. Not sexy. So we decided on a sleek necktie instead. Bang for the buck too; you can always wear a nice tie to another funtion. And the length of it draws the eye vertically which naturally slenderises a silhouette.

2. Mr. Panda can’t wear a tux in the morning because it’s a MORNING wedding, and even though 99% of the population here ignore that  golden rule for menswear, this Bridezilla isn’t going to be one of them. Most men can’t help it, because most grooms either (a) don’t know the golden rule; or (b) have no choice because they have to rent their gear from the bridal shop & they mostly rent tuxes. Mr. Panda doesn’t have that rental option unfortunately because he can’t fit into anything here! Solution: Made-to-measure. A bit pricier than renting, but will fit better & a good investment for any man. Besides, it’s not like he has a choice at this point.

3. Mr. Panda would like to be able to reuse his snazzy wedding attire instead of letting it be a ‘one-time only’ outfit. He’ll have to get it made-to-measure, and even though I do believe that every man should own his own tux, practically speaking he probably wouldn’t even get ten wears out of his tux. Now an exquisitely cut dark suit however, he can get more use out of. And it would circumvent the whole “no tux before 6pm” rule. An easy day to night transformation. And with a regular (but beautifully cut) suit, it would be more flattering on his body-type, without the need for a cummerbund (having one around his Panda-gut would be like trying to hold back the Titanic with a bra-strap, and just as dangerous. One accidental snap could knock the pastor out cold.) Solution: I think we’re leaning towards a dark formal suit instead of a tuxedo.

4. Mr. Panda wants a pale silver grey vest & tie set. My morning lace dress for the ceremony is champagne/deep ivory. His groomsmen’s ties are all champagne. And he tells me NOW, that he has a mad love for silver. He is lucky to have an understanding, not to mention ingenious bride-to-be. Luckily, my wedding gown for the evening reception, my beloved Gatsby dress, is gold accented with pewter & silver embroidery, which should go nicely with his pale silver ensemble. This means that he’ll have to go with a champagne ensemble during the day (to match my dress & the groomsmen’s ties) but he’d be free to indulge in his mad love for silver at night!

I reckon a nice three-piece classic dark suit would be a nice addition in any man’s closet. By that I mean having the vest made of the same material as the suit itself, as opposed to having it the same colour as the tie. Since he’s already having a silver vest & tie set for the evening, it wouldn’t make sense for him to have the same set for the morning (how many vest sets does a man need anyway? Not like handbags). Better to simply get a three-piece suit and a champagne tie for the morning. A three-piece suit he might find some wear for, in a non-bridegroom capacity. Sort of like this:

A three piece suit in grey looks really smart too:

There you go; suitably formal enough (as opposed to just having a suit & tie without a vest) for a wedding, and yet versatile enough for other occasions.

And here’s a look at the lovely silver set for the evening:

I just LOVE the deep red rose against the dark suit, and the luxe silver tie & vest! Suitably somber & formal, yet bridegroomey with the deep red rose.

And here are some other potentials:

And then there’s this MARVELLOUS link to Geoff White Photographers with some amazing pictures of groom’s attire. I love almost every single one of them especially the ones with a spot of colour! (Which I know Mr. Panda would never ever go for, being the conservative mammal that he is.) Click on the link for more inspiration!

So I think our eventual decision taking into account factors such as (a) cost; (b) versatility; (c) sartorial etiquette; (d) Mr. Panda’s preferences; (e) Mr. Panda’s circumference; (f) the colour scheme of the events & the bridal party, would be to have the following:

1. One beautifully cut three-piece suit in black (to be worn in the morning, with a champagne silk tie, matching pocket square & gorgeous bout!)

2. Two white shirts with french cuffs (one for the morning which I fully believe will be drenched in Panda-sweat by the end of the morning shindig. The other one for the evening reception. French cuffs to accomodate the cufflinks I’ll be giving him as a surprise wedding gift in the morning).

3. One silver vest & tie set.

I don’t know if plans will change after this. So far we’ve managed not to stick to the plan in a variety of decisions. But I do know he’ll be an adorable-looking Panda in his custom-build made suit whatever happens. Made-to-measure…*sigh* Pricey, much? But then again, there’s no charge for awesomeness.

Congratulations to my beloved Babyduck!!

…On her recent marriage to her dear Dan-Dan (Sashi)!

All her planning leading up to her dream day is on her blog. She’s practically a sister to me; I’ve known her since she was 14, she’s my niece’s Godmother, one of my bridesmaids & a real darling of a person. It was with a pang in my heart, a prayer of blessing on my lips, and a tear in my eye that I witnessed her journey to becoming a ‘Mrs.’ Sashi is a lucky man to have Babyduck as his wife. Wishing them many happy years together & a gorgeous marriage that is as beautiful as the sunset in our beloved Kota Kinabalu.

Here are some pictures I pinched from various friends on Facebook. Babyduck is Chinese & Sashi is Indian, so she had a mix of cultures in the multiple events that form her wedding. Enjoy!

Stunning in one of her many saris for the Penang wedding.

She grew her hair overnight apparently. Along with a few strands of jasmine!

My girl, as a garden.

With the lucky groom.

I’ve NEVER seen her look more exotic!

Sealed the deal there! Equivalent of stamping a legal document. “My. Wife.”

This turquoise sari is my FAVOURITE! LOVE it!

Gorgeous solemnisation!

Looking stunning in a TTDF embroidered lace wedding gown in Kota Kinabalu for the Chinese leg of the wedding! It’s the most beautiful wedding gown I’ve seen to date; pictures do not do it justice! I WANT!!!!!

Stunning in a turquoise evening gown next to her groom and with their good friend, Jess.

I can’t wait for the professional pictures to come out! They’re away on their honeymoon now. Wishing them all the best of God’s blessings, and all the love in the world!!!

*HUGZZZZ*

The Groom Has Found His Ring!!

So after my mini-rant about Mr. Panda not being able to get his ring on time, providence stepped in & the problem disappeared!

I called around the Tiffany & Co. branches looking for an available US Size 13 Bezet band in yellow gold, and was told there are “only a few in the world; one being in London & the other one in New York.” Phwoaarr. That would make his wedding band rarer than mine. And all because nobody has fingers that big & the Bezet is a new style. We were advised to present ourselves at the nearest Tiffany & Co. branch to place an order in case the rings disappear from London or New York and another man (or, God-forbid, WOMAN) with bratwurst-fingers walks off with Mr. Panda’s ring!

After work, and fortified with my newly-acquired ’kiasuism’ mindset courtesy of my adopted country, we practically flew into Tiffany & Co. at Raffles Hotel to place our order. While there, the nice sales-assistant managed to find a few US Size 13 rings for Mr. Panda to try on for size. They weren’t the Bezet, but something funny happened when he tried on the rings:

(a) We found out that he was really a 12 and a half, not a 13;

(b) We found out that the Bezet, beautiful though it is on my finger, was a tad too slim on his. Or, in his words, “Too sissy lah!” It’s only 2.6mm wide. Slim still looks best on his finger, but it was just a little TOO slim;

(c) We found out that the Bezet’s unique shape (perfectly rounded inside out like a Polo sweet…LOVE it!) makes it very difficult for it to be resized in case of weight gain or loss. And you know, Mr. Panda & I will always be on this journey.  

(d) Mr. Panda fell completely in love with the 3mm wide (“Perfect width!” cries Panda) Lucida band in yellow gold!

He loved it so much, he whipped out his credit card before asking for the price (which wasn’t bad at all, considering the recent spike in gold prices. Tiffany maintained it’s old price which made it cheaper in comparison to stores like Poh Heng, etc.) And they had his size. The last and ONLY piece, mind you.

And so, the tables were turned, because now the groom has found his ring & it’s sitting pretty in T & CO right now waiting to be engraved! My ring won’t be done till mid-December. I’ve asked for a matching yellow gold band in Bezet for our first anniversary because I forsee I’d be wearing that most of the time when the babies come.

Our next challenge: To figure out what the inscription for our rings would be, and then to work on our vows! Yay!

TWO MONTHS TO D-DAY!! Problems, problems…

…and even less time than that if you consider the fact that the ROM will be one week before the Actual Day, on 23rd Jan 2010. (Really neat way for Mr. Panda to remember our anniversary: 0123. And if he misses that, he can still catch 30/1 which is likely to be his payday. If he doesn’t remember it, I am sure to.)

 

 We just spent a long weekend lazing about watching movie after movie. In between those islands of peace, I’ve had the occasional breakdown (two to be exact) thanks to my propensity to having panic attacks & my mother’s propensity to leaving everything to the last minute. Mr. Panda’s incurable, persistent ‘bochap-ness’ doesn’t help Bridezilla’s mental stability.

 

Guy only has ONE thing to manage which is to order & pay for his wedding band. Thanks to his giant finger size, he couldn’t get a wedding ring off the rack. We hounded about six different stores, and my giant furry friend whinged the entire time. (I’m rethinking the family plan. Who needs more kids when I’m already married to an oversized one?) The general reaction from the sales-people: “Hah! So big ah?! Where got ring so big one??” My general reaction to that general reaction is to snap ”Use more gold lah!” while La Panda hangs his big head in shame and hides the offending finger in his pocket.

 

Now Mr. Panda has his heart set on the Tiffany & Co. bezet band in yellow gold. The biggest size they go up to is US 13 which would be about Size 28 (Singapore). He is convinced he needs a Size 30 (Singapore) because he’s not used to wearing rings and wants maximum comfort (I suspect, the comfort that comes from having a too-loose ring slip off & disappear into the great wide unknown. Or so he thinks. He doesn’t know it yet but if he loses his ring, he’s going to have to get one tattooed onto his finger ) Now a size 30 Singapore would be about a US size 15. Wonderful. That means he can share it with the dog the next time she loses her collar.

 

To complicate matters, the Bezet is only 2.6 mm wide. That’s a ‘girl’ width. But he fancies it. So we’re talking about a really thin-looking ring with a really wide circumference. I must admit it looks really elegant on. But with a ring so thin & stretched such a distance on a finger the size of a sausage (the German variety), we really are risking some pretty serious wear & tear. Breakage, weird dints & bends, scratches, you name it. It still looks better than it would’ve had it been a thick, fat, wide band though. Those would make him look like ’Ah Long’  loan shark from Chinatown, especially if he decides to throw in a gold chain and grow his pinky fingernail.  *takes a moment to fight nausea over thoughts of revolting overgrown pinky nail*

 

 But anyway back to the Bezet. It takes 8 weeks to order the Size 13 from the US. That’s two months. And that means we are in danger of not having a wedding ring for the groom, come D-Day. 

 

When I found out, my entire face must’ve turned various interesting shades of purple before I inched my way to a couch so I could do a classic Victorian faint.

 

My penitent prospective panda-groom has now been advised that if he doesn’t want a little temporary barb-wire ringlet on his finger on that day, we will have to hit a few more stores in order to find him a jeweler who can be bribed, persuaded or scared into custom-making a proper wedding band in time for the wedding. No luck so far, everyone says ‘Two months mee-nee-mum!”

 

WHAT are we going to do??!

 

My own custom-made band should be ready by mid-December. It’s a curved/notched band (made to sit flush against my vintage engagement ring) with diamonds going all around it, and millgrain edging for that antique look I fancy. I tried to talk the makers of my band, Fairy’s Inc, into customizing one for Mr. Panda but sadly they said no. ” Two months mee-nee-mum.” (Actually Sandra doesn’t talk like that; she’s quite a good speaker, I must admit. But I love the uniquely Singaporean tang in the ‘mee-nee-mum’.)

