Anyways, I was trying to organize the photos from the wedding when I realized that unlike most brides, I was lucky enough to have had more than one wedding gown. Maybe this is not so strange in Asia, where multiple dress changes are de riguer. But then again, those are usually due to the fact that people rent these dresses from a bridal salon and the packages often include one wedding gown and several evening gowns for the reception. This bridezilla tweaked the norm a little by having more wedding gowns (read: “the White Dress”) than evening gowns. Not really the most practical outcome, but heeee, whatcha gonna do, hey. And I managed to experience quite a few different silhouttes, fabrics and styles too, so in a way, it was one giant bridal fashion experiment for me. Can anything be more perfect than that?

So here’s the line-up:

White satin drop-waisted ballgown with silver and gold embroidery and beading on the bodice and hem,  puffy underskirts, the works…from Aru Bridal:

Cream-coloured silk tricotine cross-over style “Goddess” dress from JCrew, with a deep V-neck, spaghetti straps, A-line skirt with a small train. Seen in a previous post. Worn during the civil ceremony in Singapore.

Chinese wedding dress: the traditional “kwa” from House of Etiquette; more pictures in this post.

Custom-made, vintage inspired lace dress in antique cream, fit & flare silhoutte with godets in the skirt. Worn in the morning church ceremony and brunch reception.

Fit & flare, trumpet silhouette champagne dress with pewter embroidery, detachable cap sleeves and corset back. The “Gatsby” by Maggie Sottero, purchased from the US. Worn at the evening reception and ball together with my Gatsby-inspired feathered headdress.

You’d think that oughtta be enough for one person. But nope. I had such a great time at the wedding, that I’ve decided to wear white every anniversary. The best thing about that? I would be able to write about lots and lots more white/off-white/beige/cream/ivory/everything in between dresses! All appropriate for second weddings, beach weddings, garden weddings, etc.

Well, the first one is coming up very soon, so watch this space!

It’s been a busy, dreamy 7 months post-wedding, and yes, I have been guilty of not generating a single post in all that time. I figure most people would understand, new bride and all. Much as I am enjoying this new marriage thing, I feel just a teeny bit sad about no longer being that wide-eyed, slightly insane, fizzy bride-to-be anymore. Actually, Mr. Panda thinks I still am, and that’s pretty scary. Hehe.

In fact, I’ve taken bridezillaism to another level because I’ve been trying to gently and subtly introduce the idea of getting married again, to Mr. Panda. In my own inimitable way of course. ["Darling, would you like some ketchup with that? Do you want another drink? How about another wedding, this time outdoors? Wouldn't that be FUN, huh?"]

The last time I segued down that road he looked aghast and positively horror-struck. I can’t think why. It’s not like he put in any work at all for the last one anyway. *sniff*

So until I manage to soften up (I’m whispering wedding suggestions to him when he’s sleep-talking these days…will let you know if that works), I get my kicks from watching “Say YES to the Dress” on cable. I must confess I still stop by the magazine vendors and flip through the latest bridal magazines and usually have to force myself to walk away without buying one. I guess this means two things at least; that I had the most amazing time at my own wedding, thanks to the love of many, and I really, REALLy like weddings. Mr. Panda says if I like them, I should continue to blog about them as a hobby. So…here I am! Bridezilla is BACK!

I shall also pull in bits and pieces about life in general (married life will undoubtedly feature in many posts)…and thus this humble blog-space is reborn to take on the many facets of Princess (Mrs) Panda’s life.

But first, a post-mortem on everything wedding!

Let’s start with the absolutely DREAMY montage that Yang from Substance Films created for us. It took him 7 months to do it, but I reckon it’s worth it. Watch & weep, my friends. And note the gorgeous sunset we have in beautiful Sabah. You’ll see scenes with my vibrant traditional kwa and matching embroidered shoes, my vintage lace gown, my Maggie Sottero “Gatsby” dress, and my lovely vintage feathered headdress! *swoon*

And then we got the pictures back from our AD photographer, Louis Pang. And they still make me misty-eyed.

Here I am, goofing around with Nana-Bear, my gorgeous & brainy pal who flew all the way from Singapore with her boo to share our lovely day!

My lovely scarlet, embroidered shoes. And they’re really comfortable too.

My grandmother. She’s a fabulous 80 year old Shanghainese woman who was a real diva and beauty in her day. Lucky gene pool I’ve got!

My Maid of Honour Sarah, praying with me before the arrival of my groom.

My sisters made the guys “write” a love letter for me with a bunch of food on a plate. And these were the results.

Look at Sylvia’s look of greed!

Grandma made the baby shoes herself. A symbol of many kids to come.

I had the most fabulous time. I married a wonderful man, in the sight of God and all our beloved family and friends. Who could ask for more?

Well, some things we’ll keep close to our hearts. For now. But I can tell you that one of the things that drew us together was our mutual love for all things beautiful, literary, poetic, imaginative, creative, idealistic and magical. We bonded over mutual superlatives on the sheer genius of ‘The Chronicles of Narnia”, he waxed lyrical over everything ever written by Tolkien (yes, even the books that never made it to the silver screen like his collection of mythopoeic works, ‘The Silmarillion’) while I confessed to a girl-crush on Liv Tyler as an incandescent Arwen Evenstar (only somehow in my epic fantasies, I was her )

Fast forward to our wedding two years later, we decided to sprinkle little touches of what  makes us tick without being over the top about it. Something we would both recognize and appreciate, a subtle reference rather than a theme per se. Sort of like a secret handshake  

I had a good time blogging about how we would dot (not pepper!) the reception with elements inspired by LOTR.   

We began with inserting the LOTR soundtrack, Enya’s ethereal “May It Be” in one of the tracks. 

Then Viv & I worked together to put together the perfect LOTR wedding invitation suite.

No bells or whistles, nothing over the top, because I was aiming for classic, understated elegance with a hint of what is to come. We had the maps, the table names, the little flags.

Along the way changes had to be made…I couldn’t find a cupcake-maker in Kota Kinabalu at the last minute, so the flags ended up being on slices of wedding cake instead. Well…gotta roll with the punches and work with what ya got! The colour had to be tweaked because nobody knows how to do the fairy woodland decor back in my old home-town. But in the end, I was really pleased with the vibrant palette, and the parents were happy with it too. (Red = auspicious!)

Pictures from Louis Pang aren’t out yet; these are pictures from a lovely couple at our church, Lai-Har & Richard, and also from various friends’ cameras.

Our ‘Thank you” flags have our monogram on one side and a little thank you note on the other!

Well that’s all I have so far…our tribute to C.S. Lewis & Tolkien! In a way…our matchmakers.

More pictures to come as soon as I get them.

Unless you’re here for the first time, you probably know how I HEART kwas in a big way. Cheongsams or qipaos you can wear any old time, even as evening wear to one of your bridal events. Well, depends on who you are. If you’re Maggie Cheung, you should probably wear them all the time, even to the local NTUC. (Give them ‘Ah Peks’ a treat bah kan.)  If you’re Rosie O’Donnell I’d say stick with elaborately & ingenuously structured gowns that can accommodate two pairs of Spanx underneath. And try to draw the focus upwards by making sure you have stunning hair & makeup. (Well, if you’re Rosie O’Donnell, the attention will be on the volume of your voice anyway, so this is a moot point. I’m just saying.)

Well the first few kwas I tried on with Babyduck next to me, were a complete disaster. I was utterly crushed since I had my heart set on wearing a kwa. Grand visions of myself in the majestic embroidered red garment somehow didn’t translate to reality very well. I’ve since discovered that the secret is in the FIT. With a loose boxy garment like the kwa, the right fit is really important. This is quite counter-intuitive, since most people think the exact opposite, ie. ‘Oh, it’s not figure-hugging, just a loose shapeless thing, so anyone can wear it & look halfway decent, never mind about the fit!’ BIG mistake.

The Chinese have perfected the art of enhancing allure through concealment. The secret is in what is revealed. A slender swan-like neck, delicate fair wrists, the mystery of what lies under pounds of embroidered beads & gold threads, and always, always, the focus is on the face & hair. The shell-like ear, the doe-eyes, the cherry blossom lips, the creamy skin tone. [Note: I'm not being perasan here, this is all referring to what the Chinese like to emphasise, not to qualities I presume to possess. Although my neck is not bad.]

Why is fit important here? Well the first kwa I tried on was gorgeous with 3-D type embroidery of dragons & phoenixes. Really an awesome piece of work. But it was too loose around my neck (swan-like neck, gone), too tight across my chest (illusion of a tidy figure, kaput), waaaaay too short (the art of concealment = beefy lower calves shouldn’t be on display), and the top had a typical square hem (not flattering on curves because I looked like a pillar in the palace of the Forbidden City!)

I almost gave up on the kwa right then & there. Thank God for JM, my BFF who encouraged me to keep searching. I finally found my dream kwa in The House of Etiquette. Now this one had none of the problems the first one had (especially after Angela, the sales assistant, so kindly added three layers of beaded fringe to the hem of the skirt!) AND the top had a scalloped tapering hem which kinda “broke” the square pillar illusion! I was so pleased I got it on the spot. It has been such a great investment, thanks in part to the wonderful service I had there. (That Angela’s a star!) And most importantly, Mr. Panda just loved it! And I got to wear something every Chinese bride only gets to wear once in her lifetime.

And here are some of the pictures taken from friends’ cameras:

Waiting for the young uns to serve us tea!

Putting on a necklace for my god-daughter.

Alone in my room, waiting for Mr. panda to arrive. (Doncha just love those shoes too?)

Serving tea to my parents.

Being handsomely rewarded for my efforts!

Emotional & bedecked with jewellery. The fate of most brides at tea ceremonies!

View from the side! Check out how short the skirt would’ve been for me, had it not been for the three layers of beaded fringe! Did I mention I was 5’10 & Mr. Panda is a giant at 6′?

The pictures from the photographer aren’t out yet. I sure hope he has better pictures of the kwa! 

Oh, and one more thing. Try not to have a hairstyle that hugs your head too much. The kwa is quite an overwhelming piece of garment and having too flat or severe a hairstyle will make you look like a large pin with a very small head. You want an updo (NEVER wear a kwa with your hair down. EVER.) but a fluffy kinda updo. Mine was PERFECT for the kwa. Traditional, classic, full & soft. (Hey, I did do some things right!) So try to do your hair like mine, and you’d be good to go! Don’t go for red flowers; go for something that would complement the beading without clashing with the colours, or going “matchy-matchy”. Pink is good. White is funereal. Orchids are just plain wrong (too tropical). Yam roses look the best! (But of course, I could be biased.)

I hope y’all will take Bridezilla’s advice and consider the kwa as your tea outfit of choice. My biggest regret? That this was a rental. Had I enough time, I would’ve ordered one to keep, no question about it. How cool would it be to pass this fabulous, culturally significant piece of wearable art down through your generations?

Mrs. Princess Panda:  Sure, ok! *beams*

Mr. Panda:  *suspicious*

Mrs. PP:  You can be the Head no problem. And I can be the Neck!

Mr. P: *blinks at me*

Mrs. PP: So you see, I’ll be right below you…but I will determine your course. *smirk*

Mr. P: …….!!!!

Mrs. PP:  *feeling pleased with myself*

Mr. P:  *long pause*  You know baby, people never talk about slitting the head do they? It’s always ‘slitting the throat/neck’. And do you know why?

Mrs. PP:  *glare at Mr. Panda*

Mr. P: *pats my bristling head tenderly*….It’s because when you slit the neck, the head dies. Just like if anything happens to you, I’m finished.

Mrs. PP: *melts* Awww….ok lah, you can determine our course too….*big hugs*

And THIS is how Mr. Panda rules the roost!

Well, the day has come & gone, so I feel quite righteous about putting up pictures of the dress & shoes!  

For those of you just joining me on here, let me just fill you in quickly; I love vintage but I’m not built to fit into a gown for a 5’2 willow stem with an 18 inch waist [Note: Vintage clothing is really sized for petite dollies. Must be due to malnutrition from all the wars]. I also didn’t fancy wearing musty-smelling clothing or having to put in the work necessary to make a vintage lace gown wearable. So the solution would be to recreate a vintage-inspired lace gown which could become an heirloom piece in the future. 

The key to it is finding the best piece of lace you can afford. I picked a tea-stained Chantilly lace from France, poured through hundreds of pictures of dresses from the annals of the past as well as modern reproductions by designers who excel in working with lace, and chose a design I felt represented me and sort of flattered my body type. So here are the results!

I’m a bit squinty-eyed here, but this is a good shot of the scalloped neckline.

The back of the dress is left bare and unlined on the upper torso so that the delicacy of the lace can be shown the best advantage. Another way to make the lace ‘pop’ would be to use lining that’s just slightly darker or more nude in tone, which is not what I chose to do here.

The view from the front!

The back view.

The train of my dress. Try not to get the front of the dress too long; lace snags easily!

Having my make-up touched up.

I had to make sure that the crystals on my feet were non-catch crystals so that my shoes wouldn’t rip my hem.

Other than the quality of the lace, the workmanship of the gown is pretty important too. I managed to get a good tailor in Singapore who would put up with my micro-management. The gown wasn’t perfect, but I felt beautiful in it, and it was exactly the kind of dress I wanted to be married in.

Wearing a slip-on lace dress like this means your foundation garment is really important, since there wouldn’t be any corsetry under the gown! Remember to wear your foundation garment to the fittings. Unfortunately I was in such a mad rush, we left off the bustier and went completely bare under the dress! (Too many hooks to manage in too short a time.) So this Bridezilla had to remember to suck in most of the morning.

Lastly, the key to creating an heirloom is in how you clean & store it. Make sure you have it professionally cleaned as soon as you possibly can, and then wrap your dress in muslin, put it in the dress-cover, and store it in a dark cool place. DON’T hang it up! Just roll it with cotton sheets and store it in your closet or under the bed. Make sure that you take it out to air every year or so, and then refold it differently so that there won’t be any lines permanently etched in the fold.

And that’s how you create your very own vintage-inspired heirloom lace gown!