 

 So now my choices are:

 

1. Order the Tiffany band anyway & hope it arrives before D-Day;

 

2. Continue my search for a jeweler who can do up his ring in 4 weeks instead of 8;

 

3. Put Mr. Panda’s finger on a diet;

 

4. Look in the tool-box for any nut or bolt that would fit his finger, at least as a stop-gap measure till his real ring gets here;

 

5. Modify the ring ceremony by tying a slim gold ribbon on his finger in lieu of the actual ring. And he can do the same for me! We’ll have the rings blest together later on and exchange them after the wedding. A bit of imperfection in the ceremony should add some charm & interest!

 

But what about my beautiful birds’ nest ring pillow I so painstakingly DIYed?? Haizzz.  

 

The moral of the story is this: Never send a man to do a Bridezilla-worthy job.

Ten Commandments for Husbands

Got this list from the pre-marital class. This is going up on our refrigerator. And our bedroom door. And our dining room wall. And maybe in a tiny card in his wallet.

 

1. Thou shalt not take thy wife for granted, but will honour and respect her as they equal. (1 Peter 3:7)

 

2. Thy highest allegiance, except to God, shall be to thy wife, not thy relatives or friends. Or thy computer game, food or toys. (Genesis 2:24)

 

3. Thou shalt frequently tell thy wife how important & valuable she is to thee. (Philippians 2:3; Proverbs 31:10-11)

 

4. Thou shalt hold thy wife’s love by the same means that thou won it. (Song of Songs, 5:10-16).  [Bridezilla translation: Keep doing what you did when you were courting her!]

 

5. Thou shalt actively establish family discipline with thy wife’s help. (Ephesians 6:4).

 

6. Remember to do all the little things for thy wife when you say you will. (Matthew 5:37) 

 

7. Keep thine eyes on thy own wife, not thy neighbour’s wife. (Proverbs 5:15-20; Job 31:1; Jeremiah 5:8)

 

8. Thou shalt make every effort to see things from thy wife’s point of view. (Genesis 21:12)

 

9. Thou shalt not fail to kiss thy wife every morning but not with thy morning breath. (Song of Songs 8:1)

 

10. Thou shalt not be stingy with thy wife when it comes to money. (Esther 5:3) [Bridezilla aside: This should be Commandment No. 1 lah!]

 

See? I told ya they teach good stuff at PMC!

Family Planning the Bridezilla Way!

I am finally ready for the pitter-patter of little Panda paws!

 

Ah, but since moving to Singapore, I can leave NOTHING to chance, because it’s simply un-Singaporean to do so! Everything must be planned to perfection, from the most momentous decisions concerning national debt and security to the littlest detail about how far the sidewalk bush should extend from the centreline on the highway island. And in like spirit, I shall now begin my baby planning, bearing in mind several assumptions:

 

1. That I am able to conceive, nurture & bring to term a healthy baby;

 

2. That Mr. Panda is able to aid me successfully in my procreational venture;

 

3. That we have enough money in the bank to support another big mouth to feed; and

 

4. That the baby arrives with a nanny attached, batteries optional.

 

With those assumptions in place, timing is my next concern!

 

The wedding will be in January 2010, two weeks before Chinese New Year, which means it would be still within the Year of Buttercup! (Cow, if you want to be technical.) Now that’s an excellent state of affairs, because I can’t say I’m too fond of doing anything in the Year of the Tiger. No offence to Tigers everywhere, but I’ve always found them a bit high-strung, aggressive and stubborn. And I have heard that having weddings in the year of the Tiger isn’t quite the thing to do.

 

Now don’t kill me about being a Christian and still getting caught up in the Chinese zodiac hype! I really shouldn’t, but still… Had an ex who was a Tiger and that relationship wasn’t a good experience overall. Conflict, conflict and still more conflict. It’s enough to make a saint superstitious.

 

Suffice to say, if I can’t have the wedding in the Year of the Tiger, then no bambinos also. Not sure a little Tigger will fit in the Panda Den. Superstitions aside, do I really want to have a baby in the same year I marry? Can you imagine all the ‘pat poh’ aunties counting backwards when I start showing a bump? (Which, in my case, would be within the first trimester! Sigh. Genes.)

 

So I figure, to avoid having a baby Tigger born within the same year we marry, the best thing is to aim for a baby Wabbit sometime in 2011! (After the Chinese New Year, which should be anywhere between January to March; any time before Chinese New Year would still be the year of the Tiger).

 

Baby Bunny has to come bouncing out earliest by March to avoid accidentally turning into a little Tiger, which means that the rubber sock can come off by July 2010. When I told Dad that we’d be trying for a baby from July 2010 onwards, he perked up and asked “Does that mean you two will be celibate until then?”

 

Err. Sure. Dad.

 

And the Tooth Fairy will come and give me a gold piece for being such a good little princess, and Mr. Panda will lose 80 pounds overnight and turn into Colin Farrell, and maybe the stork might bring us triplets.

 

Now, it’s imperative that I have this baby EARLY in 2011 because I definitely want another one latest by the end of 2012! Why? Because that would be the year of the Dragon! My Mom’s a dragon and she has so much personality I figure it would be fun to have another one in the house! :-D So between the first baby and second one, I’d like to have at least a nine month break to replenish lost nutrients, literally transfuse myself with D.O.M. or some other kind of medicinal alcohol, indulge in bird’s nest & spa my body back into baby-making shape. (First rule of marriage; be kind to your partner and keep yourself looking good.)

 

By the time I’m done with the baby bunny and dragonette, I reckon I’d be done with baby-making for a while (at least for the purpose of procreation :-) ). Because it would be time to raise them toddlers, get some kind of figure back, etc. Unless of course, both are boys, in which case the search for a baby-girl continues until we get one! But if we get lucky and get a daughter by the first or second try, I figure we can wait another four years before we try again. I’d love to have a little Monkey.

 

Oh, why? Well, you know, the usual reasons. My sister is a Monkey, and she’s such a smart and funny girl, it would be fab to have one just like her in the house.

Ang Bao Calculation Table!

I’ve found this really, really helpful!

 

Bear in mind, this is applicable for Singapore only, with possible slight variations in other Asian countries. Someone should do one up for Malaysia!

 

How To Choose a Flattering Suit for Your Big & Tall Groom

Ensure your clothes aren’t too tight

Your clothes should fit perfectly. Garments that are too tight will reveal all the lumps and bumps you’d rather not draw attention to. On the other hand, while very loose clothing will hide your problem areas, it will also make you look larger than you actually are. Take care when shopping to choose pieces that skim over your body and smooth out its surface.

Don’t wear tops with sloped shoulders

Avoid tops with naturally sloped shoulders as these tend to draw the eye down to your midsection. Instead, check to make sure that all your tops have slightly squared shoulders as these will concentrate others’ attention on your body to your chest and face.

Don’t wear bold patterns

Avoid loud or bold patterns as they will make you stand out in addition to drawing attention to the upper half of your body. One pattern you should wear, however, is vertical lines; they create optical continuity and will help elongate the look of your body. Dark, solid colors are also your new best friend as they are an instant figure fixer and will make you seem 10 pounds thinner.

Wear low-rise bottoms

Instead of wearing trousers and jeans that hit at your waist, invest in low-rise bottoms that sit on your hips. Low-rise trousers have a shorter distance between the top of the waistband and the crotch of your pants than regular trousers. Also, ensure that the waistband of your pants is large enough to accommodate your midsection so that your belly does not stick out over your pants. A stomach that protrudes over your pants lengthens your torso and shortens your legs — not exactly the most attractive combination. Rotund individuals should also avoid pants with pleats as they will make your pelvic area look bigger.

Empty your pockets

Don’t carry around excess baggage. Emptying your pockets of unnecessary items like bulky cell phones, overstuffed wallets and electronic devices will take the focus off a large midsection. On your pants, have any bulky side pockets sewn shut or removed by a good tailor. Doing so won’t cost much and it will make your hips appear smaller.

Wear V-neck shirts

V-necks are a great way to create the illusion of a slimmer neckline, particularly if you have a double chin, as they place emphasis on your chest area instead of on your neck. When it comes to dress shirts, choose ones with very pointed collars to focus others’ attention on your face. Avoid turtlenecks completely as they will make your neck disappear, meaning that you’ll look shorter and, therefore, bigger.

Wear three-button blazers

Avoid one- and two-button blazers. Instead, go for blazers with three buttons. They are just as classic as two-button blazers, but they will elongate your body and make you appear taller and, therefore, thinner. As well, always leave the top button on your blazer undone as it will stop your clothes from pulling, particularly in the area around your middle, and consequently, your movement will seem less restricted.

Stand up straight

It’s a tried-and-true tip: Work on your posture. Standing up as straight as possible will make you look like you just dropped 10 to 15 pounds and will also make you feel and act more confident — a trait that most people find quite attractive. To appear even slimmer, buy shoes with a small heel of about half an inch to one inch.

Avoid bulky blazers

Avoiding bulky fabrics means that chunky wool sweaters are a big no-no. To stay warm in the winter, go crazy for cashmere as it provides warmth without adding bulk to your figure. Or, try a dress shirt and V-neck sweater vest combination as the sweater vest will keep you warm while also smoothing out your midsection and love handles. For suits, choose softer wools so that the fabric is as thin as possible. Invest in high-quality, lightweight wool suits if you can afford them as these will be the most flattering suits for your body and you’ll feel and look like a million bucks when you put them on.

Wear pants with a longer hem

Wear your pants long to seem taller and thinner. They should hit almost at the ground to really lengthen your body. If you’re wearing shoes with a heel, the bottom of your pants should hit about a quarter to a half inch above the heel, no more.

Reproduced from Askmen.com

On the beach…

Here’s a sneak preview of our engagement photos. This is my favourite photo of Mr. Panda & myself on the beach just before sunset.

 

Gotta love Sabah! Although this is the least lovely beach in Sabah just because the sand isn’t snowy white & powder fine. I think it’s because it’s closest to town.

 

Check out the waves against the sand…

 

 

I just wish Mr. Panda wasn’t frowning so hard in the picture though. You’d think he’d be smiling so hard his head would fall off at the thought of marrying me. *mutter* Instead of that tortured expression. I wonder if they can photoshop that furrow away. I threatened to Botox the heck out of him the week before our wedding day just to get rid of the furrow.

 

Our ROM Invitations!

I got our ROM invitations back some time ago, and was super-excited. Viv was an angel as usual, and delivered a great product! When we gave it to David B, our marriage counselor who’ll also be doing the prayer of blessing at the ROM he stared at the invitation for a long time, finally pronouncing, “Guys, this is a beautiful invitation! Really, really nice!”

 

When a man of God says it like that, you know it’s something special! *lol*

 

The thing is, I couldn’t take proper pictures of it though, because the light cream paper is shimmery, which means it reflects light everytime I do it with flash. I haven’t had a free weekend to take pictures of them during the daylight hours (and I get home from work pretty late, which means dark, which means flash, etc.) So you’ll have to see them here on Viv’s website.

 

The thing with shimmer paper is pictures will never really do it justice. In reality, the card is a soft creamy shimmery paper backed with a sweet lavender/lilac shimmer card underneath. The colour of the motif and words is a cross between a pale violet and periwinkle blue. Mr. Panda LOVES these invitations; I suspect they’re his favourite of the lot!

 

They should match our ROM theme also, since I’ll be having yam/lavender roses accented with lilacs and ivory eustomas. I’m so excited about marrying my love amidst such prettiness! Yay!