All I can say is that I’ve never felt more loved or special. I’ve possibly never cried so much either.

In the end, it wasn’t about the flowers, or the table settings, or even looking beautiful. It was all about the love of the people close to us, the joy & the blessings that poured forth from those who care for us, and those we hold so dear in our hearts. Funny, how we can spend a whole year on table seating cards and details that nobody else would remember…but at the final countdown, it was all about relationships & people. So I can honestly say, that the best money spent for the wedding, was on ‘angpows’ and gifts for our loved ones.

There were 90 special people invited for the morning ceremony & brunch reception, and 600 for the evening reception. So I had Yang from Susbtance Films do an express video highlights of the morning affair to be shown in the evening. That way our 600 guests wouldn’t miss out too much. He did a gorgeous job of capturing the feel of the morning. Watching the express highlights still makes me tear up.

Princess Panda had the most blessed & beautiful wedding imaginable. God’s greatest blessing to me is in the wealth of love He was showered so abundantly upon me. Every face I saw that morning was the face of someone I loved. Can you imagine being able to look around you, and only see the faces of those you love, some that had flown from so far away to be there for you? I could not have asked for a more perfect wedding!

So here it is; a short clip of the happiest day of my life….

The day was not without its dramas; two hours before the event, when my caterers Orange Clove were trying to set up, I got word that the room wasn’t ready and all the existing furniture was still in there. Management office promised me they would have them removed on time, but when I went to ask the concierge, she said it was “against Management rules” to have the existing furniture removed. WHAAAA….???? I told them that was IMPOSSIBLE since I had Management approval, but unfortunately Management was off since it was late Saturday afternoon. I got increasingly more enraged while Concierge told me she did not have their number, blah blah blah. That’s when I chucked a truly spectacular Bridezilla hissy fit that Mr. Panda says they’re still talking about till today.

I’m not proud about losing my cool. But then again…it was TWO hours before the event, and they pulled that stunt on me. So here’s a Bridezilla tip: ALWAYS have things in writing and ALWAYS make sure you have a number to call, because anything bad that can happen will probably happen, when it comes to event planning. Especially if the event is your own wedding.

Alas, Miss Concierge was no match for Bridezilla & in the end, the security guards were despatched to move the furniture into storage so my guys can begin setting up. But I was so emotionally affected by that outburst that I burst into tears so many times. Thank God for Babyduck, who took over as wedding planner extraordinaire aka La General! She took matters in hand, and from the time she stepped in, I calmed down & let myself be managed. So here’s a shout-out to her….MUAXX!

This is me being made up by Rina Sim. To be perfectly objective, her work was good; Mr. Panda thought the makeup looked gorgeous, and I liked the hair also, even though it fell apart towards the later part of the evening. Nice lady, meticulous with her work, good results. On the negative side? She was about 30 minutes late, which isn’t a big deal but when tensions are running high, it made for one very stressed out bride, since things tend to snowball a bit down the line. We ended up having to push back the program, the guests were hungry & restless, and I was out of my mind with stress, so much so I can honestly say I didn’t enjoy the ROM event. I’d say it was due more to my riotous emotions than anything else though. All I could remember was feeling really frantic. I got a text message from her around 10pm asking whether there were any complaints about the makeup but I couldn’t reply since my phone fell into some water & wasn’t working properly. The next day I received another couple of messages asking for feedback, so I’d say she’s someone who cares about doing good work. I told her the makeup was great but the delay really created problems. She apologised and said she couldn’t find the place. I didn’t lose my temper at all (one Bridezilla meltdown was enough). We’re cool now, and I’m sure it was just a one-off event. In retrospect, sometimes things just happen and we get behind on schedule; the important thing is to prepare for that by building in sufficient time to accommodate potential delays. I’d definitely recommend getting Rina to do your makeup but do make sure that you build in plenty of buffer time and give clear instructions on the direction.

Our beautiful wedding cake was by Pink Vanilla. In order to have it “match” my hand bouquet & the decor, we made sure it was decorated by the florist, so basically the baker delivered a white, tiered cake & that was that. Super-yummy chocolate cake under all that white cream icing, but even though it was a pretty cake, it was also super TINY! My mom wanted to laugh when she saw how singularly unimpressive it was in terms of size. “Aiyohhhh….it looks like a toy cake!!” Mr. Panda & I agreed. So here’s another Bridezilla tip: Don’t order according to the number of people; order according to the weight! if you’re going to have a cake at all, it should be large enough to make an impact during the cake-cutting ceremony. If that means having too much cake vis-a-vis your guests, I guess you’ll just have to suck it up with eating wedding cake till the end of the year!

Incidentally, the cake was yummy. But Mr. Panda, despite being a “chocolate king”, somehow much preferred the carrot & cream cheese cake Babyduck made for our ROM! (Actually Babyduck takes orders now, so just click on the link to her blog and contact her if you want any orders!)

Our florist was Irene, a freelancer from All Things Floral. She fulfilled my dream of having lavender roses & an antique/vintage feel to my flowers by wrapping a long piece of lace around the base of my bouquet. She was also lovely to work with, and very creative and accommodating. Mr. Panda was very pleased with the flowers, although I do confess that I was expecting something bigger and more lavish for the floral centrepiece on the ROM table. I also didn’t expect the centrepieces on the other tables to consist of ONE flower in a cup! Still, flowers are expensive, and the overall effect was quite nice so we were ok with everything. I’d recommend Irene as well, because she is a creative sweetie who really goes the extra mile to make everything lovely for your wedding.  

Our event started with the Chinese tea ceremony for Mr. Panda’s parents and relatives first, since most of them would not be able to make it to our Kota Kinabalu wedding. I wore a ‘qun kwa’ from House of Etiquette and felt truly grand in it. Mr. Panda loved it on me so much that he asked me not to change out of it throughout the ROM! (I had to, of course, since JCREW was calling. ) 

Seriously, my decision to get this ‘qun kwa’ was one of the BEST decisions I ever made in this wedding. There is nothing quite like a ‘kwa’; if you’re Chinese and have a valid excuse to wear it, DON’T EVEN HESITATE! Mr. Panda thought I looked like a Chinese Empress in my ‘kwa’; and best of all, I felt like one. House of Etiquette provided such sterling service in the person of Angela, the sales assistant there. Every visit there has been fruitful and pleasant, and I really felt like she went out of her way to assist me. The shop has all kinds of goodies and is truly a one-stop shop for those wanting to purchase anything related to Chinese weddings. Six stars recommendation!!

My second dress is a simple ivory silk tricotine dress called the GODDESS from the JCREW bridal collection. We marched in to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, one of our favourite songs. Mr. Panda spent some time putting together a special track of our special songs ranging from the “Boom de ya dah” theme song from the Discovery Channel, to the Beijing Olympic song! The track was diverse, no doubt, but this was as personal as it got, because every song made us look up & grin at each other, sometimes mid-sentence. Every song triggered a special memory we shared. So looking back, it was another fantastic decision I hope every couple considers, especially if the event is quite small & informal like ours was.

I didn’t think I was going to become emotional during the signing ceremony, but it was hard to ignore the significance of that one signature! One swipe of that pen, and I had reached another milestone in my wonderful life, ascended into another role, that of wife.

With my mum in law and baby Rebecca, Mr. Panda’s brother’s baby.

Our photographer was Derrick Choo, who’s new to the business and the son of my mother in law’s school mate. He’s a humble man, lovely to work with & accommodating. His pictures are kinda pixelated and grainy as that’s his signature effect. That creates a lovely nostalgic effect which is what we both like. I’m pretty handy with the iPhoto editing functions on my Macbook as well, so anything I feel needs improvement I just edit the pictures myself. That’s a definite advantage because Derrick is into effects, and capturing the moment, but both Mr. Panda & I are also concerned about whether WE LOOK GOOD! So having the freedom and option to edit if you need to is a good skill to have! :-) Go look up Derrick. If you need a reliable, gentle photographer who’s a pleasure to work with, Derrick’s your guy.

One of the important takeaways from our ROM? The importance of having rehearsals. We didn’t have a single one for the ROM thinking it was too simple to warrant the bother. But never underestimate how stressful it can be when you haven’t had a dry-run and things don’t go according to what’s in your head. Mr. Panda & I decided right then & there, that for the wedding proper, we had to have a full-on rehearsal with everyone involved just to cut out the stress. It definitely makes a difference when people know what to do, and what to expect next. 

In the end, the ROM didn’t go perfectly, but it was still a meaningful little ceremony for us, and Mr. Panda’s parents were happily in their element, entertaining their relatives. We couldn’t have done it without Babyduck who was a champ throughout, down to dividing the leftovers among the security guards. (Now that’s a good coordinator; being able to see everything through to the end.)

And that was the start of our journey.

Many thanks for your patience; what with one wedding followed by another, followed by my drowning in paperwork & a general malaise from lack of bridezillaistic spasms in my day, I’ve been sadly absent. 

But! I’m back to stay! And hopefully I’ll be able to continue giving tips and tricks to y’all, having gone over to the other side of the wedding madness. After all, there’s more to a marriage than just a day of wine, roses, lace & kisses, glorious though it was. We’ll explore the ups & downs of (newly) married life together, you & I.

Here on end, many of the posts will be backdated just because I owe you so many! Here’s to helping you get up to speed:

1. ROM! Pictures to come

2. My wedding pictures & video! Yay!

3. Our first Chinese New Year as husband & wife.

You know, I never thought I’d actually do this. Sounds crazy huh. All this wedding planning, and I never really believed it would really, truly happen. I kept thinking some unexpected event was going to change our plans; cancellations, postponement, illness. I’m not exactly a teen bride (not far though! Tee-hee.) And I guess after you’ve waited this long to do the deed, sometimes you’re so set in your mind that it’ll never happen, that even when it does, you still can’t quite wrap your head around it.

That was my state of mind until roughly a week AFTER the wedding! But for now we’ve kinda settled into being husband & wife. And guess what…we haven’t changed. He’s still the same sweet ol’ Mr. Panda, and I’m still the goofy, high-strung drama queen. Marriage, they say, changes people & circumstances. I am happy to report that it doesn’t, not really, and not in the beginning at least, other than a loving intimacy & sense of security that wasn’t there before. 

Bottom-line, I liked being Mr. Panda’s girlfriend & fiancee, but I LOVE being Mr. Panda’s wife. There is no greater blessing than to be married to your best friend, who also happens to adore you. How lucky are we?

Watch this page! Will update you on the wedding next.

I owe y’all heaps of posts, which I promise I’ll fix as soon as I’m able. As of this moment, Princess Panda’s internal clock is still screwed up after the 36 hour travel from the US. Only an insane bridezilla would hit 8 airports & four time zones in six days only to return 48 hours before a wedding. What to do, people; I gotta work!

I had a really interesting trip. Stay tuned, you will want to read all about it! Lots of tips for long-haul travel. Coming up as soon as I get this particular show on the road.

Back to the ROM! The parents from both sides are in town. Get ready, people: there’s a Panda convention in town. So in about an hour’s time I’ll be picking my Mom & sister up from the hotel to go for a first meeting with Mr. Panda’s family. I am completely shocked at how blase I am about the whole thing. Possibly because my innards are still over the Atlantic/Pacific (??!?!) [Note: I sucked big time in Geography. Anyway it's some kind of big body of water lah.]

Will write more later. Just wanted to check in with everyone for now! More details about the ROM to come. But here’s a free Bridezilla tip before I disappear: If you’re intending to do some heavy travelling before your wedding…RECONSIDER. You’d want the days leading up to your big day to be lovely, leisurely and reflective. You don’t want to be stressed, tired, breaking out, cranky and jet-lagged. As it is, hours before the event, and my skin is still dry, my mind is numb & my body is craving sleep. Not the best way to face your ROM. Luckily I get another shot at this next week.

When next I write, I shall be Mrs. Princess Panda, at least legally & officially. I doubt I would feel married in my heart. Not until the actual ceremony would it be signed, sealed & delivered for me. But as of last night, I was already feeling the pangs of my rapidly disappearing girlhood. I hung out with Mom, and felt an unbearable sense of sadness. I shall never more be her little girl, in her home, protected and vulnerable. Instead I shall be taking my place in the helm of my own ship, whose captain is valiant but certainly not maternal. Friends, noone will ever love you the way your mother does. Some things you can’t repay; you can only pay it forward. Life’s like that. Perhaps I should just celebrate my good fortune; to have known love, and still have it, in rich abundance.

Wish me luck!

Signing off as ‘Miss’ for the last time….

Princess Panda

So what do I do when I don’t have spare cash? In true Princess fashion, I make up a wish list of the top 10 things I would buy if I had the money. Now these, don’t have to be too expensive; they just have to be desirable to me for the moment!

Everyone’s gotta have goals in life. Can I help it if mine tend to be retail-driven? *LOL* Perhaps I never will get around to buying it. But not for lack of dreaming trying.

So here they are in no particular order; the coveted items on Princess Panda’s wish list!

1.  iPhone 3G

A mini-computer in one compact, good-looking instrument, this baby will help Princess Panda stay on line even during the nasty bouts of IBS! (As long as there is wireless connection in the bathroom, I think.) But gosh, connectivity does not come cheap! *sigh* The heck of it is, my 13 year old sister has one! (Thanks to Momzilla). *pistachio with envy*

2.  Louis Vuitton Azur Speedy in 30 or 35

I love the simplicity of the Speedy, but I need a size that is appropriate for my frame, which means a Speedy in 30 or 35. Abby’s Mummy has one (but I don’t know what size it is) which I think is way too small for my needs. This colour is bright & beautiful & the bag is infinitely versatile. What more could I ask for?

3.  Louis Vuitton Damier Trevi in GM

Gotta love my LVs. I’ve been eyeing the Trevi since I saw Babyduck’s stylish sister toting it about. I think it’s stunning in an understated manner, and the zippered top & sling make it ideal for travel, work, or when you just want to look classically cool. Love it!

4.  Ferragamo “Varina” ballet flats in red patent and black kid.

Ooooh, have loved & lusted after Varinas since they came out! I love that they come in “wide”, “medium” & “narrow” depending on your feet. They’re so Audrey Hepburn; feminine without being too over the top in terms of the frou-frou factor, chic without being too avant-garde, classic without being too staid. I’ve seen all the colours but I think every girl would need a classic black pair in kid leather, and THIS girl would take on the deep red patent ones for good measure!

5.  O.P.I. nail colour in “Infatuation” and “Chapel of Love”.

“Infatuation” is the loveliest shade of creamy peach which is not so colourless and nude as to be boring (why bother wearing nail polish if you’re going for the overly nude look? Might as well just buff & go!) and neither is it dark enough to be garish for day. Well with nail polish it really depends on your skin; I’m so happy with this colour that I’m tempted to consider this for my toes on my wedding day. I have them on my fingers right now, and the peachy shade makes me so happy I barely got any work done today! “Chapel of Love” is the most tongue-in-cheek shade of pink ever! Again, a cheerful shade that is not too over the top, or too “aunty”. Perfect for pretty tootsies.

Ya, I know, how expensive can nail-polish be right? The point is to covet & dream; and since when did money become the sole determinant for desirability?

6. Chanel lipstick in Brilliant 09 (from the Rouge Allure range) and in Euphoria 160 (from the Hydrabase range).

I posted about these lipsticks before. I think they shall be my signature shades from now on! I pray they don’t discontinue the colours or I’ll be hopping mad!

7.  Chanel classic quilted bag in black kid leather.

Every style-maven/fashionista/bridezilla worth her salts should have one in their closet. It goes with everything, and looks perennially beautiful, AND you can pass it down to your daughter, because a classic never goes out of style!

8.  A rustic house in the mountains.

This has been a dream of mine since forever. I love the cool fresh mountain air, and the absolute quiet. I also love the look & feel of this house. Pandas belong in rustic wooden mansions; I’d give up a year’s supply of bamboo for this. No, wait; a lifetime’s supply!

9.  A 4 bedroom condominium in The Sail @ Marina Bay.

I’m renting a place there now, and it’s a DREAM to live in. Clinic, dry-cleaners, grocery store, nail place and lovely restaurants in the basement & ground-floor area; connected to Raffles MRT station, with a taxi stand right in front, and a new park constructed across for the dog to run in. State of the art gym, six swimming pools, beautiful function areas (which is why we’re having our ROM in one!) And we walk to work. If I could help it, I’d never want to live anywhere else.

10.  A year’s worth of free massage at the Chinese massage place in Club Street and the little stall in Tg Pagar MRT! Bliss!

So there you go; some of my coveted treasures as I begin the year full of dreams, empty of change. Soon, my pretty *rubs hands in anticipation* …soon…….

With the reluctant help of Mr. Panda, I’m going to de-mystify the whole ROM process for all of you looking to sign your lives away!

First step: Get thee to a computer terminal & log on! If you’re not a Muslim (you’d have to go to a separate website if you are), and you’re doing this in Singapore, then the site you want to navigate to is the ROM website.

Second step: Once you’re in the website armed with your intended date, click on the link that tells you the earliest and latest date by which you can file your application for marriage. You can read all sorts of useful information on the marriage process while you’re on the site. 

Third step: Now armed with the dates, you click on this link to get to a list of licenced solemnisers. Try to secure their commitment as soon as you can; I’ve been on several wedding sites with brides & grooms frantically searching for solemnisers to perform their wedding especially on a ‘hot’ date.

Fourth step: Once you secure the solemniser’s commitment, make an appointment to meet him/her. Bring this form with you and have it filled out. You’ll need this form when you register your application online.

Fifth step:  Get your two witnesses’ Identity Card (photocopy will do) and/or Passport (for foreigners). Your witnesses don’t have to be Singaporeans (which is why my Momzilla will be one of the witnesses!)

Sixth step: Secure your venue for the ROM! You need to have the full address of the venue. Bear in mind that this address will be in your actual Marriage Certificate, so choose wisely. This is why, if you solemnise your union at “Ah Fook Karaoke Bar & Zhi Char Stall”, you will be stuck with this in your marriage certificate. Forever.

Seventh step: Congratulations on having made it this far! Now you can go back to the ROM website and begin your application proceedings. You’ll need the JP licence number (please refer to the consent form he filled out earlier) and your witnesses’ identity details. You’ll also need to pay a token amount to process your application.

Eighth step: So now you’ve filed everything, and your application has been successful. Now what? Well, now they give you a date on which you have to pop by the ROM with your intended, armed with your original Identity documents, copies of your witnesses’ identity documents, your JP consent form, and your little print-out which you get after your online application. The purpose for this visit is to (a) Verify the facts against the documents; and (b) get the couple to swear and sign a Statutory Declaration declaring all kinds of truth such as the fact that he’s never been married before, etc. Usually at this stage you pick up your marriage certificate which will be signed on the day of your ROM in front of your JP. In our case, we couldn’t because we were a week early for the verification meeting (since Princess Panda will be travelling to New York for work during the time of the initial pick-up date!). So Mr. Panda will have to come down to ROM by himself to pick up the marriage cert on 19 January, when Princess Panda is out playing in Barney’s, Saks, Nordstrom, Tiffany & Co. the dirty snowbanks of New York! 

So it was at Step Eight that Mr. Panda & I made our first visit to ROM!

Here it is, our first look at the only government building in Singapore swarming with almost identical ladies in white bubble frocks dragging their sweaty husbands in their wake.

Mr. Panda…the bear that never can pull a proper camera face when called upon to do so. *sigh* Here he is giving his best ‘Ah Beng’ impersonation.

And then, to make matters worse, he found a fellow wildlife friend. Here is my Panda trying to pull the same startled expression as Mr. Ostrich.

The entrance of the Registry of Marriages is always packed with couples having their photos taken. This is the ONLY couple I’ve seen where the bride isn’t in a short white bubble-skirted frock. I’ll be posting on that bewildering trend when I have a bit more time.

We pull a number from the security guard, and Mr. Panda’s given some forms for us to fill, along with an instruction note in colour! Very organised of them.

And here’s the form!

And here is Princess Panda doing her bit for the unit!

When they called our number, we went to an officer who had us go through all the numbers, addresses & other details with a fine-tooth comb. A good process; these are the details that will be enshrined in your marriage certificate ever after. And then Mr. Panda had to swear he’s not a bigamist! (Among other things lah.)

And then it was my turn! (Pardon the slightly crazed expression.)

And voila! Done! Here we are, just about to leave the ROM, all happy & shiny and chubby.

So…was this guide helpful?

I spent Sunday in a deep, deep slumber which took up most of the day. Woke up with a slight hangover, had something to eat, then took some pictures of the loot I had from my evening of mayhem!

Made a few observations also.

For starters, sophisticated 30-something women celebrate this particular milestone quite differently from rambunctious, spirited fun-loving girls in their 20s. I’ve attended two hen’s nights in the space of three months and they’re pretty different. Babyduck’s celebration was totally fun & activity-driven, with lap-dancing lessons, lychee martinis, and  games. Mine was in an upscale restaurant with a personalised menu, champagne cocktails, Tatler-worthy chicks in Louboutins and Herve Leger dresses dishing sex-advice to the novice bride-to-be, and then adjourning to a Retrobar in The Cannery for champagne on ice and music from the 90s. (Gosh, I’m still trying to get over the fact that I now have to go to a RETROBAR to hear music from my golden era. Just shoot me already.)

Most of my girls couldn’t make it because they’re out of town at the time. But the girls that did go, really made my night. Much love to Andria & Nana for organising a really fun X-rated night to mark the end of my singlehood. There were so many moments when I felt as though I was on the set of “Sex in the City”, only with more glamourous ladies & raunchier conversation. Well, let me clarify that the topics weren’t so much titillating as they were, FRANK & err, no-holds barred. I’m sure our poor waiter could testify to that (he was seen running out of the room many times during the night only to slink back in when we took pity on him & talked about the weather). Primary difference between hens in their 20s & hens in their 30s? The 20s bunch are more activity-driven & rambunctious; the 30s are more sophisticated & cerebral…but both groups sure know how to have fun!

Ahhh…and what would a hen’s night be without the gifts? [Note: I put up some pictures on Facebook & took them down again rather quickly, since some were not exactly appropriate for public viewing.] Here are a few pictures from our night.

We had dinner at a private room at Kish Restaurant in 9 Rochester, just the six of us. We were joined by more after that at Yello Jello Retrobar at The Cannery. [Pictures at Yello Jello in Part II soon to come.]

That’s NanaBear with me. She’s an MD PHD Scientist from Harvard doing oncology research and on a professor track at NUS while practising medicine at the same time. Brainy, much? She also put her pretty hands to good use and made the little white top-hat hairband currently perched on my black tresses to mark me as Ze Bride! 

All the lingerie came courtesy of EeLeen, who’s got me uncovered, lingerie-wise….red, black & white!

Apart from the lingerie there are some pretty nifty toys too. I must remember not to lose the instruction manual though.

The girls got me something that looked like a tube of Anna Sui lipstick but comes in three speeds & can fit into my purse! (Now why I would carry this in my purse is beyond me.)

And this, this, blue thing…I thought it was a tube of deodorant! But I was promptly corrected. This is apparently the best lube around. I tell ya, I’m totally clueless about stuff like that. But it’s good to know that if I ever need to oil my bicycle *nudge nudge wink wink* I can always reach for this baby.

We had a truly divine dinner at Kish Restaurant, 9 Rochester, in a private room with candles glittering in white birdcage holders.

I really got a kick out of seeing my name on the menu!

After a scrumptious dinner we all adjourned to Yello Jello Retrobar for champagne & music. I over-indulged & ended up being ‘tekan’ by the girls in one corner drinking water non-stop. Charmaine hauled me off to the ladies whereby I greeted everyone with dazzling jocularity & announced that I was going to ‘pee like an elephant!’ 

Unfortunately, I wasn’t so far gone as to forget about this the next day. *sigh*

Being the quintessential good girl, I have virtually no alcohol tolerance, with the resulting nett effect of being a hopelessly cheap drunk (ie. 3 glasses of champagne will do.) By the second glass I’m doing the Santana dance with virtual strangers & giggling at everything. By the 3rd I can barely keep my balance, and end up almost going into the guys’ bathroom (luckily Nana & co. redirected me).

More adventures include hopeful Caucasian men looking to be my ‘last fling before the ring’. Bridezilla tip for you here: If you’re going to have a hen’s night, make sure you have strong, assertive, smart girls with you and prep them before hand. I told mine, I want to have some safe harmless fun tonight, but I’m bad with alcohol, and I DON’T wish to be pawed at by random men or do anything bad that would hurt Mr. Panda so just watch me. And for the entire night, I had glasses of water put in my hand, ma ladies escorting me to the bathroom, girls being pretty rough on the men who try to get too near (I distinctly remember Vinda pulling off an arm & throwing it back at the poor Frenchman who was holding onto my elbow.)

All in all, it was a colourful night. As Nana put it….’O what a night… Frenchmen, Junior vibrators, Frenchmen after JoJo, trannies and bikers after Charmaine, freeflow buckets of champagne, and 6Es sporting a bag full of thongs.’ Yep. Think that about sums it up.

More pictures to come in Part II!

Now I’ve tried paring down the number of cards, but most really are indispensable though. ID, driver’s licence, foreign employment pass, two credit cards, three bank cards, Le-Le’s Pet Lover’s Centre card, frequent flyer cards, insurance cards, and various discount cards for shopping!

I’m also one of those crazy women who like to hold onto receipts with the vain idea that I would eventually do a structured accounting or balancing system for my expenses that month! That’s about as likely as our dog ordering takeout in French. 

So in essence, I need a BIG wallet. And I need it to have picture compartments so I can put my loved ones’ faces in there. And a zippered coin compartment. And multiple card compartments. And compartments for bills, receipts, notes. And I need it all in a streamlined, elegant design and made out of durable but luxe leather preferably in an unusual shade. AND I need it quite urgently, because I almost lost my cards a few times (they fall all over the place in my bag, or outside as I walk, because the card compartments are too loose).

Guess what? The search is finally over! *yay!*

I was shopping for a birthday pressie for Andria last night and stumbled upon a large wallet with ALL (yes, ALL!) of my criteria in one lovely package! Braun Buffel’s newest range in gold calf leather. I’ve never purchased anything from Braun Buffel before, but Mr. Panda bought a BB wallet last year, and it is lovely, durable & suits him perfectly! So here it is, my new large baby!

The leather is soft but hardy. It’s amazing, really. And it’s the loveliest shade of champagne gold! Can’t really tell from the picture, but there’s a gleam to it, which is really nice & classy without being garish.

Double zippered compartments!

One zippered compartment has most of the card slots and …*gasp*…a picture slot!

The other zippered compartment has two sections for bills, and more card slots on the inside flaps, divided by a zippered coin compartment in the centre!

So you see, it has everything I need, in a nice, simple package! And the price wasn’t too bad either, considering I was looking at Louis Vuitton purses (the best ones didn’t have a picture compartment, sigh) etc. Get this piece for about $230. This makes a really good travel wallet too, because you get to slip in different currencies in all the different sections. And there is a total of 32 card slots!! Amazing, no?

I love my new wallet! Been pining for the perfect wallet for years. The only downside to this is the fact that it won’t fit nicely into a tiny clutch because of the size. I guess it’s something I have to put up with; you don’t get 32 card slots in a tiny purse! But I rarely use tiny bags unless it’s a for an evening affair, in which case all I need is a credit card, some dollar notes, a lipstick and compact. 

*happy*

I put the time to good use and finished doing up the kid’s play-pails for the wedding brunch reception. I did a mock-up and post a few days earlier, sans the glue and other stuff. Here are all six play-pails with a colourful smock, magic markers, non-toxic glue & kiddy scissors in each pail. I’ll put some coloured paper in the centre of the table, and lots of lollipops & chocolates in the pails, and finally a little butterfly name-tag perched on each pail, and that’ll be that!

Cheerful splash of colour, eh?