Setting Up A Wedding Website

Not long ago, when I began to embark on all things bridal, it occurred to me that I live an extremely wired life. My work as an in-house legal counsel requires me to be online the whole time because I cover 11 different countries in the Asia Pacific region and I rarely see my internal clients face to face. Everything is handled online.

 

Beyond that, I’m a pretty steady networker with most of the networking activities being done online via Facebook, Twitter, etc. The World Wide Web is my absolute favourite resource for entertainment, music, information (Wikipedia rocks!), keeping up with long-lost compadres of yesteryear, looking up good takeout places around my condo, etc.

 

 Since I’ve started this blog, only a handful of my real-life friends know about this, as I wanted to keep the wedding a secret until perhaps two months before. Right about now.  Planning to announce my impending marriage by the end of the month at which point this blog is gonna go public!

 

 Now keeping a blog is heaps of fun…sometimes too much fun! J But, it doesn’t really help me keep organized when it comes to tracking invitations, managing guest-lists etc. How would guests across half a dozen countries in the world get the information they need to fly down to Sabah for the wedding? How would they RSVP? How do I get all of their mailing addresses when all I have (for most of them) is just their email contact? How do I upload pictures and video files so that loved ones from far away can still be part of our special day?

 

 So I decided that in the age of technology, a wedding website is the way to go!

 

 I did a little research and found two brilliant sites: one is www.weddingwindow.com and the other is www.theknot.com and they BOTH rock!

 

 www.theknot.com actually provides a free website which tracks your guest list as you input the information, and even tells you how many invitations you need at the end of the day (because some guests bring their spouse, others get invited as a family, etc.), and it tells you how many actual people would be there too! That way you can manage the number of invitations you need more accurately, and you can manage the number of pax for food, seating etc. Beyond that, the site is packed with useful wedding-related information and inspiring ideas, pictures of real weddings, anything and everything a Bridezilla worth her stripes would die over!

 

 I started with www.theknot.com but ended up purchasing a package at www.weddingwindow.com because it had some of the features I really liked. So it’s really a matter of choice. Learning how to navigate and build your website will take a few trial & errors but once you get the hang of it, easy-peasy!

 

With www.weddingwindow.com I get a choice of having everything on my website reduced into a CD at the end of my subscription (you get anything from 3 months till kingdom come). As a keepsake, you know? I also elected to purchase our own domain name for a small fee. Something easy to remember. I’d recommend this option, for sure.

 

Here’s a Bridezilla tip for ya: If you’re getting many tech-savvy guests from overseas, a wedding website is really the way to go, because it will save you the hassle of getting everybody’s addresses, etc. Both sites mentioned also allow you to customize a ‘Save The Date’ which has your website address on it so that people can go online and check out all sorts of useful information about the wedding. BUT…don’t expect the oldies to get down with this website thang. You should emphasise that you are not going to skip the formal invitation rite; this is really something extra that some guests may appreciate, especially if they’ve never been to the place where the wedding would take place.

 

You could also choose to go one step further and use www.evite.com to get some sort of confirmed numbers first before following up with invitations. I love that they have a ‘respond’ function so you’ll know! ‘Save The Dates’ only go so far as to inform someone you’re getting married, but it doesn’t make them respond as to whether they’ll be making the perilous journey to the end of the world to share in your matrimonial celebrations!

 

 If you want the best of both worlds, you’ll do what I’m going to, and link your website to your evite!

 

 Bridezilla suggests this order:

 

 Step One:

Send electronic ‘Save the Dates’ as early as you can so that guests from overseas can make travel arrangements. Your ‘Save the Dates’ should have your wedding website address on it so that they can get information on accommodation, flights, etc. and plan their trip.

 

Step Two:

About six to eight weeks before the wedding, send your evite with the response option. Your wedding website address should be in the evite as well. And this evite function will handle all the reminders for you. J

 

Step Three:

Four to six weeks before the wedding, send your formal invitations. By now you’d have had some responses on evite and can figure out how many formal invitations you’ll actually need. Seating charts, food preparation etc would be a cinch also. All your invitations should have an electronic RSVP option with your wedding website address on it as well.

 

Picking the design for the website was super-easy because all the templates were nice. I just picked the colours from our theme and that was that!

 

So without further ado…here it is: Bridezilla’s wedding website!

 

  http://nigelandjosephine.com

 

 

Now wasn’t that easy?

We Made It Into WeLoveLaughKiss!

Bridezilla’s blog got an honourable mention in Winston+Hellen’s blog, WeLoveLaughKiss!

 

Check out their cute & quirky blog that’s reminiscent of all those foreign-made wedding blogs I lurrrrve, but with a distinct local flavour!

Our Official Wedding Announcement Photo

As promised in an earlier post, here’s our favourite photo from last night’s shoot, and the winner of the ‘official wedding announcement photo’ raffle!

By Hondo at Glamour Studio. Make up & hair by Angie Yee, same place. Dress, JCrew ‘Goddess.’ Veil, belonged to Abby’s Mummy. Pearls set, present from Mom some years back. Groom, all mine.

*ecstatic*

What You Should Avoid If You Don’t Want the World to be Your Gynecologist

1. Dress to suit the weather. If it happens to be an extremely windy day with imminent showers (like yesterday for example), DO. NOT. WEAR. A. WRAP DRESS.

 

2. If you absolutely, positively, DIE-DIE MUST wear a wrap dress on said windy day, make sure you have a strategically placed pin on the inside fold of the skirt so that accidental flashing can be avoided.

 

3. If you are pin-challenged (like I am), and you absolutely, positively DIE-DIE MUST wear a wrap dress on said windy day, then make sure your hands are not occupied carting bags of wedding invitations, rendering you helpless and unable to grab your skirt when it catches in the wind.

 

4. If you are an infantile risk-taker or you’re just feeling lucky, plucky & sucky and absolutely, positively DIE-DIE MUST wear your favourite wrap dress on said windy day, and would like to try that trick without a safety pin or free hands while crossing a busy street in front of the MRT in the middle of Shenton Way at PEAK hour, then you’d better be wearing really good underwear. Instead of regulation cottons whose only saving grace is being BLACK!

 

5. Better yet, you better hope the skirt is long enough to cover your face when it flies up. Because by now, I can safely say that my notoriety in the Lion City is hard-won and comes at tremendous cost. *sigh* And if I ever have to go for a job interview around Shenton Way, I can probably mention this incident as a mental reference. (“Yah, remember? Shenton Way? Windy day? Black undies?”)

 

I’m lucky I already have a fiance. Because after yesterday, I really jatuh saham sudah (“share price drop”).

 

And of all the tips this Bridezilla has generously shared with y’all thus far, you should circle this in RED!!

 

Unless you really do want the world to be your gynecologist of course. In which case you’re on the wrong blog.

Stop Press! Bridezilla’s Brilliant New Discovery(ies)!

Sorry for the long absence! A combination of food-poisoning, laziness & frenzied wedding prep is to blame.

So let me share what’s latest!

No surprise to some of you Bridezilla-buddies that I wasn’t altogether pleased with the results of the pre-wedding photos. I mean, they were ok & all, but Mr. Panda & I completely missed the point of the photos. We needed two good, close-up pictures for newspaper announcements, the loud colourful “Congratulations” messages, and also the invitations (my Mom wants our picture on the invitations, don’t ask me why.) Instead, we ended up with so many scenic outdoor shots that were blurry up-close, and I looked all squinty in them (because of the sun & heat) and Mr. Panda just looked hot & uncomfortable (because of the sun & heat) and people tell us we were grimacing a lot too (because of the…you get the idea.)

In short, when I saw the proofs for the reception invitations in Kota Kinabalu, I almost had a heart attack. I looked like Jessica Rabbit, only 40 pounds overweight, and with a rotund, sulky Roger Rabbit beside me. Mr. Panda’s tie looked like it was strangling him, and he had a permanent furrow between his brows.

So the decision was made within 10 minutes that we were going to find a studio in Singapore who’d take TWO photos with the emphasis on close-ups, clarity, and flattering angles. 

And we hit pay-dirt with the discovery of the amazingly talented Hondo from Glamour Studio! called him on Saturday & he slotted us in on Monday evening. We just had the shoot, and just looking at the raw pictures made me so happy I’ve decided he shall be our official photographer from now on! Graduations, first baby, you name it! 

The thing I like about Hondo’s style? He’s fast, confident, self-assured, and you have no time to get nervous. The best thing about Hondo is his tendency to micro-manage your pose, and his eye for details. No way are you going to find that your hubby’s shirt-sleeve has disappeared under his coat jacket, or your double chin is showing or something. For non-professional models who have NO body consciousness when it comes to posing, you really need a photographer who will manipulate you into giving your best angle ever! And his ability with photoshop is MAGIC!

So here’s a Bridezilla tip: If you’re gonna take photographs for wedding announcements whereby the majority of the people picking up the newspaper to see your face will never meet you in real life, go ahead & photo-shop! You won’t look like someone else, believe me. You’ll still look like you. Only “cleaner”, smoother, sleeker and more striking. No different from applying airbrush makeup, backcombing or wearing a steel-boned corset, no? So what’s the big deal with photo-shopping? You’d be in good company since most of the major models and movie stars have that done also.

I can’t wait to get the finished product! He’s promised to email them tonight (we just finished at 9.30pm earlier) so that I can email them to the invitation printers tomorrow. How’s that for good service?

Ah, Hondo! I’ll be naming my firstborn after you! Sort of. Maybe my next puppy. Maybe I’ll get a Honda.

Anyway you heard it from Bridezilla first!!

Second brilliant discovery…Angie Yee, the freelance makeup artist who did my hair & makeup for the shoot at Glamour Studio earlier! She works with Hondo and her makeup is so fresh, natural & pretty I just wanted to pack her into my Samsonite & lug her home! None of that Canton Opera/Mak Andam look! She doesn’t have a website but Hondo has her contact. 

I made Mr. Panda take several pictures of my face and hair after the shoot so that I can show them to whoever’s doing my actual day makeup in Sabah. Check these out, with and without flash:

That’s me in my dress from work. During the shoot, I wore my JCrew ROM dress instead of my actual wedding gowns, because I’m still sticking to the “he’s not going to see me in my wedding dress till the actual day” rule. ROM dress doesn’t count; besides, Mr. Panda has seen it already.

As you can tell, the makeup isn’t too “scary” (Mr. Panda’s term for outrageously drag-queenish makeup). I still look like me, only prettied up a bit, no?

Now the hair. Angie told me that since my shoulders are really broad, I shouldn’t go for a total up-do because that would make my head seem smaller in proportion to my body. A half up half down with my long hair tucked to one shoulder is the best look for me, because it visually ‘cuts’ the width of my manly (dang it!) shoulders. By the time I pestered Mr. Panda to take pictures of my hair, it was almost 10pm and the hair’s been messed up with the veiling/unveiling & countless adjustments. As a result it looks like a tangled mess right now, and devoid of ornaments. But even so, the basic style is there, which is what I’d like the actual day make-up artist to attempt.

Side profile. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve got the most perfect ears ever. My best feature And I can hear really well too. (My dad doesn’t think so.)

I’ve decided to email the last two pictures below to my prospective makeup artist in Kota Kinabalu.

And last but not least, I wanted to showcase my florist Irene’s creation for me! A little posey for the photo-shoot. I didn’t give her any guidelines or whatever, just told her to whip something up for me so I’d have something to carry for the photoshoot. And this is what she produced:

Isn’t it utterly divine? She did one up overnight (since I came to a decision for new photos really quickly!) and dropped them off at the condo at lunch time. Here they are now, drinking up a storm in the biggest cup I could find.