Galvanized pails are $2 each from Ikea I bought rolls of ribbon & tied them around the pails with a bit of double-sided tape to hold them in place. Then I just stuff everything in the pail!

To learn how to make the butterfly name tags, click on this post!

I’m not usually so foul-mouthed, but understand that I was smack in the middle of road rage. (Actually had a migraine from suppressing the mad.)

Anyway, I was so pleased with the ring that it put me in a good mood again. I’m such a girl.

So here it is!

The front bit of the ring. The curved edge accommodates the engagement ring.

Side-view. Detail of the scalloping on the side seen here.

The back view of the ring. I had the ring designed in such a way that it could be worn alone and still look pretty. The scalloping makes the curve look like part of the design. Or, I could turn it around and wear it like a regular eternity ring! 

I can even wear it the other way around like an arch or a crown!

Worn with the engagement ring!

I’m absolutely loving my wedding set! Pictures do not do it justice at all; the diamonds are very bling & high quality. Colourless. And it’s also very comfortable on the finger, although I must confess, nothing beats my beloved Bezet ring for comfort. 

So…is Princess Panda a totally over the top bride or what? TWO wedding rings, one plain for humble & home use (and worn on the right hand on the days when I’m wearing the wedding set), the other bling band for going out. And I’m loving both!

YAY!

I’ve got Abby, my 3 year old niece & flower-girl, Oli, my 5 year old god-daughter & flower-girl, Josh, my 3 year old god-son & ring-bearer, and possibly another three kiddies between the ages of 3-5. My priority is to keep them entertained during the brunch reception, with lots of colouring & art work, maybe card-making, and give their parents a chance to mingle and have something to eat. 

So I went off to Ikea & bought some pretty galvanized pails which I decorated with a ribbon, and a little butterfly with each child’s name painted on it. Got brightly coloured artist smocks to cover their clothes, and magic pens, colourful paper. I’m going to put in some glue, maybe kiddy scissors, lollipops, chocolate drops. The finished pail should look something like this:

I reckon the only things missing from here are the scissors, glue & candy. 

I also need to get plastic protective brightly coloured table-cloth.

I’ve only prepared for six 3-5 year old kids because those are the only ones invited. Any unexpected kid will just have to squeeze next to his or her parents because I reckon guests should tell us if they’re bringing really young children. The other children are probably older, or are babe in arms. The other four seats are for adults supervising their child. And they’ll all be seated at “The Shire”! (For hobbit-sized guests, geddit??)

Wish the adults had thought of this during the time I was a kid and had to attend adult functions.

I wouldn’t say that our wedding is child-friendly exactly. We are not specifically inviting every kid we know to the event, only close relatives and those on duty. For these pint-sized guests, every courtesy should be extended to them as you would, to your adult guests. In fact, I specifically asked that the top layer of my wedding cake be made of light fluffy, creamy rich chocolate cake which will be served to my kiddies. The lower layers have whole nuts and pretty solid stuff in them which may not be safe for the really young ones to chew on.

Are you thinking of having a kid’s table at your wedding?

The One Ring:

Mr. Panda’s Lucida ring from Tiffany & Co.

I got my Bezet ring back too! Trying not to wear it around the house. Another three weeks to go! I like my ring, it’s sweet & simple, and best of all, it was my surprise Christmas present from Mr. Panda who thought I’d love having a second wedding ring that would match his. He was right.

Tied the rings to the bird’s nest ring pillow I made earlier in the year just to see how they’d look!

I think they look pretty sweet, don’t you?  

I was so pleasantly surprised to get the ring for Christmas, especially since I have another wedding ring already. Brought it back to Tiffany’s to swap it for the same ring just a size bigger. The reason? I’d love to be able to wear it comfortably on my right hand ring finger on the days when I’m wearing the other wedding ring (which fits my engagement ring as a set) on my left hand.

I’ve determined that this is the ring that will never leave my finger. On days when it would be inconvenient or inappropriate to wear a full-diamond band, I’ll wear just this one on my left hand; on the days when I do wear my eternity band, I’ll shift this to the right hand. Most importantly, having it one size bigger means that during water-retention days when I’m expecting the pitter-patter of little panda paws, I’ll still be able to wear my wedding ring. I’m sentimental like that.

Bridezilla tip: If your ring isn’t something that can be altered easily, size-wise, try to get it a bit loose. As women our finger-size would tend to fluctuate depending on the season of our lives. Either get something that can be altered, or get it a size bigger, as long as it doesn’t get past the knuckle, you should be fine. Plus, being an eternity ring, it wouldn’t matter if it turned on the finger.

SO pleased with the service in Tiffany & Co. at the Raffles Hotel branch! Look for Bibi, our regular sales assistant. She’s a gem.

xx

Princess Panda

I’ve been rambling on so much about wedding paraphernalia from wooden signs to custom-made shoes and ring-pillows that I almost forgot the Golden Law: at any wedding, the Bride(zilla) is the star of the show. 

And that means that the best centrepiece or floral arch or chocolate cupcakes with almond glazed cherries or whatnot would mean exactly zilch if the bride looks like a stressed-out old turkey in tulle.

So, in a very real way, this post right here should contain the best possible advice Princess Panda can give, on how to be in your tip-top condition, physically speaking, come D-Day.

After years of trial & error, experimentation & quite a lot of money spent on makeup & skincare products, I feel quite qualified to begin my treatise on which products actually work on medium-fair, slightly sensitive, combination skin like mine. Since I’m not taking any money from anybody to flog their products on this blog, you can be sure to get only the honest truth here.

For bridezillas looking to glow like the sunny side of the moon on your wedding day, SKIN is everything! Forget everything else; if your skin looks crappy, the human canvas upon which your makeup artist can create some sort of fictionalised loveliness will be severely compromised. Bad canvas = lousy paint-job. Ever tried painting a wall with uneven, cracked surface and peeling layers? Most make-up artists try to cover up the cracks & unevenness with pancake makeup an inch thick. Unfortunately, this exacerbates the cracks & makes matters worse. Can’t really blame them; they can only work with what they’ve got after all.

So how do we nurse the skin back to peachy, pearly health before the big day?

Like your mama tells you; lots of sleep & water. And for me, the following products work like magic:

Estee Lauder skin-care range rocks! I used the Idealist for only three days without really knowing what it does for the skin, and colleagues started to comment on how much more refreshed & radiant I looked. A wonderful complementary product to use with this is the Daywear cream which has an SPF15:

Another great product for skin is Clinique’s Super Defence series:

I always know that if I stick with Estee Lauder & Clinique, all my skincare needs are taken cared of. 

For makeup removal, I use MAC cleansing oil, followed by Clinique’s gentle foaming gel cleanser.

For a bit of a treat at night, after I put my moisturiser on, I love to slick on some pure Jasmine essential oil from Aesop. I’ve been using the Fabulous Face Oil for a few years now; my face always feels fabulous after!

And it smells divine too! The use of essential oil on my skin increases my sense of well-being, and courts sleep so that I wake up feeling refreshed & beautiful, with glowing pink skin. 

Now, for makeup I only use MAC & BeneFit. Let me first say that every woman needs a proper set of makeup applicators & brushes. I’ve used those cheap ones before, and coverage is uneven at best, and every so often the stupid hairs fall out, leaving little hairs on my face after each application! Not a good look. My makeup brushes are from MAC.

Let me wax lyrical about BeneFit for a moment…I LOVE that brand! I can’t live without the Playstick which acts like a concealer stick & is really handy if you don’t want to put a layer of makeup all over your face. Just dab on the areas that need extra coverage (like my three freckles on the left cheekbone) and blend with your fingers. So handy!

The other BeneFit product I can’t live without is the BeneTint! It’s a watery liquid tint which you can use on your lips for that fresh, natural, rose-stained look, and also for your cheeks for that natural healthy flush. Absolutely gorgeous! I usually stain my lips with BeneTint before slicking on my favourite lipstick of the day. When the lipstick disappears sometime mid-day, my lips still look rosy thanks to the tint underneath. It has a very sweet, light rose scent. This is the most versatile product in my arsenal …just love it!

Dr. Feelgood is a lovely-smelling balm that acts as a base, smoothening out your skintone to present the perfect canvas for your makeup to go on. I don’t use this a lot except on special occasions when I really need that extra bit of help.

Now we come to the staple in every woman’s beauty box or handbag….LIPSTICK!

My favourite lippies are from Chanel. One for daily wear is Euphoria 160 from the hydrabase collection. I love it so much that I keep the lippy tube even when there’s nothing left in there to apply with! The other one which I love equally is the rouge allure collection, called Brilliant 08. That’s the most beautiful shade of red for my lips and skin tone & instantly makes me feel red-carpet worthy. Now THAT’s a great lipstick!

My all-time favourite lipgloss is French Kiss by Bloom because it contains yummy vanilla & mandarin oils & smells good enough to eat. Another favourite lipgloss of mine is also by Bloom, and it’s called Cutie Pie. On days when I feel like having a bit of minty goodness on my lips, I turn to Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in Nutmeg. They’re all-natural, leave a long-lasting minty sensation on your lips, and they’re positively YUMMY!

Now I don’t know about you girls out there, but I have a problem with my fine hair getting too greasy towards the end of the day. There’s that problem of going to lunch and then coming back with the awful smell of ‘zi char’ in your hair. Not very glam at all. I absolutely swear by Stila’s Hair Refresher powder in Creme Bouquet. Just sprinkle the fine powder onto the roots of your hair, and voila, instant freshness, beautiful powdery scent, none of the grease, and a sudden increase in volume & body! I found my hair to be quite manageable after a sprinkling of this magic powder too. Kinda like sprinkling baby powder in your hair, except it’s very fine and doesn’t leave a white residue.

If you’re a bridezilla on your big day, make sure your bridesmaid carries a little bottle of this, along with the rest of your emergency arsenal (bobby pins, chalk, safety pins, makeup, perfume, needle & thread, clear nail polish, extra fake nails, etc.) When the old hairstyle is looking a bit worse for wear, and the hair lady’s no where to be found, this should come in handy.

And finally, what makes up the scent of a woman? (Other than a blind Al Pacino doing the tango, that is.)

For me, it’ll always be one of three scents: Estee Lauder’s Pleasures (unique, romantic, feminine, distinctive), BeneFit’s Maybe Baby (young, quirky, powdery-fresh, innocent), and Chanel No. 5 (classic, elegant, mysterious, expensive, sophisticated.) You’ve often heard that the trick to wearing scent is in the layering; that means if I were wearing Chanel No. 5 eau de parfum, I’ll be showering with the same shower gel, lotioning up with the same scent before spritzing the parfum as a final touch. Well, I don’t always follow all the rules. I happen to like Crabtree & Evelyn’s ‘Nantucket’ scent so I do splurge on that shower gel & lotion plus the yummy handcream as well. In the end, Princess Panda probably smells like a walking chemical warfare zone, but since I don’t like to overdo the scent bit, I’d like to think the lingering note just spells “Female.”

Mr. Panda loves the way I smell, even when it’s post-gym or back from work at the end of the day. He wonders how I do it; I always tell him it’s “soap & water, sweetheart.” *winks* Men don’t have to know everything.

The point is, it doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home Mom, or a grad student, a secretary, or a food vendor. Bridezilla’s best advice is this: a woman should always smell fresh, lovely, & clean. She should feel smooth to the touch (unless your man has some strange hair fetish lah), and look well put-together as often as she possibly can. We do this for ourselves, the way our foremothers have always done, from the time Eve first discovered her own reflection & stuck a bone-chopstick in her mane. It doesn’t matter if you’re single or married, a prim maiden or a hoochie-mama. You do this for yourself, because you’re a girl, a woman, a lady, a female, powerful and secure enough in her own femininity to luxuriate in all things female. Pride in one’s appearance, not the kind that breeds arrogance, but the genteel dignity in one’s image, is the first step towards success in life. When you are confident in yourself, the world will take notice.

And if the man in your life appreciates the effort made, well, that’s just a nice bonus.

Many of you won’t know this, but Princess Panda was born on 1st January 19XX! For the first half of my life, people called me ‘The Party Pooper’ (mostly out of sympathy for my parents & the medical personnel who had to be pulled off whatever New Year’s Eve celebration they’d be having just to attend to her royal shrieking highness.)

For the second half of my life I’ve been  trying to forget my birthday but it ain’t easy. Every single year, when the countdown begins, followed by the huge roar of joyous, alcohol-induced “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!” I am sadly reminded of the impending march of wrinkles, sagging, laugh lines & hairloss that is the lot of every human being on earth. Except maybe Heidi Klum, dang her collagen-rich hide.

This year, I’ve been particularly blue. Here I am, in sunny Singapore, with not a single family member near. I miss them so. Life is meaningless without family. Mr. Panda is my family now, but just because I love him doesn’t mean I love my family of origin any less, nor does it lessen the emptiness I feel inside, that comes from the absence of those I love. First thing after the countdown, I got a message from Dad wishing me a happy birthday. Then Mom. Calls from various loved ones. Messages aplenty (the advantage of being a New Year baby; nobody really forgets your birthday!) Princess Panda is a lucky panda indeed. 

The next day (1st Jan), I rolled out of bed & decided to take the first pictures of the year. My 3X year old face without makeup or any kind of enhancement. I’ve decided that I’m going to do this every year. Morbidly trying to catalogue the aging process. Le-Le is six years old today; it’s her birthday also. I gave her a birthday when she came into my life; everyone should have a day set aside to celebrate themselves! So this is our ‘right out of bed without a pit-stop to the bathroom’ look taken via the Photo Booth function of my Mac:

I feel quite fortunate in that my hair is still really black without a single strand of grey. Not a fan of the silver fox look. Freakin’ Cruella de Vil.

Next stop, I logged onto my sister’s blog to find a loving message from her and pictures of her handmade pressie for me. Also the mouse from Ratatouille which I suspect may have been made by Abby. Just a suspicion. I burst into tears after that & had Mr. Panda hopping over (bet you’d pay money to see that, haha) to find out what bit me. After a whole lot of back-patting, he said to go get ready, we’re going out for a little birthday surprise. Apalagi, the waterworks stopped straightaway & I flew into the bathroom.

So guess where that sweet ol’ Panda brought me for my birthday?

Well we both love movies, and this time he brought this mountain tortoise to her very first Gold Class cinema experience! We went to watch ‘Sherlock Holmes’ (not a great movie by the way…Mr. Panda snored about three quarters into the show, and I had to keep pulling on his hand to get him to stop.) But golly, what a nice movie experience! We were shown into a nice lounge with a menu and waiters running around taking your orders. Wine, ravioli, hotdogs or proper mains including steaks. Well this mountain tortoise thought there was a hidden screen somewhere in the ceiling or something and that the movie would be shown right there. *redfaced* Instead, we were shown into the theater which was like a modified cinema with an extra-large screen and plush seats with maybe 6 to a row, in groups of two seats to a table (for an intimate date situation). You could push a button and the back of the seat goes down while the leg-rest slides up. There’s a nice thick blanket for you to cover up as you take your load off. (Bridezilla trying not to think about germs & cooties throughout.) Mr. Panda & I took our load off & just held hands and ate our way through ‘Sherlock’ (with the occasional noisy nap for Mr. Panda). It was a really sweet experience, even though I had a massive headache after that. (Bridezilla tip: Screen is huge…remember to get seats as far back from the screen as possible.)

This was taken with my phone camera at the cinema at Vivocity.

I’m a chipmunk fan! Maybe next movie…

After the movie Mr. Panda & I went to a medieval themed restaurant for dinner. Lots of grilled meat, but quality only so-s0. The company was good though.

After that, we got me a birthday cupcake!

Such a cute yummy one too!

“Would you like half, Mr. Panda?”

Redundant question.

The secret to a happy relationship according to Princess Panda: Love your partner as much as you love yourself, & share good things with him. Including your tiny pink birthday cupcake. Things taste much better somehow when you share.

Be blessed in 2010! Thank you for sharing this journey with me, and keep reading! Bridezilla’s hen’s nite should be coming up in the next few posts…. *wink*

Ya, so I’m in permanent Ascot races mode when I’m happy, what can I say?

Anyway I’d just heard that a village hottie from back home is getting hitched! At the ripe old age of 26! *tsk tsk* So young, so beautiful, so full of promise, & sooooo taken. I commisserated with a good guy friend of mine over this; for him, she was ‘the one that got away’. Since I’m in an alliterative mood this morning, let’s call him Mr….’F’. For ‘Fantastic’.

Well when I found my way to Facebook this morning & found out the frikkin’ news, I messaged Mr. F to find out if he was  feeling fine. *fuahaha* And then, quite without invitation, I barged in with my two cents’ worth of love advice (ya, I’m such an authority figure here having had three boyfriends before Mr. Panda ambled into my horizon & blocked out the sun.)

The problem Mr. F was facing is something quite a few men face these days surprisingly. Like Ross in ‘Friends’, who pined for Rachel for years before getting her (and losing her, & getting her back, & losing her…you get the picture), sometimes the good, loyal, decent gentlemen who would technically make great husbands always end up being relegated to the ‘Friend’ basket, while the jerks on a white charger come in & sweep the dames away into a passionate stupor. And then, just as quickly, Rhett sweeps out again, leaving the nice, steadfast ‘Friend’ to patch up said dame, only to watch her ride off into the sunset with someone else when she’s all nicely mended.

I tell ya, it doesn’t make sense! I’m convinced the answer lies in the WOOING & in sezing the WINDOW.

See, if you’re a guy & you happen to really dig a particular woman, please DON’T take the Korean mini-series male hero way of writing your feelings into a diary, losing it & then hoping that it’ll magically end up in the girl’s best friend’s locker room & she’ll bring it to your lady love and then you live happily ever after.  [cue violin music against angst-filled background shots of beautiful Korean winterscape.] Suppression of emotions is NOT a sign of stoicism; it’s a sign of sheer stupidity. (Really on an alliterative roll now. *amazed at myself*)

Trust me on this one. When you meet a girl, you only have a very limited, rapidly diminishing window of opportunity in which to form an impression in her brain, that you are romantic hero material. Remember; you will be fighting with visions of the latest Prada handbag, PMS, corporate politics & Taylor Lautner for space in that brain of hers. So your every move must be calculated, focused and above all, swift. There are exceptions to the rule of course; but unless you look like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Ken Watanabe, and have Obama’s clout and Bill Gates’ money, you may consider yourself the rule rather than the exception.

So STRIKE when the iron’s hot. Be Mr. Nice Guy, sure. But telegraph your interest for goodness’ sake. Take a risk & let her know (not in so many words lah…practice your non-verbal skills!) that; (a) you’re available to explore a relationship with her (b) you’re a good person who’s sticking around for the long-term (c) you think she’s the best thing since sliced bread, and (d) you badly want to be her beau. And convey all that BEFORE she sees you as a good friend & you get relegated to that basket.

Case in point; I’ve dated a few guys, and they’re all completely different from one another. Literally the ONLY thing they had in common was that they all moved fast. Excellent move, I might add. Give me too much time, and I’ll start manufacturing reasons why it wouldn’t work, it’s the wrong time, he’s not my type, blah blah blah.

I can’t over-emphasise the fact that there’s a small window of opportunity for women; we’re big suckers for the ‘swept away’ feeling. No time to think, weigh, consider. It’s our inner Scarlett clamouring for big southern romances against a landscape of uncertainty! It’s the ‘being in the moment’, and the sense of destiny (probably brought on by too many late-night movies, romance novels & sugar deprivation from a low-carb diet) that makes us feel as though everything has been written in the stars, and then the magic words appear:

‘Could he be …The ONE??’

Because after all, things aren’t supposed to happen so fast…unless we have something really, really powerful going on, in which case it’s stupid to consider the pros & cons because, you know, it’s fate and all. *cracks gum*

Ok, I’m exaggerating here to make a point, but I wanted you to see how all the movies we watch and the books we read have primed us for a Grand Romance. We yearn to have that Great Love, the one we can tell our grandkids about. Andrea de Cruz  & Pierre Png have that great love story; “Grandpa gave grandma a part of his liver after hers got burnt by ingesting diet pills from China.”

You’d serve us well to give us that grand romance of a lifetime. If you throw all your cards down, and take a risk for love, the worst we can do is reject you. But then we’d never see you as a mere ‘Friend’; a title worse than death for a guy with a bleeding love-lorn heart. 

One month till my wedding, three weeks to my ROM, two weeks to my trip to the US (from whence I must return…a day before my ROM. Bring out the Berocca & Red-bull), and two days to my birthday (which falls on New Year’s Day). This is the time we should be cooing at each other like turtle-doves, but instead, Mr. Panda is bogged down with massive work stress, I’m bogged down with new projects and a presentation to prepare for, and we’ve completely lost control of the guestlist. Somehow, I imagined the last month before the wedding to be quite different from reality.

Well, one thing’s out of the way. Our wedding rings! I collected Mr. Panda’s ring yesterday from Tiffany & Co. Beautiful & simple; he’s really pleased with it because it looks just like the ‘One Ring’ from Lord of the Rings! Last night he kept playing with it, making sound effects as it fell down, down, down slooooooowly ala a scene from the movie. *roll eyes* Now he wants to check with Tiffany whether they can engrave Elvish on the outer curve of the ring, ala the One Ring. Classic Mr. Panda.

Now we’re off to the tailor recommended by Babyduck to have his three-piece suit made. Fingers crossed they’ll do good work & make Mr. Panda look like he lost the 5kg he recently put on. I’ll keep y’all posted so watch this space!

We’ve got the ROM invitations which are for the 80 pax registration cum tea ceremony for the groom’s side here in Singapore. And those are a romantic cream & lavender with periwinkle accents.

We’ve got our wedding invitations for the ceremony in the morning followed by a brunch reception. And these are ruby & cream with the whole LOTR/Narnia references. There are inserts in these invitations specifically detailing the dinner reception as well, since the same people invited to the morning ceremony will be invited to the evening one too!

And lastly, we’ve got the Chinese banquet invitations which a bilingual and are given to guests who are invited to the dinner only! My Momzilla picked the design, which is quite traditional. I love it, precisely because it’s so very different from my usual style, and thus has a certain traditional charm to it all. It is a shimmery cream cardstock with two sides printed and inserted into a bright red cover (that’s not the envelope; there’s a separate red envelope with a ‘Double Happiness’ gold stamp at the top that comes with this.) It’s just one long rectangle, not a fold-over or bi-fold invitation. The print looks like a bi-fold invitation but it’s really just how the printer set it up to show us:

Now the real thing is a lot prettier, because you can see the shimmer & all!

This was a draft we later modified a little, since this bridezilla’s eagle eyes spotted subtle mistakes! Here’s a useful tip for the day: Proof-read, proof-read, proof-read!!!

How cool would it be to get little ornaments or a favourite piece of art or jewelry or even personalized clay figurines of your Maid of Honour for eg. and turn her into a snow-globe?

Aren’t these pictures from Antropologie to die for?

And seriously, it’s quite easy to make too! I’m pasting this post from Well-Worn because it’s so darn useful!

I read another article where you don’t have to use distilled water with glycerine…just use baby oil so that the snow-flakes take a longer time to settle, due to the density of the oil. I’m thinking this will be a sweet gift for someone special too; perhaps an old pair of earrings she used to love, or a little clay figure of your dog, or a locket with a picture….

In retrospect, I’m quite relieved that it happened when it did, actually. If it hadn’t this trip, we would never have suspected he might’ve been barred from flying due to the passport issue. Can you imagine if this had happened just prior to him flying to KK for our wedding???!! 

Just for kicks, Mom & I discussed this hypothetical scenario. We both took a minute to imagine the logistics horror, dozens of overseas guests flying in for the wedding, etc. And Mom concluded that the show must go on, and if that little scenario were to happen for real, I’ll just have to say my vows to a giant portrait of Mr. Panda! *LOL*

Thankfully that won’t be the case now, since Mr. Panda will be renewing his passport pronto by Monday! Crisis averted!

The day started with food-tasting at the Shangri-La…the set-up, flowers & menu are all the exact one-table replica of what the banquet set-up will look like on that day. And I was very pleased to see the results:

I think my only comment about the set-up was for the flowers to be more amped up. They look a bit sparse as is, but even then, still quite clean & elegant.

My elegant almost 60 year old Mom-zilla studying the menu. Not a trace of makeup on her & no surgical enhancements! Good genes! She stole my favourite pearl & gold dangling earrings by Andria W.

Liz K, my lovely friend who’ll be floor manager at the ceremony, making a funny face!

The little menu card. Simple & elegant works for me!

What the inside of the menu says!

Basket of goodies from ‘Loving You’ at City Mall. They pack everything you need in the most gorgeous old-fashioned Chinese basket. Oranges with ‘Double Happiness stickers, the long red cloth for both the groom’s door & the bride’s door, ‘xi tang’ (Double Happiness sweets) and all kinds of quaint stuff! Worth every cent.

The guodali stuff on the formal dining table. We have the double happiness ‘tong yuan’ bowl & spoon set for eating glutinous balls. Tea set. Peng Kam (bride price or dowry given by groom’s family, or in our case, the groom). Gold jewellery gift set given by the groom. Guo da li basket containing all the necessary including ‘double happiness sweets’ (‘xi bing’ or ‘xi tang’), red cloth for the bride & groom’s front doors respectively, oranges stuck with ‘double happiness’ stickers, etc. All packed by the wonderful people at ‘Loving You’ a shop in City Mall, Kota Kinabalu.

Diamond & rose gold set. Pictures don’t show them to their best, but I love them to bits. Well, I should because Mr. Panda may have paid for them, but I picked them! Good set for evening wear.

Here’s another look!

I just HAVE to point out how adorable the sweets are! Check out the detail!

All in all I had a blast with the relatives during my guo da li. Mr. Panda was completely bemused of course. (“I can’t believe you did this without me! How??!”) *shrugs* Bridezillas are practical creatures. We like to do things our way, but if we can’t then we roll with the situation & make do. Poor Mr. Panda missed out this time, but I’m sure he’ll survive. (Guy spent the entire long weekend playing computer games, eating junkfood & hanging out with the dog. I’m sure he didn’t mourn for too long.)

A surprising boon for the guo da li! The peng kam was presented to Mom. And I told her she didn’t have to return anything it was for her. But then she gave me half of the money. Then she disappeared and gave me an additional angpow, just for me, to cover my expenses. Isn’t that just so generous & sweet of her? Not customary, this one. Just pure love. So when I say I’m a lucky Princess Panda, I so am, in more ways than one. I may not have a lot of money, but I surely am rich in love.

More posts later!

On Christmas Eve, Mr. Panda & I went to Changi Airport full of good cheer & excitement, absolutely loaded with presents. I was also carrying the gold and cash for the guodali ceremony which was to take place on Christmas Day. Mr. Panda, in particular, was rhapsodizing over the turkey & roasted ham and all the other yummies we would be having later that night. So there we were, acting like a couple of oversized gleeful pirates toting loot, giggling at the silly reindeer headbands that all the AirAsia staff had to wear that day, and feeling really smug in our superior loved-up skin!

And then the axe fell.

“I’m sorry sir, but there’s only 5 months and 4 days left on your passport. We can’t let you on board the plane.”

WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!

After the initial shock, this Princess Panda applied all of her considerable powers of persuasion on the staff, officers, airport personnel, security guard, toilet cleaner and potted plant she could spot within a 20-foot radius. All were resolute in their stand. Dazed, but resolute. Mr. Panda would not be having turkey that night.

I was working myself up to a major tantrum, thinking off all the preparation that went into the guodali the next day. Would I be the only bride in modern history to have a betrothal without the groom present? And for crying out loud, it’s Christmas Eve! Mixed in with all those rollickin’ emotions was a significant amount of frustration towards Mr. Panda, who apparently had never heard of the 6 month passport validity rule. *roll eyes* Hunger must’ve starved his brain.