If you need any flowers, do consider Irene from All Things Floral. Beautiful work.

And that rounds up Bridezilla’s top three discoveries today! More pictures to come next post, so stay tuned!

Imaginary Babies

I’ve been feeling a bit nesty lately. Thinking of babies the last few days. I’m not alone either. Mr. Panda is a good six years older than I am, and he really feels like starting a family by the end of 2010. *eeeeks!* 

 

We’ve got our baby’s names all picked out. Gabriel for a boy. A good strong name, old-fashioned, Biblical (an arch-angel mind you), and it means “God is my strength”. And for a girl, Sofia, which means “Wisdom”. We both think it’s a beautiful name that’s simple yet exotic enough to conjure up gorgeous Italian supermodels living la dolce vita. I wanted to give her a middle name, Rose. Don’t you think Sofia Rose is a lyrical, dreamy name? *happy sigh* But Mr. Panda is doing battle with me over the middle name bit. He doesn’t believe in middle names, but he’s SO not going to win this battle! 

 

Unfortunately, I googled ‘Sofia Rose’ and found out it was the name of a famous porn star. Eeeeeks! I thought pornstars call themselves Bambi Funbags or something…why would one call herself something as romantic and beautiful as Sofia Rose??????????  *annoyed*

 

So my back-up is ‘Sofia Grace’. ‘Grace’ means the undeserved favor of God. Lovely.

 

We would probably try to make Gabriel/Sofia happen sometime towards the second or third quarter of 2011, God-willing. It’s the first time in my life that I feel somewhat ready for babies. Quite excited & happy about this!

 

*dreaming of booties*

Strip-Tease for Dummies: The Hen’s Nite Chronicles Part II

We had such a blast at Babyduck’s hen’s night that I decided to follow up with another post!

 

This one will be to record the steps we learnt from Renee so that y’all can benefit from our experience.

 

First we’ll need some great music. Pussycat Dolls “Loosen up my buttons” is a great choice. Then we’ll need someone to sit on a chair…this will be the ‘lap’ upon which we will dance/gyrate/act like hoozies. Next…

 

1. Slide your right leg to the left in a criss-crossing motion; and then extend your left leg in the same direction with your toes pointed.

 

2. Repeat the motion to the right, ending up with your left leg crossed over to the right.

 

3. Pivot at that point, so that your bootie back is facing the person on a chair.

 

4. Move backward to sit in between the person’s lap.

 

5. Grab the person’s arms and wrap them around your waist, one arm at a time, and on the last count fling both arms away from your body (this is the ‘tease’ bit in the strip-tease!)

 

6. While in a seated position, part your knees, bend over as you get up from the chair, point your bootie at the person’s face while gyrating sensuously (or attempting to), and then do a sudden snapping motion, flicking your hair back as you bring yourself upright. (You gotta have long wild tresses for this; if you don’t, wear a wig for effect!)

 

7. Still with your back facing the person in the chair, run your hands sensuously all over your body before turning backwards to face your victim.

 

Bridezilla’s got the moves, y’all.

 

 

8. Turn to face your, erm, client, and then walk slowly around the chair, stopping beside the chair and facing your client at three quarters. Pause; do a sexy figure eight wiggle with your hips s-l-o-w-l-y. Then stand directly behind the chair and run your hands up & down the, err, client’s body.

 

 

9. Complete your circuit around the chair and face your client all the while moving as sensuously as you can. Next, you repeat the movies in steps 1 & 2 all the while unbuttoning the sleeves of your shirt.

 

10. Once you’re done with the sleeves (I couldn’t manage the buttons…too fiddly. If you wanna do this, would suggest rigging the shirt with velcro fasteners!), hit the buttons down the front of the shirt!

 

 

11. With your back facing the client, swivel and grasp one sleeve with the opposite hand as the shirt falls seductively from your shoulders. Then fling the shirt to the right!

 

Like so…

 

 

…aaaand away!

 

12. Touch yourself all over before twisting your body to look backwards seductively at your prey. *miaoww* Then turn around completely & do a few sexy moves (I honestly can’t remember what they were now, but you can improvise!).

 

 

13. Then you slither to the floor and do a little back-bend while thrusting your hips forward at the same time, undulating (somewhat like a waving palm frond!)

 

 

14. After that you do a sexy kitten crawl, sort of like a sideways crawl heading towards your prey sitting in the chair.

 

 

15. When you reach the chair, spring up from your crawling position right back on your feet with your legs parted. Very, very tricky on the knees, mind you. Then straddle the prey, undulating & what-not right in his face. (The rule is that the guy can’t touch you; only you can touch him, so have fun with that!)

 

Here we are trying to learn the art of the lap-dance from Renee!

 

That’s me with Christine!

 

 

And Babyduck with Tasha!

 

16. The big finish. If you’re doing this right, you’d theoretically be bare nekkid and on your hubby’s lap at this point. So erm, theoretically he should be able to take over from there.

 

Of course, you can always have a bit of fun with costumes or other props.

 

 

The main idea is to let your imagination run wild! I’m thinking this would be a good honeymoon trick but unfortunately (a) I don’t think my knees can take that kind of pressure & (b) I think Mr. Panda will either laugh his head off or blush because he isn’t into these things. I think. Maybe marriage changes a guy’s mind. *LOL*

 

There you go, strip-tease for dummies. Easy, no? We had an awesome time, but I’m thinking we should all keep our day-jobs. Except Sze Hwa maybe. (She was excellent). *LOL*

 

 

Seductive sign-off from Bridezilla…*flying kisses*

 

Conversation Overheard

Mr. Panda:  Baby, why do you call me Mr. Panda in your blog?

 

Me:  Well, obviously it’s because you look like Kungfu Panda I am ‘Princess Panda’ so you have to have a matching moniker as well!

 

Mr. Panda:  Then how come I don’t have a title? Why am I just a plain old “Mister” while you get to be “Princess”?

 

Me:  Erm. You want to be called “Prince Panda” meh?

 

Mr. Panda: [Significant pause.] Maybe not. [Another pause]. Then what happens after we’re married? Are you going to take my name and become “Mrs. Panda”?

 

Me:  Ok. Whatever makes you happy, darling. [Thinking 'What the heck kind of conversation is this!']

 

Mr. Panda: AhA!!! Are you trying to say that by marrying me, you will lose your exalted title & become a commoner??! Is this some kind of subtle dig at me? Are you thinking you’re marrying beneath your station in life? Is this what you think of me??!

 

Me: ???….I…you….WHAT??!

 

Mr. Panda: I demand to be called Lord Panda!

 

Me: *blinks* Ok. Henceforth you shall be called ‘Lord Panda’ and after our wedding, I shall retain my title as ‘Princess Panda’ to signify that my exalted station has not changed just because I married you.

 

Mr. Panda: [Happily goes back to his computer game].

 

 

Lordy me, I’m marrying the village idiot. 

Life is…

 

Life is not measured by the
number of breaths we take
but by the number of moments
that take our breath away…

My Wedding Invitation Suite

Got everything from Viv yesterday. Thrilled to bits! Here are shots of my bounty:

The wedding programs/ceremony booklets

The wedding invitations and cupcake favor flags

The Buffet Table Sign

 

Since our ceremony is somewhat inspired by “Lord of the Rings” and “Narnia”, it seemed appropriate to place a little Tolkien quote about food on the buffet table!

The Table Names

To go with our Lord of the Rings/Narnia overtones, we named every table after significant places in Middle Earth and Narnia. I think it gives a subtle, humorous touch without being overly theme-y. Viv helped me source the perfect vintage looking frames from Ikea which are an antique ivory shade (very bridal at the same time!) I plan to reuse the frames after the wedding; we’ll be putting in pictures of us with specific individuals/couples and then presenting the whole frame to them as a gift. We have just enough for both sets of parents, and our bridal party! So you see, nothing is wasted!

Vintage Maps for the Reception Table

Vintage map of Middle Earth in a beautiful rustic wooden frame! Mr. Panda & I collect LOTR and Narnia memorabilia and books. So these will be going into our library or nursery in the future! There are hooks behind the frame so we have an option of hanging them up on a wall.

A map of Narnia! Viv hand-aged the edges before putting it in a wooden frame. LOVE!!

Here’s a look at the whole set!

What to put in your ceremony program or booklet

I found this terribly helpful write-up from wiregrassweddings. Reproducing it here:

 

Wedding Program Sample Wording

Wedding programs are incredibly unique — from the layout and embellishments, to the content.  Your program should have the same “feel” as the rest of your wedding and should add to the ceremony, not distract from it.  That being said, there is no “official guide” to what must be included in your program.  This may be used as a guide to what is traditionally included in a program.

ON THE COVER:

     *  Full Name of the Bride

     *  Full Name of the Groom

     *  Wedding Date, Year & Time (the time is optional)

     *  Wedding Location

     *  A design or monogram that matches the theme/feel of your wedding.  Or you may want to include a   picture of you and your fiance

THE WEDDING CEREMONY

*  Prelude (you may want to list the music that is played in the prelude, or leave it off)

*  Seating of the Grandparents and Mothers (may be two separate items, or together  — usually dictated by if there are 2 songs or one song being played).  Include the name of the song and the composer, or the soloist/duet/trio, etc…

*  Chiming of the Hour (most brides do not include this, but I listed it in case you will be chiming the hour at your wedding)

*  Vocal Solo/Musical Selections

*  Processional (include what is being played while the bridal party enters)

*  Entrance of the Bride (include what is being played while the bride enters)

*  Call to Worship

*  Statement of Intent

*  Prayer

*  Scripture/Poem Reading

*  Charge to the Couple

*  Exchange of Vows

*  Exchange of Rings

*  Pronouncement of Marriage

*  Lighting of the Unity Candle (include the song that is being sung or played during this)

*  Blessing of the Marriage

*  Presentation of the Couple

*  Recessional (include what is being played during this)

*  Postlude

*  A brief line inviting guests to the reception

THE WEDDING PARTY

*  Officiate (minister, pastor, rabbi, etc.)

*  Parents of the Bride

*  Parents of the Groom

*  Grandparents of the Bride

*  Grandparents of the Groom

*  Matron(s) of Honor (may include their relationship and/or city and state)

*  Maid(s) of Honor (may include their relationship and/or city and state)

*  Bridesmaid(s) (may include their relationship and/or city and state)

*  Flower Girl(s)  (may include their relationship and/or city and state)

*  Best Man (may include their relationship and/or city and state)

*  Groomsmen (may include their relationship and/or city and state)

*  Ring Bearer (may include their relationship and/or city and state)

*  Musicians (include their instrument, or list if they were a vocalist or soloist)

*  Bell Ringer (if you have one!)

*  Registry Attendants (the people who kept the bride’s book for you)

*  Program Attendants (the people who passed out the programs at the door)

*  Reception Attendants (the people who are assisting at your reception)

*  Wedding Director

*  Wedding Coordinator

OTHER THINGS THAT ARE SOMETIMES INCLUDED:

*  Special Thanks (to your guests for coming, your parents for raising you right….etc.)

*  Directions to the reception site

*  Dedication — “The candle in the front of the sanctuary burns brightly in loving memory of Mrs. Pearl Smith, grandmother of the bride.”

*  Your “At Home” Address — you new address, phone, email…

*  A special poem or scripture

*  Notes of interest — for instance “the bride’s veil was originally worn by her grandmother in 1935″

*  Items explaining customs, special ceremonies, riturals or symbols that were included in your ceremony that your guests may be unfamiliar with (especially for ethnic weddings)

*  An brief story about the highlights of your relationship – how you met, the proposal, etc…

*  Insert a card and let your guests in on the fun!  Ask them to write down their favorite memory about you, their favorite part of your ceremony or some marriage advice on the cards.  After the ceremony, you can have a basket set up where they can drop the cards in as they exit.

WHAT TO STAY AWAY FROM:

*  Generally, people who are paid for their services are not listed in the program (photographer, florist, bakery, caterer, printer or stationery shop)  — that being said, it’s your wedding and if you want to include them, go right ahead.

*  Do not mention gifts, money trees, etc…

*  Do not over-embellish you programs.  Too much ribbon or clipart will take away from the overall effect.  Also, just use 2 fonts at most — one fancy font for the headers and one easy-to-read font for everything else.

*  Keep in mind the lighting of the church in regards to the colors you select — elderly guests, or those with compromised vision may have trouble reading light colored ink.

Tacky Bridesmaids’ Dresses

After reading this post and seeing the pictures, methinks my bridal party ought to be dropping to their knees and kissing my petal-pink tootsies!

 

Teruknya. Eeeee. Like ‘Cinderella goes to a Halloween ball’ theme.

The Perfect Wedding Vendors

Mr. Panda & I are very blest to have so many lovely people working with us for the wedding. All of their details are on the links to your right. Here’s a little post on how we came to land on such good people!

 

Our Photographers

 

Our wedding day photographer in Malaysia is the excellent Louis Pang. He is quite well-known in the wedding photography industry and his prices are not for the faint-hearted. But when all is said and done, and the last cupcake eaten, the last song ended, all we would have to remind us of that day besides our memories, would be pictures. And I always knew that aside from the banquet, photography and videography would be my biggest expenses. Besides, Mr. Panda & I need all the help we can get to look fabulous in pictures!

 

As for the ROM photographer, we again, struck gold. As you’d know from my previous post, the ROM event was totally unplanned and unbudgeted for. So we didn’t have a lot of money to play with. I was praying for someone who’d do all the pictures for less than SGD500. And one day my future Mom-in-law sends an email talking about her best friend of 60 years, and how this lady’s son has just set up his own photogaphy business. We met Derrick yesterday and he was exactly the way he sounded on the phone, gentle, lovely, thoughtful, creative and kind. He took his time recce-ing the venue and asked to come back with his camera so he could test it out. That’s way above and beyond the call of duty, and yet so very Derrick somehow. The name of his company is Perfect Light, because photography is all about light and also because God is his perfect light.

 

One of his pictures taken during his travels won the Epson prize; it’s of little Bei-Bei playing with her grandfather who obviously adores her. Look at the expression on their faces! I love this photo! When Mr. Panda & I have little pandas, I’m making a note to call Derrick for fun shots like these!

 

 

Aru Bridal did our pre-wedding photographs, and I think they did a good job even though we couldn’t use most of the photos. But that was mostly because Mr. Panda couldn’t find it within himself to smile. Even my Mom thinks he should chill out a bit “Oh, he’s too tense in photos!” *LOL* Luckily he has no secret ambition to become a male supermodel macam Zoolander. Sure die of starvation. Here’s a photo that had mixed reviews. I had to crop it because my darling brought his mobile phone in his pocket and the outline was very clearly seen!

 

 

Our Videographer

 

The very first time I turned up at Substance Films and saw Yang’s work I immediately crossed out the names of all the other videographers I was planning to meet with. SOLD! For quite a lot of money though. His montages had the dreamy, vintage, romantic quality that captured the love, excitement and hopes of the wedding day. I wanted the same little montage for myself. Badly. And so Yang became the only vendor I’ll be flying over to Malaysia from Singapore to do the videography. I would say that cinematography is a better term to describe the results. Not for me, the cheesy point & shoot type videography. In fact, I’m planning to make copies of our little wedding movie for our parents. Wedding cinematography is the way to go, people! You heard it here from Bridezilla.  

 

Our Stationery

 

By now you’ve probably heard me rave about Viv from MadeVivLove several times! Can’t help it, she does gorgeous work and the attention to detail is amazing. We just got our entire set of invitations, table names, frames (I got her to get them for me), tags & flags, etc. from her yesterday and she was thoughtful enough to pack the glass separately, find a box that could store all the stuff securely in anticipation of our flight home, etc. That’s really customising service to suit the client’s needs! Will put up pictures of my bounty later when I have a bit more time, so stay tuned!

I must say we got lucky with this recommendation too. Babyduck recommended her and mostly b ecause Christine had her invitations done by Viv as well. So word of mouth travels well especially when it comes to ‘pat po’ girls like us! *LOL*

 

Our Florist

 

Another recommendation by Babyduck & Christine, the two brides who are doing this whole wedding thing just slightly earlier than me. Irene from All Things Floral sounded lovely over the phone, and her creations are also really pretty. She had all these ideas spilling out of her, it got me quite excited even though I was initially planning on having a really simple floral decor given our budget limitations. However, she seemed quite happy to propose things based on the budget given, so I’ve decided to let her do her thing! Lavender and yam roses mixed in with ivory two-toned roses will be the theme! The advantage of dealing with someone who’s not a huge commercialised florist is that you get more personalized attention and the prices are probably cheaper as well, since there’s no high-end shop rental to account for.

 

Our Cake

 

Again, this is based on Christine’s recommendation. She had Pink Vanilla do her wedding cake for the ROM which turned out lovely. They also did the penis cake for Babyduck’s hen’s night (no pictures up here!) and although it looked about as appetizing as a penis made out of sugar paste would, the rest of the cake was totally yummy! My guess is, if someone can do a “Noah’s Ark” birthday cake and a “roses-galore” type bridal cake, AND an anatomically correct X-rated hen’s night cake, she’s  a dab hand at baking. Making my yam and ivory roses cake may be an anti-climax after Babyduck’s cake (which was obviously modelled on a non-Jewish male person. Ahem.)  

 

Our ROM Caterer

 

Another Babyduck recommendation, I have no clue how the food would taste like but apparently Orange Clove is the sister company of the Neo Group and I have heard rave reviews about the delicious food. A bonus for us; they can provide covered chairs and tables without us having to source and rent from another company. “Bao ga liao” situation suits me! Most importantly, the price seems reasonable.

 

Our Wedding Bands

 

Ok this has been the topic of earnest discussion between Mr. Panda & myself. We both had our hearts set on Tiffany & Co. ‘Bezet’ bands in yellow gold. The problem is my engagement ring setting is really low and so it won’t sit properly next to the wedding band. The diamonds in the cluster setting would scratch the gold and wear it out…not something I want to deal with since I’d like to wear them together.

 

The other option I had was to custom-make a curved band that would fit with my e-ring as if they were an engagement set. That way I can wear the two together on one hand, and there won’t be any gap or scratching or knocking! So my custom-made curved diamond eternity band will be from Fairy’s Inc. while Mr. Panda’s regular gold Bezet band will be from Tiffany & Co.

 

Here’s how a curved band would look next to an e-ring:

Now my curved band will have diamonds all around it and will be fairly slim with a millgrain edge to give it that suitably antique look. Besides that I’m still thinking hard about having an alternate band (the Tiffany ‘Bezet’, same as Mr. Panda’s ring) for days when I have to work with raw meat, clean poop, lift weights, sleep, travel to third world countries on mission trips, etc. Sometimes a whopping bling ring may not be suitable, and yet I don’t see myself as someone who’d be happy not to wear any ring at all. It’s also a sentiment thing; would love a ring that would match Mr. Panda’s. I’d wear it on my other hand on days I’m wearing the engagement set. Should I do that?

 

After all, I have two ceremonies! *LOL* ROM in Singapore and church wedding in Malaysia!

 

 

As for the other vendors, I’ve posted in depth about my tailor, the bridal shop where I got my Maggie Sottero gown, the hotel where we’ll be having our wedding, my custom shoe-maker, my kwa-rental shop and JCrew. All highly recommended for good service and excellent results! Don’t do things the hard way; do it the Bridezilla way! Check them out for yourselves.

 

xx

Babyduck’s Hen’s Nite! Part I of the Hen’s Nite Chronicles

I’m just emerging from a haze of post-party exhaustion. But Babyduck’s hen’s nite was a crazy success since I’ve never seen her act so nuts in my life! Kudos to Christine who ought to be an event planner.

We started out with lap-dancing lessons from Renee who’s a sweetheart and a really good teacher with a really good arse  too. Bridezilla’s Gold Star recommendation here!!!! If you want a rockin’ good time with your gal-pals, forget the pamper parties and jump straight to lap-dancing or exotic dancing lessons. I’ll bet your man would appreciate that a lot more than your freshly petal-pink toenails (unless you have a very sick bf with a foot fetish of course.) You can have a pedicure and massage any old time, but when else are ya gonna gather up your girls for something as saucy or give as much mileage as an exotic dance lesson? Renee’s your girl! Her number is 9188 8383…call her!  We were very happy with her services, especially Babyduck, and especially when she took out the naughty costumes! MUAHAHAHAHHA!

I think a few of us really took to the moves (are you reading this Sze Hwa?? *LOL*) and when you pair them with the Pussycat Dolls soundtrack, we really got it goin’ on!

I’m breaking this post into a few parts. This is the “clean” part. The second post on Babyduck’s Hen’s Nite is going to be password protected so that innocent and not-so-innocent individuals can still keep their jobs and pristine reputations. *LOL*

So we’ll let the pictures do the talking, shall we?

In the beginning…Babyduck sans makeup & costume, wearing the pink veil Christine got for her and the pink feather boa I got (which she hated and now I have it in my house and it’s the dog’s new best friend!)

 Renee teaching us how to do a sexy figure eight with our hips…and Babyduck attempting the figure eight without moving upper torso.

Whole bunch of doctors plus Christine who’s superwoman, and ONE lawyer (me) trying to test our own ability to get a second job as lap-dancers. I think Babyduck said WE’d have to tip the customers to watch us. Oh ye of little faith!

Christine in serious concentration mode.

Ahhh…the ol’ “crawl towards the guy sitting in the chair” move…prior to lowering yourself down onto his lap. So instead of walking there like a normal bipedal mammal, you crawl like a sexy bipedal mammal. Christine mastering the moves for Darren here!

The stripping part of the lesson. How to do it glamorously and sexily…

…Aaaaand away the shirt goes!!

Fantastic form, ladies! You’d have thought they were pros. Bravo!

Babyduck practising the lap moves on good-girl Tasha.

Lots of laughter while opening presents. 

Sitting next to her loot. Have a closer look at the light blue object right in the middle of the lot. *LOL* Courtesy of Miss Christine!

Babyduck in the absolute TAMEST of all the costumes she had on that day. The little red devil! And this is the only one I’m putting up in this post. The rest would be password protected.

A little group shot. Clockwise from the top left: Babyduck in the red devil costume, me, Christine, Sze Hwa, and Tasha!

After that we had a bit of food and got ready for a party! The theme for us girls was “Slutty black clothes with a big flower in hair”. Babyduck had to wear black too, but she’d have on the pink veil headband instead of a big flower.

Here’s one of me with Babyduck before we joined the others:

 

Unfortunately we didn’t have very many slutty black clothes. My black dress is the sluttiest outfit I had since it was completely backless, by the flower is really a fascinator I got from Australia on one of my trips. The nett effect is of a woman going to an Ascot race rather than a bachelorette at a Hen’s Nite party! And Babyduck looked like the bride of Frankenstein here, only beautiful and without stitch marks.