So there I was, tears of frustration & sadness rolling down my eyes, with Mr. Panda rubbing my back making low, unidentifiable comforting noises. We moved some of the presents from his suitcase into mine, turning my elegant streamlined Samsonite into a bloated whale, with shiny fish-guts. I was wailing about how we’ll have to burn his return ticket which cost a bomb (because Christmas is mucho peak period with the tickets being extra-expensive. Them reindeer are the real pirates if ye ask me!) 

And then my dear fiance whipped up a little package from his backpack all wrapped up in plastic bags. “Here darling, this is your present. I was going to surprise you during present-time in KK, but I guess you can have it now.”  I was taken aback. He had already declared way in advance that this year there’d be no presents because of the wedding. Money is tight, and he’ll get me a birthday present in lieu of a Christmas pressie (since my birthday is just one week after Christmas). Well, the multiple plastic bags just tell me he’s not much for presentation (or for the environment!) but my gosh, what a sweetie! Said I wasn’t to open it till I got home, but that it’s something I would like. Something for my nose. ?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? The plot thickens.

Well I stopped crying at that point, as you’d expect of any self-respecting woman. And as my mood improved, so did my resourcefulness. I called AirAsia & told them that since they retimed my flight from 9.35pm to 5.25pm it’s more than 4 hours’ difference and according to the flight contract we’d be entitled to a refund provided it happens before the flight. To make a long story short, we ended up with a SGD250 credit note…a mere half hour before take-off! So all’s well that end’s well. Except poor Mr. Panda had to spend Christmas with the dog instead of the turkey.

Well I made it home in time for cold leftovers and present-time!

But guess what was underneath all those ugly layers of plastic bags?

For my NOSE?? Sneaky Mr. Panda! Tried a little misdirection on me, eh.

Well I tore the ribbon off that distinctive blue & white box every girl dreams of receiving and guess what I found?!

It’s my bonus wedding band!! The Tiffany & Co yellow gold Bezet ring!! The one I raved about! Mr. Panda got it for me since I wanted another plain gold wedding ring to match Mr. Panda’s wedding band.

See, I already have a wedding band custom-made by Fairy’s Inc. It’s all bling bling & curved to match my engagement ring. But it looks nothing like Mr. Panda’s ring, and it’s not very practical for everyday use, especially if you have to clean or gym everyday (neither of which I do. Now anyway. But you never know, right?) So I’ve been hankering for a plain gold alternative wedding band.

I chalked it up to fancy & decided to stow the idea away until we have more money.

But my darling Mr. Panda snuck out to Tiffany & bought the ring for me anyway, so that we could have matching rings at our ROM. He must have counted his pennies pretty carefully to get this, considering our massive financial commitments of late. Guy is such a baby angel.

As you might imagine, the rest of Christmas was a happy blur for me after that.

Grandma-zilla! 80 over years old, with skin like a fresh dewy rose petal! Does youth & beauty run in the family or what? *strut*

Mom opening her presents! Almost 60 & still has skin like a fresh dewy rose petal too! Haiizzz.

My home’s as gaily decorated as a mall in the North Pole!

Present from Mom. Always wanted a romantic baroque frame with gorgeous porcelain roses & gilt borders. LOVE! Mom says I should put my picture on one side & Mr. Panda’s picture on the other side and a picture of the two of us in the middle.

When I’m 85, I want to be as elegantly preserved as grandma! Not a single bit of cosmetic or surgical enhancement here, believe it or not!

Will write more on the actual groomless guodali later. It was a strange but pleasant little experience!

Merry Christmas one & all! Remember the best gift you can give someone is your heart. HUGS!

xx

Bridezilla aka Princess Panda

Mr. Panda showing his moves.

Unfortunately, only cash would do in this situation.

So basically we put together a collection of brand-new dollar notes hot off the press, in denominations ending with the number ’9′, which is particularly auspicious for weddings because it sounds like ‘a long time’ or ‘infinity.’ So for example, if you’ve got cash to burn, you’d put SGD9,999,999.99 in the special red ‘pengkam’ packet called ‘pin jin dai’ in Mandarin (pengkam pocket). If you’re on the other end of the scale you could put SGD 999.99 (which is basically a thousand smackeroos) or SGD9,999.99 which would be roughly SGD10k, or even SGD2,999.99 which is SGD3k less 1 cent. Basically any amount you & your bride’s family are comfortable with giving, as long as it ends with a ’9′ at the back or in some cases ’8′ (which sounds like ‘prosperity’ in Chinese.) Mr. Panda once made the mistake of asking me whether it meant he can technically give SGD9.99 for me. I told him that he can get himself a bride that commensurates with that amount; probably someone like this:

He never asked that question again.

Anyway, back to the ‘peng kam’ (in Cantonese) or ‘pin jin’ (in Mandarin).

Here’s a shot of what our ‘pin jin dai’ looks like. It’s a large red pocket made of satin with auspicious characters in front, and in the satin pocket you’ll find a standard red packet made of paper.

Here’s the front:

And this is the back:

And here it is with the inside packet laid out next to it:

I have a really nice shot of the newly minted cash all spread out in a fan next to this ‘pin jin dai’ but thought it would be too crass to publish it, so you’ll just have to use your imagination!

The rest of the guodali goodies I’ll have to get from Sabah. Oranges with the double happiness stickers on them, wine (duty-free at Changi!), and gold jewelry (I brought it back to Sabah the last trip so I’ll just have to take them out of the vault & arrange them nicely), traditional sweets & complete guodali basket (all of which will be prepared by “Loving You” a store specializing in Chinese wedding stuff in City Mall, Kota Kinabalu.) Will take photos of the basket & blog about it when I come back from this trip!

Looks like we’re a heck of a lot poorer but all prepared now for the ceremony! Stay tuned.

Seriously malas these days, what with Christmas literally around the corner, the guodali cakes not sourced yet, and Mr. Panda & I both so BROKE, BROKE, BROKE!!!!!!!

Can I just say this; you should always leave a very comfortable buffer in your budget because weddings have a habit of getting out of hand. In the beginning we kept telling ourselves, ‘Oh it’s once in a lifetime!’ and then went for something we could barely afford. If you’re an intrepid ickle bridezilla, and you’re not careful, you’ll end up being so stressed you forget to enjoy the planning process or allow tension to creep into your relationship. The smartest couples go simple but skate through with minimal stress & maximum enjoyment of the whole event. Wish I’d done that now.

Still, with all the 50% deposits dumped in, the show must go on! And realistically, can Bridezilla live with a no-frills wedding? I’ll just have to put my chin down & manage. Still, the tap is shut tight now, & the only thing we’ll be paying for is what we contracted earlier, nothing extra.

I’d say aside from the banquet, the most expensive items are the photography & videography. In fact, the two combined actually cost almost the same as my entire 500 pax dinner reception in the Shangri-La! So you can imagine how INSANE I must have been to commit to such a crazy price tag! And if I’m perfectly honest, I’m not sure if I’d have made the same decision if I could do it over.

Still, as my bridesmaid Babyduck consoled me, ‘You got the best photographer in Malaysia’ so I suppose that’s the price I had to pay. 

Now the videography is something else; I absolutely fell in love with Yang’s style (from Substance Films) from the moment I saw his videos. In fact, I’d call his work ‘wedding cinematography’ instead of videography. It’s the artistry & dreamy nature of it all, like being caught in a movie. And which bride wouldn’t want to star in her own movie once in her lifetime?

I searched a long time for a cinematographer who could produce the exact ‘look’ I was after…dreamy, nostalgic, romantic, vintage overtones. I knew Yang was the guy the moment I saw his work! So with a sinking heart, I sprung major dough to ship him to Sabah for the main event! But check out this video montage he did for this ADORABLE couple so you’ll know how flawless & expensive Bridezilla’s taste is.

And here’s another one I found by Yang; the bride is absolutely stunning here! 

When we decided to have the ROM in Singapore I tried to get Yang also but he wasn’t available that day. No matter, I found Vocare Media to be very professional with some really sweet videos also. They’ll be giving us the express highlights the day after the ROM so that we can bring it back with us to Malaysia & play it during the banquet.

And on top of everything, Bridezilla’s mom, (henceforth she shall be known as ‘Momzilla’) hired another videographer to take everything from start to finish, Chinese-style, in case anybody misses anything. I sincerely hope that the urban legend is wrong, and that the camera does NOT put on 10 pounds on everybody because I’m guessing every expression, angle, wrinkle, fold, & wobble will be caught on film for posterity.

Watch this space. When the time comes, I’ll upload our videos so you can feast your eyes on total Panda-monium!

Cheers!

Location: Taxi Stand at Plaza Singapura. A skinny girl walks by wearing hotpants that were so short & tight her butt-cheeks were literally exposed. As in the half-moons of her bottom cheeks were winking at us as she sashayed on the arm of her Ah Beng boyfriend.

Me:  [Outraged gasp] Did you SEE that??? Oh my gosh! I’ve got knickers that’re more modest than that! Can you wear that kinda thing in Singapore without getting arrested?? Owww! My EYES! Going blind!

Mr. Panda:  [Eyeballs the winking half-moons.] Hmmm.

Me: Do you find her hot?

Mr. Panda: No.

Me: [Not happy with his short & underwhelming response.] What if I were to insist on wearing something like that out? What would you do? [*Yeah, my cellulite really needs that kinda exposure! Miss Piggy in hot-pants will really sear your eyeballs to Kingdom Come.]

Mr. Panda:  I wouldn’t go out in public with you dressed like that.

Me: What if our daughter were to dress up like that & say to you ”Bubbye Daddy, I’m off to the cinema now! Bubbye!”?

Mr. Panda: Then I’ll say “Okie doke! Bubbye car! Bubbye allowance! Bubbye nice clothes, phone, credit card! Helloooo school of hard knocks.”

Me: What if our son were to bring back a girl dressed like that & tells us…”Mom & Dad, I’m going to marry her??!”

Mr. Panda: Then I’ll just point & say, ‘Son, the bedroom is that way. Call me when you’re finished.’

Me: [Laughs my head off.]

Mr. Panda: [ Laughs at me laughing at him.]

Girl with the half-moons: [Not laughing at all.]

Bear in mind that the theory hasn’t been tested yet, but JM contacted me last night with the results of the negotiations with her two & a half year old. So far, so good, but I’m afraid to say, she got suckered into a loser deal.

The plan now is for the Best Man to wait at the altar holding onto a brand-new 10-inch Lightning McQueen! (I had to google it to find out it was this red car.)

And little J will march solemnly with the ring-pillow (which he scornfully calls a “Basket!”), eyes on the prize. And closer to the goal, the Best Man will wave Lightning McQueen enticingly at him, which would (theoretically!) encourage him to take the last few steps there, give Gerald a high-five, and then swap the merchandise. So the Best Man rescues the ring-pillow, J gets a brand-new toy car, & everyone’s happy. Crisis averted.

Meanwhile, I reckon the pictures will look really cute, with the Best Man in his suit holding onto a red toy car. Haha! The only problem now is how to prevent J from SPRINTING down the aisle, knocking down his older sister (the flowergirl) in the process.

The answer lies in Abby! My little niece who’s also two & a half & a really pretty girl! She’s the other flowergirl. Since J is showing signs of being a toddler heartthrob Lothario on an epic scale, the mother’s hoping he’ll EITHER set his eyes on the car OR the girl!

Cars & girls. Hard-wired into their DNA. Sigh.

You know what? He could throw a tanty & chuck the nest on the floor for all I care. Kids are unpredictable, and therein lies their charm. You might as well try to control the weather. Surprisingly, even to me, the child factor has never been a source of anxiety for me. Who needs a perfectly choreographed wedding with no quirks to add to the interest? It’ll be a story to tell the grandkids (or teenage Lothario, when he grows up!), about how he tipped the pillow upside down/pulled off the flowergirls bow/sprinted down the aisle for his Lightning McQueen. In fact, I almost hope the kids do something unexpected just to shake things up a little in an otherwise solemn affair! (I must have a back-up plan though, if he DOES chuck the pillow on the floor!) The kids’ Mom is a God-sent; prepping them beforehand, discovering their needs & desires & then cunningly working a toy into the bargain, planning on making them sleep early, no more than one rehearsal (more would cause fatigue & they’ll start acting up), no sugars or sweets throughout the trip to minimise any possibility of a sugar frenzy (poor tykes!), & generally brain-washing her already lovely & well-behaved kids.  

Will keep y’all posted on whether this strategy is successful!

Sore throat, sniffles & sneezles, joint pain & stuffy head, the works.

BUT!

There’s no dampening my spirits here. Six weeks to becoming a Mrs! (Actually, five if you want to be technical, since my ROM is in exactly 5 weeks). I feel like I should be doing something profound & zen at this point, reflecting on my past, designing my future with Bridezillian precision, etc. but I’m too excited for that crap! Am doing the happy dance every other day now.

Seriously, Mr. Panda is everything I want in a husband, and that little bit extra too. He’s just a bit…supersized. But that can be a brilliant thing too, because during the coming Apocalypse, one big toe of his could sustain an entire village of starving children. He’s always joking that our Yeti will be his emergency meal (she probably thinks the same of him, it’s just that her English ain’t that good) but little does he know that he is MY emergency meal! *evil chuckle*

But enough about eating…six weeks to go and I’m no where NEAR touching my weight-loss goals, and the heck of it is I don’t really care. I feel radiant enough to light up an entire city, so happy am I. Come D-Day, I will be the loveliest woman in the room, just because I feel lovely, loving & dearly loved. And this is what being with the right person will do to you; sparks will shoot out of your fingertips, your feet will feel like they are shod in puffy clouds, your eyeballs get replaced with twinkling little hearts, and the back of your molars can be seen at least 12 hours a day because you are smiling so hard.  

And aha! Six weeks to D-Day & five weeks to ROM also means it’s just over a week to my ‘Guo Da Li’! All preparations are in order including the set of diamond & rose gold jewellery Mr. Panda got for me. Actually, he just gave me the money, I picked everything out myself, and this was done about four months back during a sale & at a time when the gold price was quite low. So I’m pretty chuffed about it. The only thing left undone is the ‘Xi Bing’ (‘Double Happiness Cakes’) or wedding announcement cakes the guy’s family is supposed to bring to the girl’s family in order for them to send it around to their relatives as a wedding announcement (“Oiii!! My daughter found a buyer!! Here, have a swiss roll!!”) Some people just stick a red ‘Double Happiness sticker’ on a plain marble cake & that’ll do.

The problem is, my Mom requested 20 to 30 boxes. *gulp* Mr. Panda is a blur buffalo about these things & his parents live in New Zealand, AND they’re quite westernised too. Which leaves this Bridezilla to handle all them cakes that noone will eat anyway because everyone’s on a diet so they look good on D-Day. Now I don’t mind getting the cakes, but HOW do I bring 20-30 boxes of ‘Xi Bing’ on an airplane??!

We arrive Sabah Christmas Eve. The ‘Guo Da Li’ is on Christmas Day. Between our arrival & the big day, there’s no time to source the cakes locally. And gosh, getting them on board an airplane & hand-carrying them would be an impossible feat!

If we didn’t have to contend with air-travel, I’d for sure have gone for the special cakes from Sweetest Moments. They are SOOOOOO cute! They come in personalized ‘Double Happiness’ or the more modern type of boxes, and you get to have your picture on a personalised wedding announcement card as well!

Check these out:

Aren’t they darling? And for about SGD8.90 per box only too!

Alas, for this Bridezilla, I’ll just have to think about getting the pound or round cakes locally in Sabah, and then tying them with a roll of ‘Double Happiness’ ribbon like in the picture below, and stick a ‘double happiness’ sticker on top of the box or something.

Necessity, they say, is the mother of invention.

Going to have a lie-down now. *ahchoo* Be posting more later. Ciao!

*LOL!!*

Love kitties. And doggies. And pandas of course.

To his credit, he suggested a swim date today! After about two laps, I paddle over to him & he rolls his eyes at me: “I feel like an aircraft carrier powered by galley slaves.”

That just about killed me, it was so funny.

Well, about five laps later, apparently half the galley slaves died, so we had to call it a day.

It’s a lovely bonus if the man you love happens to have a self-deprecating kinda humor & still makes you laugh. Life is looking rosy with my funny Mr. Panda.

As y’all may know, you can’t run away from giving ang pow (or ‘hong bao’, ‘lai see’, ‘ang bao’, ‘red packet’, depending on your dialect group) during a Chinese wedding, regardless of whether you’re a guest, close relative or the newly-wedded couple! Unless of course, you’re underaged or a paid vendor/service provider. This is a practical requirement since it’ll help with the cash deficit situation the young couple would sure to be in (there is another reason why we love to wear red at a Chinese wedding besides the usual auspicious reasons…because by then we’re usually literally in the red, cash-wise ) Now you may ask why the wedded couple have to give angpows also; it’s to signify their new status as ‘adults’, and that’s why we only give to helpers and close relatives who are younger in age than we are. And if we’re lucky, it’ll all balance out!

I’ve done extensive research (internet, books, articles) and conducted various interviews (with elderly relatives, wedding consultants, former brides & their mothers, etc.) and applied my own inimitable Bridezilla observational skills in this matter, so I feel quite qualified to come up with this list to help all of you bridezillas out there, who’re as clueless as I once was! Now this list may not be exhaustive, in which case please feel free to add/amend/modify as necessary. It may not be accurate for your particular circumstances also, since there may be slight differences depending on dialect group and how faithfully you want to adhere to the customs. It also does not include the cash output required for the ‘Guo Da Li’ segment of a Chinese wedding, which you’ll have to check out in another post. Strictly actual day angpow only.

So with all the disclaimers done, and without further ado, let me now present….

The Ang Pow List for the Chinese Wedding Couple

You will need to give angpow to:

(1)   The Celebrant

(2)  The Master of Ceremonies

(3)  Helpers at the Reception / Sign in Table x 2 (or however many helpers you have)

(4)   Younger siblings 

(5)  Younger extended relatives like cousins, nephews & nieces

(6)   Tea-lady who’s helping with the tea ceremony (both groom’s side & bride’s side which means TWO angpows!)

(7)   Assistant tea-lady, usually a young girl helping the tea-lady to wash the cups & replace them during the tea-ceremony

(8)   Assistant helping the bride to put on her jewellery that was given during tea ceremony. If she’s a bridesmaid you may choose to give it in one lump sum later on.

(9)   Bridesmaids

(10)   ‘Jie-Meis’ or ‘sisters’ who usually congregate in the bride’s house during the siege. They are not bridesmaids.

(11)   Umbrella-woman; she holds the red umbrella over your head on your wedding day

(12)  Young boy who opens the car-door; usually the youngest male relative of the bride

(13)  The ‘Ah Yees’ (‘Aunties’) & ushers who are usually people helping out at reception

(14)  Choir or music ministry people helping out in the worship team if it’s a Christian wedding

 (15) Flowergirls & ring-bearer

 (16)  Pastor, if it’s a Christian wedding

 (17)  Haircombing woman; she’s a lucky lady chosen to comb the bride’s hair before ‘shang tou’.

(18)  Groomsmen & best man

(19) ‘Heng Dai’ or ‘brothers’; the contingent of sweaty males accompanying the groom to the bride’s house

(20)   The ‘An Chuang’ lady who sets the marital bed for you

(21)   The little boy who jumps on the bed

(22)  At least 20 angpows with at least SGD10 or SGD20 in each one for the miscellaneous needs you may have overlooked. NEVER be caught short! These are what I’d call ‘the Emergency Angpow Stash’!

(23)  ‘Milk Money’ or ‘Nappy Money’; this is a small angpow to be given to the parents of the bride on the morning the groom picks her up, and it’s completely separate from the ‘peng kam’ (dowry or bride price) cash given during the ‘Guo Da Li’. It’s kind of a courtesy thing; that the groom leaves something behind on the morning he picks up his bride.

I think that covers just about everything! Helpful, much?

*clicks heels & flies away home*

Perfectly sensible men & women turn into fantasy Robin Hood & Maid Marian the second they need to sign the freakin’ marriage certificate & out comes the dramatically bushy feather quill. Is it the romance in the sweep of the dead chicken’s tail? Is it the “unique” element it supposedly creates in the portrait session? (HARDLY unique anymore!)

If people are aiming for the vintage look, they overshot the mark there. “Vintage” is a beautifully crafted art deco fountain pen with an exquisitely carved golden or silver nib dipped into a vintage crystal pot of ink. It is NOT plucking the backside of unassuming fowl in order to recreate a medieval writing instrument from the Dark Ages.

How many chickens have to run around naked just so that people can have a fancy feathered signing pen for that ONE time?! And make no mistake about it, it’ll be just that ONE time because I don’t see anyone using that in the hallowed corridors of Corporatia. Granted, (as one of the groomsmen, Errol pointed out) most of the original owners of said feathers aren’t running anymore, given the number of chicken rice stalls in Singapore. Naked, but definitely not running. That is not the point! Where’s the thrill in pretending to be from another era only during the signing process, unless your entire theme is medieval/renaissance/Robin Hood/Robinson Crusoe? 

And you grooms! Shame on you! If you wouldn’t normally wear a skort with pom-poms dangling from the hem, why would you even consider using a writing instrument with a bushy pink feather attached to the end of it??

Now, no offence to those of you who prefer to sign the most important contract of your life (apart from a prenup) with a feather quill. Hey, it’s a free world out there. But just consider how you’d feel about your wedding pictures when you’re sixty; feather quill and Precious Moments bears & Hello Kitties everywhere (the subject of another rant to come; what is WITH soft toys & weddings??!! Like the coming together of two teens at a county fair or something!)…if you think “Oh, adorable!” then by all means proceed because you belong to that segment of the population whose minds will never age beyond 16. But if you’re like me, you’d be wishing you invested more on the flowers and perhaps better gifts for your attendants and parents.

So in response to this peculiar trend of signing one’s marriage certificate with a quill, I’ve compiled a list of other instruments &/or methods you might use to get that “unique” factor without disturbing anybody’s backside feathers:

1. Gnaw on your thumb till you see some blood & then print it on the signing line. Stunningly simple, definitely heartfelt, and goes back further in time than the feather quill.

2. Sign your name with a piece of charcoal taken out of the embers of burnt love letters from past admirers. Meaningful, check. Romance, check. Unique, for sure, check.

3. Slick on blood-red lipstick on your lips (BOTH of you) and seal the cert with a kiss. A bit sick, but definitely original. Recommended only for people with decent-shape lips.

4. Sign your names with invisible ink…the signature will be visible only after you hold the paper over a lit candle for a while. Yup. I imagine many would want to do that with their marriage certificate. Especially after the 5th year of marriage.

5. Here’s a novel idea. How about an elegant Montblanc fountain pen which you can engrave with a special message and use long after the wedding? Too rich for your taste (or pocket), then how about a Waterman, a Parker, a Sheaffer or even a Campo Marzio? (Italian brand with really cute funky designs. I like!)

No prizes for guessing which option I’d be choosing.

So which are you going for?

This:

Or this:

1. Blogged at my usual rate. (My Bridesman will tell you I sometimes can do five posts a day, when I’m really manic. Alas, I’ve been slacker-zilla lately. And not because I’ve been distracted by the ‘New Moon’ craze either.)

2. Exercised! (Dang it. A combination of Tanty being out of commission for a while & me being BONE LAZY. And now my little paunch has taken on a life of its own. It’s the paunch that ate Singapore. I disgust myself. )

3. Dieted. (Note to self: One can only use the “I’m eating for two” excuse if one is actually pregnant. Sometimes I shock even me. But what the heck, the paunch backs up my story.)

4. Stuck to my budget. Like the U.S Treasury, I am now in deficit, only without the handy option of printing more money to make up the shortfall.

5. Stuck to my facial/wax/hair treatment beauty plan. (Hey, this kind of feminine maintenance is costly & time-consuming, ok! I can literally feel my IQ dropping & my blood pressure rising with sheer impatience, just because I have to lie there like a slab of meat for 2 and a half hours, completely immobilized & listening to the same New Age track over & over again! Ever heard of spa-rage?? How do socialites & It-girls do this day in & day out??)

One thing I have done though, was to prod gently lead Mr. Panda into making a decision about his attire. Or at least to a manageable shortlist. Before this, I’ve pondered, mused, debated & blogged on the appropriate attire for the groom, but came no closer to a solution. Until now.

Here’s a list of our design dilemmas & eventual solutions:

1. Mr. Panda can’t wear a bowtie because his neck is too big, and he would look like he was being strangled with a cute little bow. Not sexy. So we decided on a sleek necktie instead. Bang for the buck too; you can always wear a nice tie to another funtion. And the length of it draws the eye vertically which naturally slenderises a silhouette.

2. Mr. Panda can’t wear a tux in the morning because it’s a MORNING wedding, and even though 99% of the population here ignore that  golden rule for menswear, this Bridezilla isn’t going to be one of them. Most men can’t help it, because most grooms either (a) don’t know the golden rule; or (b) have no choice because they have to rent their gear from the bridal shop & they mostly rent tuxes. Mr. Panda doesn’t have that rental option unfortunately because he can’t fit into anything here! Solution: Made-to-measure. A bit pricier than renting, but will fit better & a good investment for any man. Besides, it’s not like he has a choice at this point.

3. Mr. Panda would like to be able to reuse his snazzy wedding attire instead of letting it be a ‘one-time only’ outfit. He’ll have to get it made-to-measure, and even though I do believe that every man should own his own tux, practically speaking he probably wouldn’t even get ten wears out of his tux. Now an exquisitely cut dark suit however, he can get more use out of. And it would circumvent the whole “no tux before 6pm” rule. An easy day to night transformation. And with a regular (but beautifully cut) suit, it would be more flattering on his body-type, without the need for a cummerbund (having one around his Panda-gut would be like trying to hold back the Titanic with a bra-strap, and just as dangerous. One accidental snap could knock the pastor out cold.) Solution: I think we’re leaning towards a dark formal suit instead of a tuxedo.

4. Mr. Panda wants a pale silver grey vest & tie set. My morning lace dress for the ceremony is champagne/deep ivory. His groomsmen’s ties are all champagne. And he tells me NOW, that he has a mad love for silver. He is lucky to have an understanding, not to mention ingenious bride-to-be. Luckily, my wedding gown for the evening reception, my beloved Gatsby dress, is gold accented with pewter & silver embroidery, which should go nicely with his pale silver ensemble. This means that he’ll have to go with a champagne ensemble during the day (to match my dress & the groomsmen’s ties) but he’d be free to indulge in his mad love for silver at night!

I reckon a nice three-piece classic dark suit would be a nice addition in any man’s closet. By that I mean having the vest made of the same material as the suit itself, as opposed to having it the same colour as the tie. Since he’s already having a silver vest & tie set for the evening, it wouldn’t make sense for him to have the same set for the morning (how many vest sets does a man need anyway? Not like handbags). Better to simply get a three-piece suit and a champagne tie for the morning. A three-piece suit he might find some wear for, in a non-bridegroom capacity. Sort of like this:

A three piece suit in grey looks really smart too:

There you go; suitably formal enough (as opposed to just having a suit & tie without a vest) for a wedding, and yet versatile enough for other occasions.

And here’s a look at the lovely silver set for the evening:

I just LOVE the deep red rose against the dark suit, and the luxe silver tie & vest! Suitably somber & formal, yet bridegroomey with the deep red rose.

And here are some other potentials:

And then there’s this MARVELLOUS link to Geoff White Photographers with some amazing pictures of groom’s attire. I love almost every single one of them especially the ones with a spot of colour! (Which I know Mr. Panda would never ever go for, being the conservative mammal that he is.) Click on the link for more inspiration!

So I think our eventual decision taking into account factors such as (a) cost; (b) versatility; (c) sartorial etiquette; (d) Mr. Panda’s preferences; (e) Mr. Panda’s circumference; (f) the colour scheme of the events & the bridal party, would be to have the following:

1. One beautifully cut three-piece suit in black (to be worn in the morning, with a champagne silk tie, matching pocket square & gorgeous bout!)