A group shot of the hens at the club (check out the fishnet!):

And another one closer, with fewer hens:

The List!

Christine hamming it up with Babyduck!

One last shot with the girl of the hour:

There aren’t any shots of me at the lap-dance lesson because I was on camera-duty most of the time. However, I did my share of the “sexy kitten crawl”, only those pictures are in Sze Hwa’s and Christine’s cameras. So you never know; you might see them in part II or III of the Hen’s Nite Chronicles!  

So stay tuned!

What the UPS guy brought today…

YAY! 

 

My MOB (Mother of the Bride) dress arrived today! Thanks again to Uncle Herman, God’s precious gift to every Bridezilla with a hankering for “deliver within the US only” goods!

 

As usual, JCrew came through for me with the lovely Lorelei Daydream dress, which was both luxe (beautiful silk material) and vintage-y (in the print of the material; and that goes with my vintage-inspired lace gown without being too “matchy-matchy”); classic (the cut and silhouette is timeless and universally flattering), dignified (add Mikimoto pearls, a classic calf leather, duchesse satin or basket-weave clutch & matching high-heeled sandals and she’s ready to go) without being stuffy & old-marmish, and understated at the same time (the colour is not too bright which would have drawn too much attention away from my gown when she walks me down the aisle with my dad), and finally, it is beautiful & unique (something every MOB should aim for; it is the MOB’s day to shine too, albeit in a different way).

 

 

I’m styling it with a pink pashmina I already had, a blush/ivory flower clip on a pale organza ribbon I’m using as a belt. But that’s just me using whatever’s available right now to make an interesting picture.

 

 

But really, she could use a cream coloured cardigan or a pale peach/blush wrap also.

 

 

My little 13 year old junior bridesmaid (youngest sister Ning) has a pretty dress in Tea Rose as well! The only difference is that it’s in cotton cady and not silk chiffon like the others. A bit more age appropriate. But it will be her first grown-up dress. The Lydia in cotton cady:

All the colours in here seem to be uber-bright. They’re really rather muted in real life (or as Mr. Panda puts it, “Rather dull colours huh.” But it doesn’t bother me since we both know the style maven of this unit ain’t him.)

 

 

And last but not least, the UPS guy brought my Maggie Sottero Certificate of Authenticity that came with my Gatsby gown!

 

 

I used the retouch funtion on my Mac to erase the certificate number at the bottom left hand side of the certificate to prevent issues. This little cert is going to come in handy when it’s time to sell the dress or even if I want to keep it. I’ll most likely keep it. Seriously, it’s a light and slim dress so it’s not like it takes up a lot of closet space!

 

Really happy about this. YAY! 

 

 

 

Midnight Frolic

Tired but not quite ready to turn in yet. Grabbed my baby for a little fun in the Photo Booth.  

 

How To Choose the Perfect Wedding Attire for Your Groom

Clothes make the man. 
Naked people have little or no influence on society”  
– Mark Twain

*LOL*

I love Mark Twain!

Well for all you grooms out there, this is the post you’ve been waiting for! So much ink has been spilt and pixels expended on Bridezilla’s attire.

Now it is Mr. Panda’s turn!

The reason we took so long to get here is because Mr. Panda still harboured some hope that he would become Mr. Panther instead of Mr. Panda in time for the wedding. It’s a good thing I didn’t agree to marry him for his physique otherwise matilah.

So while your groom’s requirements may be different, these are my Mr. Panda’s requirements for his wedding outfit:

1. He’s quite generously cut, so his suit should try to make him look more, erm, streamlined instead of bulkier.

2. The wedding is in the morning which means his outfit should be appropriate for the time of the day.

3. He can’t wear a cummerbund. For obvious reasons. Which means he’d have to wear some cute suspenders, or a waistcoat. A waistcoat would be more formal but I’m a bit worried it’ll add another extra layer of bulk, so we’ll see.

4. It should be versatile enough that he can wear it again for another formal function without anyone thinking he’s wearing his wedding suit to a party! Which means as smart as the grey morning stroller, top-hat etc look, I’m afraid the ol’ “Four Weddings & A Funeral” look is out of the question for us!

5. Regular flat collar or wing-tip? If your man has one regular chin, nothing beats the wing-tip collar for that luxe, classy air. But if he has three chins, then the wing-tip/bow-tie look is going make him look like he’s being slowly strangled by the knot of matrimony. Quite apt, in some cases.

6. As we’re on a budget, just like 99% of engaged couples out there, versatility is key, since we’re having the ceremony in the morning and a formal reception at night. Otherwise we’ll end up having to make two suits for him. That would be crossing the line, because whoever heard of a groom’s attire costing more than the brides???!

So there you have it; I need to get him something formal, slimming, without a cummerbund, that can take him from day to night with just a change of tie, and which would make him look suitably formal and “groom-like”. Essential, since my papa will definitely be decked out in HIS tux! Won’t do to have the FOB (father of the bride lah) looking smarter than the groom!

In my research I’ve found a most excellent resource. Read this. You won’t regret it; the author is most amusing and insightful about all things menswear!

In addition to the article, I’ve pasted an extract from the Dummies’ Guide to picking out the perfect wedding tuxedo. Enjoy!

Choosing a Tuxedo or Suit for Your Wedding Day

Proper fit is the key when it comes to dressing the men in the wedding party. To determine the fit, try on the suit or tuxedo, including the correct shirt and shoes. Place your arms at your sides, fingers extended. The hem of the jacket should be no longer than your middle finger. The sleeve should grace the top of your hand, and your shirt cuff should peek out from the jacket sleeve no more than half an inch. Your trousers should skim the heel of your shoe in back and break slightly over the tops of your shoes in front. Because the extra buttons on a double-breasted jacket draw the eye toward your midsection, that style looks best on someone who’s tall and slender. To create a more debonair silhouette, consider having some extra padding put in the shoulders and the waist taken in a bit.

What’s your style?

Whether you go for a traditional or trendy look, you need to understand the elements of style at your disposal, as shown in Figure 1, and how to carry them off.

The style options for the male members of the wedding party include

• Cutaway or morning coat: In its traditional design, this coat is for the most formal morning weddings. Coats are black or gray with a single button at the waist and one broad tail at back. You wear this style of coat with a winged-collared dress shirt, ascot, and striped trousers. If you’re going all-out and — this is important — you can carry it off without looking like you’re playing dress-up, add gloves, spats, and a top hat, and perhaps even a walking stick. It can be made a bit less formal with a patterned tie in lieu of the ascot.

• Dinner jacket: In classic white or ivory or a subtle pattern of the same, with peaked lapels or shawl collar. Works well in summer months or in warm climates, in the afternoon or evening, and is considered an appropriate substitute for a standard tuxedo. Great for a casual wedding or a rehearsal dinner. Looks particularly well with formal black trousers with a side satin stripe — think Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca.Available for purchase or rent at a formalwear shop. (With some vigilance, you may unearth one in a vintage clothing boutique, but go over it carefully for stains, rips, missing buttons, and so on.) You may wear a white dinner jacket even if your ushers are in black tuxedo jackets. Some designers are showing white-on-white suits replete with vests.

• Stroller coat: Variation of the morning coat, usually hip length. Looks good with fancy waistcoats. Designers such as Kenzo and Christian Dior Paris have in recent years shown versions with a touch of whimsy.

• Tails: A jacket that’s short in front with two longer tails hanging in back. Worn with braces (suspenders) and a white pique shirt, vest, and bow tie (as in “white tie and tails”). Very formal.

• Traditional tuxedo or black tie: Usually worn after 6 p.m., but can appear at a formal daytime wedding anytime after noon. A black or gray jacket with a single button is the most classic. Has shawl, peak, or notched lapels. Worn with matching flat-front (or one-pleat) trousers, bow tie (no clip-ons or glitzy colors), and suspenders, vest, or cummerbund. For some of the elegance of tails without the full grandeur, you can wear a tux with a white vest and white tie.

• Updated black tie: The evening suit is a newer variation on the classic tux with the satin or grosgrain trim on the lapel and pants legs, albeit subtly. These tuxes are worn with a black shirt and a regular tie in lieu of a bow tie, and often with a belt rather than suspenders.

• The gorgeous dark suit: For a dressy but not formal wedding or for the groom who absolutely won’t wear a tuxedo. Choose charcoal, black, or navy and a solid-color or subtly patterned tie to dress it up.

Check the lapel

An important aspect of a jacket’s cut is the lapel, especially with a boutonnière pinned to it. Here are the main choices:

• Notch lapel: This jacket lapel boasts V-shaped cuts pointing inward where the collar and lapel meet the jacket (as in Figure 2). Accentuates the horizontal, so not a good choice if you’re on the heavy side.

• Peaked lapel: A jacket lapel that includes two points of fabric on either side that project upward, with narrow spacing between the lapel and collar.

• Shawl collar: A rounded jacket lapel (as in Figure 2) that rolls back in a continuous tapering line. Double-shawl collars roll to reveal satin lining. Looks very elegant trimmed with satin stripe or contrasting piping. A great choice whether you’re tall and husky, short and stocky, or generally super buff and want to create a more vertical line.

Renting versus buying a tux

Buying a tuxedo or a good suit is always a better investment than renting a cheap tuxedo. Rented tuxedos unfortunately often look like rented tuxedos, as ill fitting and uncomfortable as bad toupees. They’re also not cheap, running between 25 and 50 percent of the purchase price of an average tuxedo. It is a safe bet that you’ll get more wear out of a tuxedo that you own than you may think. Remember, also, that you’ll be looking at these photos for the rest of your life. If you’re renting, don’t spend the extra dough for the shoe option. Rental shoes by definition fit poorly and look worse. Shining up a pair of your own makes infinitely more sense. You’re getting married, not going bowling.

Finding the right suit, tuxedo, and accessories can take as much time as locating the perfect wedding gown. If you’re getting married in a popular wedding month and are planning to rent for yourself and/or the ushers, reserve the tuxedos as soon as possible so that you don’t wind up with the dregs. Because you’ll be on your honeymoon, have the best man return rented outfits the first working day after the wedding.

If you do rent, you can usually pick up the tux two or three days in advance. Check to make sure that all the buttons are on and secure and that the tux has no stains, cigarette burns, or other damage.

Photo of the Day!

This is our “Three Months to the Wedding!” family photo, courtesy of my ‘Photo Booth’ (Macbook).

 

 

Not a great photo though. Grainy, bad angle for me, no makeup, flat hair, Mr. Panda’s eyebags can host their own solar system, and the Yeti is seriously PISSED off about having to deal with being squished between the Pandas and having a big flash go off in her face.

 

Three months to go!

Today we’ve hit a new milestone!

 

We’re officially at the three month mark.

 

The day is looming closer…we’re going to send the “Save-The-Date” emails by the end of November after we have the official nod from Ps. Dr. Philip Lyn. We’re going to be married by him in my hometown of Kota Kinabalu, on account of the fact I’m from Skyline SIB Church. Here in Singapore we worship at Wesley Methodist Church at Fort Canning, and the building is to -die-for! Check out the picture of the sanctuary. Mr. Panda & I were longing to use the sanctuary for our solemnisation but alas, too many hurdles to jump through, so I think we’re keeping it as an option for a vow renewal venue sometime down the road.

 

Although to be honest, I shouldn’t be planning anything anytime soon. We’ve had about three days of tiffs & unhappiness because I’m stressed, and he seems totally disengaged from all the work that needs to be done. I’m having a hard time understanding why sweet lovable Mr. Panda is so ANTI-WEDDING-PLANNING!!! And mind you, this Bridezilla is already doing all the heavy lifting for our big day!

 

All Mr. Panda had to do was:

 

1. Make sure we have the JP’s consent and licence number so we can e-file the marriage notice at ROM (not done despite two dozen reminders);

 

2. Finalise his guest list so I can tell Viv how many invitations to make for the ROM and the ceremony in Malaysia (not done als0);

 

3. Organise the logistics for his parents/guests and getting everybody’s arrival times, etc. so Mom can arrange for pick-ups, tours, rooms, etc. (NOT DONE!!)

 

4. Draft his vows (Sigh.)

 

5. Select his tux so he can present the ideas to the tailor

 

6. Order his wedding band (it’s gonna be the Tiffany ‘Bezet’ ring in yellow gold)

 

7. Decide on the ring engraving (because we’re both lawyers, he thought it would be funny to have “Caveat Emptor” on our rings. Latin for “Buyer Beware”. *roll eyes*)

 

And a dozen other little details that are super easy to handle if only he’d just GEDONWIDDIT!!

 

I just don’t understand men. Some are so on fire with wedding preparations, they blog about it. (Witness Winston & Hellen and zhiweiandweixian!) Some, like Mr. Panda, just want to get the whole event over with so we can settle into some kinda routine. Apa ini????!!!!! 

 

We have so much in common already, but this is a real jarring discordant factor. I know I’m Bridezilla enough for 10 couples, but really, some obssessing on his part wouldn’t be out of place.

 

So here we are, at our three month mark, and I’m gagging to get to my kickboxing class to work off my head of steam right now. Grrrr….!!!

 

So tell me about YOUR groom. Does he fall into the “male Bridezilla” category (like my brother), or the “excited & with ya every step of the way, honey!” like the male half of zhiweiandweixian, or the “what? Oh. Anything lah” category ala Mr. Panda?

Guo Da Li Take II

I’m totally chuffed about the ‘Guo Da Li‘! We’d already decided earlier that the most auspicious date in our calendar would be Christmas Day which would be almost exactly a month to our wedding. 

 

Well apparently, Mom went to check the Chinese calendar on the date as well. And guess what? It was also an auspicious date for ‘guo da li’ according to the Chinese calendar! Hallelujah!

 

Mom & I discussed the ‘jia zhuang’ or dowry which we’ll have to return to the guy’s side when he brings the gifts of jewelry, food and cash. The usual stuff would be silk slippers, baby potties, red bath tubs & stuff. Not very practical for us, considering the space constraint! What will I do with a whole bunch of red plastic-ware in our severely space deficient condo?? So Mom said to pick practical stuff instead, like 500 threadcount bedsheets, thick fluffy white towels, elegant chinaware, etc. And not necessarily all in red; we just stick the ‘double happiness’ stickers onto the white sheets and towels and call it a day.

 

Bridezilla tip: Modify tradition to suit your situation. The ‘jia zhuang’ traditionally consisted of things that would help the married couple in their new life together. And so, wouldn’t it make sense to make the ‘jia zhuang’ lifestyle-specific instead of gripping squarely to the old ways?

 

Speaking of Chinese tradition, I came across the most darling tea-set at the Chinese wedding store in City Mall. I know I bought the Peranakan tea-set for the tea ceremony really early on, and that’s super-special. But then there’s this other one, and heck, I just can’t make up my mind now!

 

So which one is nicer?

 

The white and red tea-set with cut-out double happiness motif?

 

 

Or…

 

The sweet Peranakan tea-set in traditional pink, and turquoise green?

 

 

And here they are side by side:

 

 

And once more with flash!

 

So now combined with the tea-set I bought in Singapore and which I love, I have THREE tea-sets! That’s one too many!

 

I love all three, but I think it would be better if I kept just two sets. It means I have to give one of my babies away. That makes me happy still, because I know just the person to give it to. She’s just like my own sister to me. So it really would be giving from the right hand to the left, no?

 

The annoying thing about Babyduck is that she’s always two steps ahead. I bought a garter for her, and found her she’d already bought one! Haizzz… I hope she doesn’t have a tea-set yet!

‘Upset Princess Panda’

Had a typical manic Monday funk today. Got really upset dealing with nasty emails from a backstabbing colleague. So I did what any modern, liberated, independent self-respecting career woman of the 21st century would do, and poured out my upset to Mr. Panda in an email.

 

He told me it’s a storm in a tea-cup, and that I was the most wonderful person he knew and that he’s my biggest fan and not to be upset anymore.

 

Then he sent me a cute picture entitled “Upset Princess Panda”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I tell ya, if I wasn’t already marrying this guy, I would SO snap him up!

Behind the Scenes at the Pre-Wedding Photoshoot

A follow-up to the previous post. Getting ready in the studio & snapping away with my camera-phone. Grainy quality expected.

 

Lots of exercises to tone arms, shoulders and back…a MUST if you want to wear a strapless gown!

This is not my dress, just something the bridal house let me wear for the shoot.

 

 

Giving me mermaid hair with Babyduck’s extensions and a curling iron!

 

The finished look. I think Hong was going for the Asian Barbie look. LOL!

 

Dress sizes quite small. I had to be SEWN into my dress! That’s right, needle and thread! Joining the ranks of Marilyn Monroe now. Quite chuffed about that! Hehehe!

 

I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille!

 

More to come…stay tuned!

Pre-wedding Photoshoot: Dos & Don’ts

‘Ello, ello! I’m back from glaringly hot and sunny Kota Kinabalu, where Mr. Panda & I had a short weekend and a long day of pre-wedding photography. Didn’t bring my Mac with me, so quite malas to blog on the weekend. Not that there was any time. We literally landed at midnight, got settled, woke up with the birds the next day and had a full day of shooting, followed by some private sister time with the youngest Panda princess, Ning, at City Mall (where I also managed to select and pay for my “Guo Da Li” package. More on that later.)

 

We were supposed to leave at 6.40pm the next day, and before that, meet with the pastor, attend church etc. But Airasia retimed the flights early which meant we had to cancel the church plans and go off to the airport really early instead.

 

So anyway, back to the photography. We picked Aru Bridal, mostly because of Babyduck’s recommendation, and also because they were housed in a beautiful colonial bungalow with a pretty garden, and located right across the beach. I like that we won’t have to waste any time traveling too far from one scenic venue to the next. More bang for the buck, if you ask me. Less time spent traveling = more shots = higher possibility of picking something you really like from the pile. Considering Mr. Panda & myself (not exactly the poster bride & groom you’d find on top of a cake), we’ll need all the help we can get. So picking a bridal house with such outstanding readily accessible snap-points is a huge plus. And you know what, it wasn’t expensive either!

 

We got there by 9 am, and I got into hair & makeup for the first shots, and it just went on from there until lunchtime. Mr. Panda & I snuck back home to grab a bite & to chat with Mom. He took some snaps of me in my “supermodel makeup & hair”.

 

 

I had temporary human hair extensions clipped on, courtesy of my darling Babyduck, who had left them at the bridal studio. Makeup was by a nice lady called Hong, from Aru Bridal. The diamante “BRIDE” tank-top is from Victoria’s Secret. I couldn’t resist the kitsch factor. Jeans are old, by MANGO. Makeup here is a bit garish for day-to-day but works beautifully in photos.

 

 

I wasn’t trying for the Hooter-girl pout here. Honest! It just happened to look that way! Mr. Panda brings out the “miaowwww” in me, I guess.

 

 

Here’s a close-up of Bridezilla, as you’ve never seen her before. The makeup artist was raving about Babyduck’s hair extensions, since I didn’t have any volume or sheen in my own pathetic undernourished crowning glory. So we determined that for my actual wedding day, I had to have proper extensions ready so she can do her magic! I desaturated the colour in this picture because the bright makeup was a bit much for me.

 

 

I made this sepia-toned to cover the fact that Mr. Panda took a blurry picture!

 

 

The Shoot

 

The weather on the morning of the shoot was perfect. Blue skies, the sun was shining, everything we needed for a perfect day of shooting. Mr. Panda was as stiff as a board of course. At one point, the photographer Lotty (poor woman) took me aside and asked me to “please make him smile”. I did my best, nothing worked, until I glared into his eyes (I’m sure it must’ve looked loving and intimate in the photos, but trust me, it wasn’t a loving kinda glare). And I said, “Darling. Smile. Now.” He seemed to think it was funny, and burst out laughing. *bemused* Well, whatever works. As for the results, (will post them later when we get the soft copies), well, my mother laughed out loud and commented on Mr. Panda’s apparent inability to smile. He looked like he was suffering throughout. I shoulda made him do some kungfu moves.

 

Bridezilla’s Tips on Pre-wedding Photo Engagements, based on experience:

 

1. The photographer was nice to work with, and took really pretty scenic shots, but provided little posing guidance, preferring to let the clients be natural. However, when working with non-professional models who collectively have about 40kg to lose, there should have been more direction on posing in such a way as to be flattering. Most photographers revert to the old fomulaic poses; face the camera with your back, and then turn back to look at the camera, for eg. Now when we did that, my back-fat and the underarm flab looked obscenely huge, and Mr. Panda suddenly developed a third chin!

 

Solution? Trust your instincts, and ask the photographer to show you on the little screen after a doubtful shot. If you look awful there, you can put your foot down and say no, when they request certain other shots. Remember, you’re the director here.

 

You and hubby should do your homework beforehand, and pose in front of the mirror or get hubby to take pictures of you posing, and then swap. Read websites, magazines, close your eyes and think up creative ways to present yourselves in a way that fits your personalities. But ultimately, you should be the one to know which poses flatter you best, what’s your best side, etc. Be more proactive. You’ll reap the benefits later.

 

2. The makeup was fine, but the updo for my bridal shoot wasn’t the look I was after. I should’ve brought pictures of the hairstyle I wanted, just to give her a visual reference. Remember: there’s no such thing as being TOO prepared. 

 

3. I’m particular about accessories, and the generic rhinestone stuff they have in most studios really don’t turn me on. I should’ve brought my own accessories. In fact, I should’ve had a clearer concept of the entire shoot instead of leaving it to the photographer who does not know my taste nor should she be expected to. Bridezilla dropped the ball there.

 

4. Make sure that your hubby removes all keys and mobile-phones etc from his pockets. It distorts the shape of his silhouette and can ruin an otherwise pretty picture. Mr. Panda’s Nokia was clearly outlined in one of my all-time favourite shots, and now we can’t enlarge it. I’m still miffed with him. WHO BRINGS A MOBILE PHONE IN HIS PANT POCKET WHEN TAKING PHOTOGRAPHS???!!

 

5. Make sure that hubby keeps his jacket buttoned during formal portraits. An unbuttoned jacket gives a sloppy unkempt appearance and can spoil the picture. The problem is, most photographers concentrated on the bride to make sure she looks great in the photos, and not so much on the man. Hey. Who wants to LOOK like they’re married to a sloppy, pudgy idiot with three chins??

 

6. Little things matter. When he is seated, is the gap between his hem and the top of his socks showing? TACKY. Is his tie crooked? BAD. Is he sweating? What about his fingers? His teeth? And the bride…are her boobs looking like they’re about to fall out of the bustier? Is the ‘lean forward cross your arms’ pose too obscene? I had to call a stop to the ‘lean forward, hubby please stand behind her and put your hands on her waist’ poses the photographer was so keen on doing. Looked a bit x-rated to me. Also, be aware of your surroundings. Our absolute fave shot couldn’t be used because the photographer’s assistant decided to position us next to a giant light bulb that added nothing to the ‘framing’ of the picture.

 

I must say though, we had a lot of fun doing this shoot. The people are great, the photographer was really dedicated, and the price is good, and with a bit of proactivity on our part and experience on theirs, this might be an outstanding adventure! Mr. Panda & I are already planning to take more pictures after the wedding. We like pictures, and once we’ve lost all the weight we’re supposed to, this might be a good way to celebrate. 

 

Props to Lotty, for being so dedicated and staying till 1.30am to rush the proofs for us before we had to depart the next day. We asked for about 6 pictures to be edited first, for our wedding website, and another 1 for Mom to put in the wedding announcement and the reception invitations. We’ll be getting the fully edited soft copies next week. I can’t wait!

 

Once they’re uploaded in our wedding website, it will be time to announce our engagement to our friends.

 

Stay tuned for more updates!

Guo Da Li Date! *drum rollz*

By now you’d know how pro-Chinese tradition I am when it comes to weddings. My really modern grandma is going to cringe big-time when she sees me wearing a “qua” (“kwa“) for the “picking up the bride” part of the wedding. *beams* What can I say; I’m a throw-back, vintage-loving, super-retro traditionalist!

 

Well as of yesterday, the whole “ping kam” (bridal dowry or bride price) issue was amicably settled and quite painlessly, I might add. To avoid any potential awkwardness, Mr. Panda’s super ang moh parents weren’t consulted at all. My hubby to be is going to be footing the whole bill by his furry old self. My super-traditional parents are also quite happy to compromise when it comes to the “ti qin” (formal proposal by the groom’s parents) and the “guo da li” (formal betrothal) rituals, in that they’re ok with Mr. Panda representing himself, since his parents are quite elderly and live in far-off New Zealand and can’t really travel long distances too frequently.

 

Now in case, y’all think my parents are “selling” me for a profit, let me just tell you that if I were a day-old fish with one leg and a purple nose, they’d still be making a loss based on the amount they’re asking. Talk about a token amount. When I went back the last time, Mom bought me a diamond bracelet as a gift, and that cost more than the entire sum of “ping kam” Mr. Panda will be offering. I feel really bad about this actually; the generosity of one’s parents (especially mine) knows no boundaries.

 

Anyway, we were wondering when the right date for “Guo Da Li” would be. Usually you check with the Fengshui master for this, but since we’re all Christians, we decided to modify this bit. So we decided the most auspicious date for us, and that also happens to fall within a month of the wedding date, would be….

 

 

*drum rollz*

 

 

*…and rollz*

 

 

 

*SMASHING CYMBALS!!*

 

 

 

CHRISTMAS!! 

 

*LOL*

 

I mean, check it out, it all works out perfectly! Christmas is exactly a month before our wedding; everyone will be in a holiday mood, Mr. Panda & I already have tickets to go back to my hometown, and Mom wants us to have the food-tasting at our hotel reception on Christmas day itself! And can anyone tell me that Christmas isn’t an auspicious date??

 

So now at least Mr. Panda has a workable deadline by which to raise the money for his bride. And I will need to source all the traditional wedding paraphernalia for the betrothal and dowry.

 

See Babyduck’s betrothal and dowry set here, here & here for reference.

 

So nice to have a bridesmaid who’s getting married just before you are. Doubles up your resources!  She’s recommended this shop in City Mall which specialises in all the Chinese wedding paraphernalia. I’m hoping their prices would be cheaper than in Singapore. After the photoshoot on Saturday, I’m going to deposit a tired Mr. Panda back home, and rush off to City Mall to gawk at the stuff! And maybe bring my little sister out for a good shopping spree as well. And thus, her journey to the dark side begins. Hehehe.

 

Will keep y’all posted with pictures!

100 Day Countdown starts NOW!

Today, we have officially entered into the 100 day countdown to D-Day!

 

I feel a mixture of excitement and nervousness, and yes, fear. I’ve had such a wonderful life to date. Parts of it wasn’t so wonderful, but even that did not take away my overall joie d’vive and the way I look at life in general. It is really hard to say goodbye to all those experiences, the life that belonged to single, carefree, go-anywhere-at-the-drop-of-a-hat me.

 

For, come January, things are going to change. Would my new life as part of a unit be as great as the other one? Would being one of the “smug marrieds” (Abby’s Mummy’s term) change me for the better or worse? Can I really be responsible for another person’s happiness, and build a family (and subsequently, be responsible for even more lives) and take on the burdens of marriage and motherhood, and still be me?

 

So you see, there’s not a little apprehension there.

 

But then I look at Mr. Panda and I know that if there’s anyone in the world I’d face this change with, and for, it would be him. They don’t call it ‘taking the plunge’ for nothing. Besides, having entered my 30s now, I’ve put this off for long enough.

 

Still…takut, takut, you know?

*butterflies in my stomach*

If You Don’t Have It, Fake It: The Perfect Wedding Day Nails

Here it is, the promised post on how my stubby, chewed up nails with the ragged cuticles and chipped nail-polish got a complete makeover!

 

 

I came back to the condo at lunch to take a few “Before” shots:

 

 

Struggling to take the “Before” shot with one hand, when SOMEBODY scrambled across to help Mummy with the camera. And so here we have yet another gratuitous Yeti shot:

 Here’s a clearer shot. But if you look closely, a certain furry somebody still managed to get into the picture.

 

So right after work I marched myself to the Nail Palace at Tanjong Pagar MRT and got myself some brand-new gel nails!

 

They’re way better than stick-ons because the stick-on ones don’t last and they look super-fake. In my opinion, they’re better than acrylics because those look fake too unless you apply nail-polish onto the acrylic nail itself. And as you know, nail-polish chips off, so if I wanted a nice French manicure, the white tips always chip off in less than four days tops.

 

Gel-nails are different. The nail technician first attaches the white tips to the ends of your fingernails and files down the tips to my desired length. These will be the white tips of the French manicure. Chip-free, because there’s no paint there to begin with.

 

Then she paints on liquid gel over the rest of my nail-bed right over the white tips as well, so that there’s a clear even layer over the entire nail. After that she pops my hand under a portable UV light oven thingy for about 3 minutes and when I take my hand out, the gel has completely dried and my nail is almost done! The the lady will file it some more, buff it into a great shine, and then paints a special gel top-coat over it so it constantly looks shiny. 

 

Bridezilla tip: Wear sunscreen on your hands before going to get your nails done. They’ll be baking in UV rays for a few minutes until the gel has hardened.

 

Let me tell you, they look, and FEEL like my own nails! So natural, shiny, beautiful, glamorous and grown-up. I was an INSTANT addict; couldn’t stop touching them and playing with them. Phwoar, anything you can do with your natural nails and even more besides, you can do with these babies! No problems with swimming, dishwashing, typing or getting dressed. And they promise to be chip-free and shiny and durable the entire time! 

 

So I ask you, why bother growing your own nails for the wedding when you can have instant (as instant as 2 and a half hours can be anyway) perfection LITERALLY painted onto your own nail bed? I have looked at them from every angle and distance. There is virtually nothing to distinguish them apart from your own keratin strands. 

 

Ta-da!

 

The pictures don’t do it justice, seriously! The light’s all wrong, the nails don’t look pink or shiny, but you really gotta see it to believe it!

 

 

 

To be perfectly honest, they only extended about 2-3mm beyond my fingertips. I made sure that I could still function normally since my blogging work is done via computer. But the slight extension and the illusion of greater length thanks to the white tips really creates an instantly well-groomed effect to my poor hands. Nothing like a beautiful set of nails to send a message “This woman is sophisticated, mature, urbane and takes great care of herself.” 

 

I LOVE THEM!

 

Now I think I’ve stumbled upon a new addiction!

 

Oh, as for the toes. I think I’ve found my wedding colour for those cute tootsie shots. “Chapel of Love” by O.P.I is a bold, happy pink that’s quite intense without being fuschia. So the colour is both soft and intense at the same time, which is what I’m after. I want that shot of colour, but I don’t want a brassy effect which can be a bit “aunty”. My skin is fair, so it’s quite a pretty colour on me. It’s not candy-floss pink; a look I avoid at all times because it makes me (and possibly every Asian with yellow-based skin tone) look washed-out. Not Barbie, bubblegum or pre-teen pink either. Hard to explain. Even if you google it, it’ll still look different from reality because each monitor is different. Best advice would be to go down to your local nail place and give it a go! This one’s got the Bridezilla stamp of approval also.

 

So if you’re like me, and can never grow the perfect set of nails for whatever reason, there’s no time like the present to fake it! These days, you can’t tell the falsies from the real thing anyway, so save yourself the stress and walk 4 inches taller knowing you have perfectly enviable nails; the best that money can buy.

ROM Updates…

As you all know, we’ve been trying to nail a few things done for the Registration of Marriage  (ROM) ceremony. I’m refusing to call it a wedding because to me our wedding day is on 30th January 2010 in front of a Pastor! Still, Mr. Panda thinks 23rd January 2010 is the day I will be his wife, and his parents are all excited that we’ll have an unexpected do in their home-base after all, so I guess we’re going on with it.

 

Our initial problem:

 

1. We didn’t budget for this, so we’re going to have to believe God for every extra cent spent on this little shindig;

 

2. The space we’ve got our heart set on, (ie. our home, or at least the Event Room of the condo) is too small for 60 pax;

 

3. Mr. Panda wants to feed everyone a proper dinner instead of canapes & hors d’oevres only (as was my plan if we were to have this registration done at Raffles Hotel at 9am); and

 

4. Mr. Panda wants to invite all the members on his team at work – which would be one-third the guest-list!

 

Raffles Hotel luncheon would be beautiful but four times more expensive, and definitely less personal than we’d like it to be. PLUS my makeup artist wants to charge extra for doing the work before 7am, so that would mean more cost.

 

And, durn it, we really wanted to have it at the Event Room!

 

So I decided not to take Management’s word for the room capacity. And armed with a pink measuring tape and a piece of paper, I got to work drawing out the outline of the room.

 

And then I REALISED that I could possibly fit 59 pax in there comfortably seated with a bit of creative manoevring and placement of tables! And seriously, if you invite 60 pax, do you really expect all 60 to turn up?

 

So…we’re going ahead with dinner at the Event Room on 23rd January 2010 for his relatives and colleagues. Oh, and the theme will be ivory and lilac.

 

Will show you the ROM invitation mock-ups by the talented Vivienne once she shows them to me.

 

Stay tuned!

Nyeh nyeh nyehhh…. :-(

Three days before our photoshoot, and guess what?

 

1. I had my period today. Which means, in my case, EXTREME bloating, tenderness, and swelling in all sorts of places I don’t want to swell!!! Not to mention tiredness, backaches, lethargy and BAD skin.

 

2. I had a facial today to try and get rid of the bad skin situation before the photoshoot. BIG mistake. Because my skin is more sensitive during my period, the whole process brought tears of pain to my eyes, and now my entire face is swollen like an over-ripe fruit.

 

3. Hormone-induced IBS means I go charging for the toilet at least once every 40 minutes or so. Did I mention the bloating from gas in addition to bloating from water retention?

 

4.  Hair-trigger temper and frayed emotions = a scared Mr. Panda who, after all these months, still can’t get used to bridezilla riding high on hormones.

 

So I’ve decided to sleep early tonight, drink lots of water, and expend my excess emotional energy thinking up evil games for Babyduck’s hen’s night.

 

Nyeh nyeh nyehhh….