2. Two white shirts with french cuffs (one for the morning which I fully believe will be drenched in Panda-sweat by the end of the morning shindig. The other one for the evening reception. French cuffs to accomodate the cufflinks I’ll be giving him as a surprise wedding gift in the morning).

3. One silver vest & tie set.

I don’t know if plans will change after this. So far we’ve managed not to stick to the plan in a variety of decisions. But I do know he’ll be an adorable-looking Panda in his custom-build made suit whatever happens. Made-to-measure…*sigh* Pricey, much? But then again, there’s no charge for awesomeness.

…On her recent marriage to her dear Dan-Dan (Sashi)!

All her planning leading up to her dream day is on her blog. She’s practically a sister to me; I’ve known her since she was 14, she’s my niece’s Godmother, one of my bridesmaids & a real darling of a person. It was with a pang in my heart, a prayer of blessing on my lips, and a tear in my eye that I witnessed her journey to becoming a ‘Mrs.’ Sashi is a lucky man to have Babyduck as his wife. Wishing them many happy years together & a gorgeous marriage that is as beautiful as the sunset in our beloved Kota Kinabalu.

Here are some pictures I pinched from various friends on Facebook. Babyduck is Chinese & Sashi is Indian, so she had a mix of cultures in the multiple events that form her wedding. Enjoy!

Stunning in one of her many saris for the Penang wedding.

She grew her hair overnight apparently. Along with a few strands of jasmine!

My girl, as a garden.

With the lucky groom.

I’ve NEVER seen her look more exotic!

Sealed the deal there! Equivalent of stamping a legal document. “My. Wife.”

This turquoise sari is my FAVOURITE! LOVE it!

Gorgeous solemnisation!

Looking stunning in a TTDF embroidered lace wedding gown in Kota Kinabalu for the Chinese leg of the wedding! It’s the most beautiful wedding gown I’ve seen to date; pictures do not do it justice! I WANT!!!!!

Stunning in a turquoise evening gown next to her groom and with their good friend, Jess.

I can’t wait for the professional pictures to come out! They’re away on their honeymoon now. Wishing them all the best of God’s blessings, and all the love in the world!!!

*HUGZZZZ*

I called around the Tiffany & Co. branches looking for an available US Size 13 Bezet band in yellow gold, and was told there are “only a few in the world; one being in London & the other one in New York.” Phwoaarr. That would make his wedding band rarer than mine. And all because nobody has fingers that big & the Bezet is a new style. We were advised to present ourselves at the nearest Tiffany & Co. branch to place an order in case the rings disappear from London or New York and another man (or, God-forbid, WOMAN) with bratwurst-fingers walks off with Mr. Panda’s ring!

After work, and fortified with my newly-acquired ’kiasuism’ mindset courtesy of my adopted country, we practically flew into Tiffany & Co. at Raffles Hotel to place our order. While there, the nice sales-assistant managed to find a few US Size 13 rings for Mr. Panda to try on for size. They weren’t the Bezet, but something funny happened when he tried on the rings:

(a) We found out that he was really a 12 and a half, not a 13;

(b) We found out that the Bezet, beautiful though it is on my finger, was a tad too slim on his. Or, in his words, “Too sissy lah!” It’s only 2.6mm wide. Slim still looks best on his finger, but it was just a little TOO slim;

(c) We found out that the Bezet’s unique shape (perfectly rounded inside out like a Polo sweet…LOVE it!) makes it very difficult for it to be resized in case of weight gain or loss. And you know, Mr. Panda & I will always be on this journey.  

(d) Mr. Panda fell completely in love with the 3mm wide (“Perfect width!” cries Panda) Lucida band in yellow gold!

He loved it so much, he whipped out his credit card before asking for the price (which wasn’t bad at all, considering the recent spike in gold prices. Tiffany maintained it’s old price which made it cheaper in comparison to stores like Poh Heng, etc.) And they had his size. The last and ONLY piece, mind you.

And so, the tables were turned, because now the groom has found his ring & it’s sitting pretty in T & CO right now waiting to be engraved! My ring won’t be done till mid-December. I’ve asked for a matching yellow gold band in Bezet for our first anniversary because I forsee I’d be wearing that most of the time when the babies come.

Our next challenge: To figure out what the inscription for our rings would be, and then to work on our vows! Yay!

 We just spent a long weekend lazing about watching movie after movie. In between those islands of peace, I’ve had the occasional breakdown (two to be exact) thanks to my propensity to having panic attacks & my mother’s propensity to leaving everything to the last minute. Mr. Panda’s incurable, persistent ‘bochap-ness’ doesn’t help Bridezilla’s mental stability.

Guy only has ONE thing to manage which is to order & pay for his wedding band. Thanks to his giant finger size, he couldn’t get a wedding ring off the rack. We hounded about six different stores, and my giant furry friend whinged the entire time. (I’m rethinking the family plan. Who needs more kids when I’m already married to an oversized one?) The general reaction from the sales-people: “Hah! So big ah?! Where got ring so big one??” My general reaction to that general reaction is to snap ”Use more gold lah!” while La Panda hangs his big head in shame and hides the offending finger in his pocket.

Now Mr. Panda has his heart set on the Tiffany & Co. bezet band in yellow gold. The biggest size they go up to is US 13 which would be about Size 28 (Singapore). He is convinced he needs a Size 30 (Singapore) because he’s not used to wearing rings and wants maximum comfort (I suspect, the comfort that comes from having a too-loose ring slip off & disappear into the great wide unknown. Or so he thinks. He doesn’t know it yet but if he loses his ring, he’s going to have to get one tattooed onto his finger ) Now a size 30 Singapore would be about a US size 15. Wonderful. That means he can share it with the dog the next time she loses her collar.

To complicate matters, the Bezet is only 2.6 mm wide. That’s a ‘girl’ width. But he fancies it. So we’re talking about a really thin-looking ring with a really wide circumference. I must admit it looks really elegant on. But with a ring so thin & stretched such a distance on a finger the size of a sausage (the German variety), we really are risking some pretty serious wear & tear. Breakage, weird dints & bends, scratches, you name it. It still looks better than it would’ve had it been a thick, fat, wide band though. Those would make him look like ’Ah Long’  loan shark from Chinatown, especially if he decides to throw in a gold chain and grow his pinky fingernail.  *takes a moment to fight nausea over thoughts of revolting overgrown pinky nail*

 But anyway back to the Bezet. It takes 8 weeks to order the Size 13 from the US. That’s two months. And that means we are in danger of not having a wedding ring for the groom, come D-Day. 

When I found out, my entire face must’ve turned various interesting shades of purple before I inched my way to a couch so I could do a classic Victorian faint.

My penitent prospective panda-groom has now been advised that if he doesn’t want a little temporary barb-wire ringlet on his finger on that day, we will have to hit a few more stores in order to find him a jeweler who can be bribed, persuaded or scared into custom-making a proper wedding band in time for the wedding. No luck so far, everyone says ‘Two months mee-nee-mum!”

WHAT are we going to do??!

My own custom-made band should be ready by mid-December. It’s a curved/notched band (made to sit flush against my vintage engagement ring) with diamonds going all around it, and millgrain edging for that antique look I fancy. I tried to talk the makers of my band, Fairy’s Inc, into customizing one for Mr. Panda but sadly they said no. ” Two months mee-nee-mum.” (Actually Sandra doesn’t talk like that; she’s quite a good speaker, I must admit. But I love the uniquely Singaporean tang in the ‘mee-nee-mum’.)

 So now my choices are:

1. Order the Tiffany band anyway & hope it arrives before D-Day;

2. Continue my search for a jeweler who can do up his ring in 4 weeks instead of 8;

3. Put Mr. Panda’s finger on a diet;

4. Look in the tool-box for any nut or bolt that would fit his finger, at least as a stop-gap measure till his real ring gets here;

5. Modify the ring ceremony by tying a slim gold ribbon on his finger in lieu of the actual ring. And he can do the same for me! We’ll have the rings blest together later on and exchange them after the wedding. A bit of imperfection in the ceremony should add some charm & interest!

But what about my beautiful birds’ nest ring pillow I so painstakingly DIYed?? Haizzz.  

The moral of the story is this: Never send a man to do a Bridezilla-worthy job.

1. Thou shalt not take thy wife for granted, but will honour and respect her as they equal. (1 Peter 3:7)

2. Thy highest allegiance, except to God, shall be to thy wife, not thy relatives or friends. Or thy computer game, food or toys. (Genesis 2:24)

3. Thou shalt frequently tell thy wife how important & valuable she is to thee. (Philippians 2:3; Proverbs 31:10-11)

4. Thou shalt hold thy wife’s love by the same means that thou won it. (Song of Songs, 5:10-16).  [Bridezilla translation: Keep doing what you did when you were courting her!]

5. Thou shalt actively establish family discipline with thy wife’s help. (Ephesians 6:4).

6. Remember to do all the little things for thy wife when you say you will. (Matthew 5:37) 

7. Keep thine eyes on thy own wife, not thy neighbour’s wife. (Proverbs 5:15-20; Job 31:1; Jeremiah 5:8)

8. Thou shalt make every effort to see things from thy wife’s point of view. (Genesis 21:12)

9. Thou shalt not fail to kiss thy wife every morning but not with thy morning breath. (Song of Songs 8:1)

10. Thou shalt not be stingy with thy wife when it comes to money. (Esther 5:3) [Bridezilla aside: This should be Commandment No. 1 lah!]

See? I told ya they teach good stuff at PMC!

Ah, but since moving to Singapore, I can leave NOTHING to chance, because it’s simply un-Singaporean to do so! Everything must be planned to perfection, from the most momentous decisions concerning national debt and security to the littlest detail about how far the sidewalk bush should extend from the centreline on the highway island. And in like spirit, I shall now begin my baby planning, bearing in mind several assumptions:

1. That I am able to conceive, nurture & bring to term a healthy baby;

2. That Mr. Panda is able to aid me successfully in my procreational venture;

3. That we have enough money in the bank to support another big mouth to feed; and

4. That the baby arrives with a nanny attached, batteries optional.

With those assumptions in place, timing is my next concern!

The wedding will be in January 2010, two weeks before Chinese New Year, which means it would be still within the Year of Buttercup! (Cow, if you want to be technical.) Now that’s an excellent state of affairs, because I can’t say I’m too fond of doing anything in the Year of the Tiger. No offence to Tigers everywhere, but I’ve always found them a bit high-strung, aggressive and stubborn. And I have heard that having weddings in the year of the Tiger isn’t quite the thing to do.

Now don’t kill me about being a Christian and still getting caught up in the Chinese zodiac hype! I really shouldn’t, but still… Had an ex who was a Tiger and that relationship wasn’t a good experience overall. Conflict, conflict and still more conflict. It’s enough to make a saint superstitious.

Suffice to say, if I can’t have the wedding in the Year of the Tiger, then no bambinos also. Not sure a little Tigger will fit in the Panda Den. Superstitions aside, do I really want to have a baby in the same year I marry? Can you imagine all the ‘pat poh’ aunties counting backwards when I start showing a bump? (Which, in my case, would be within the first trimester! Sigh. Genes.)

So I figure, to avoid having a baby Tigger born within the same year we marry, the best thing is to aim for a baby Wabbit sometime in 2011! (After the Chinese New Year, which should be anywhere between January to March; any time before Chinese New Year would still be the year of the Tiger).

Baby Bunny has to come bouncing out earliest by March to avoid accidentally turning into a little Tiger, which means that the rubber sock can come off by July 2010. When I told Dad that we’d be trying for a baby from July 2010 onwards, he perked up and asked “Does that mean you two will be celibate until then?”

Err. Sure. Dad.

And the Tooth Fairy will come and give me a gold piece for being such a good little princess, and Mr. Panda will lose 80 pounds overnight and turn into Colin Farrell, and maybe the stork might bring us triplets.

Now, it’s imperative that I have this baby EARLY in 2011 because I definitely want another one latest by the end of 2012! Why? Because that would be the year of the Dragon! My Mom’s a dragon and she has so much personality I figure it would be fun to have another one in the house! :-D So between the first baby and second one, I’d like to have at least a nine month break to replenish lost nutrients, literally transfuse myself with D.O.M. or some other kind of medicinal alcohol, indulge in bird’s nest & spa my body back into baby-making shape. (First rule of marriage; be kind to your partner and keep yourself looking good.)

By the time I’m done with the baby bunny and dragonette, I reckon I’d be done with baby-making for a while (at least for the purpose of procreation :-) ). Because it would be time to raise them toddlers, get some kind of figure back, etc. Unless of course, both are boys, in which case the search for a baby-girl continues until we get one! But if we get lucky and get a daughter by the first or second try, I figure we can wait another four years before we try again. I’d love to have a little Monkey.

Oh, why? Well, you know, the usual reasons. My sister is a Monkey, and she’s such a smart and funny girl, it would be fab to have one just like her in the house.

Bear in mind, this is applicable for Singapore only, with possible slight variations in other Asian countries. Someone should do one up for Malaysia!

Your clothes should fit perfectly. Garments that are too tight will reveal all the lumps and bumps you’d rather not draw attention to. On the other hand, while very loose clothing will hide your problem areas, it will also make you look larger than you actually are. Take care when shopping to choose pieces that skim over your body and smooth out its surface.

Don’t wear tops with sloped shoulders

Avoid tops with naturally sloped shoulders as these tend to draw the eye down to your midsection. Instead, check to make sure that all your tops have slightly squared shoulders as these will concentrate others’ attention on your body to your chest and face.

Don’t wear bold patterns

Avoid loud or bold patterns as they will make you stand out in addition to drawing attention to the upper half of your body. One pattern you should wear, however, is vertical lines; they create optical continuity and will help elongate the look of your body. Dark, solid colors are also your new best friend as they are an instant figure fixer and will make you seem 10 pounds thinner.

Wear low-rise bottoms

Instead of wearing trousers and jeans that hit at your waist, invest in low-rise bottoms that sit on your hips. Low-rise trousers have a shorter distance between the top of the waistband and the crotch of your pants than regular trousers. Also, ensure that the waistband of your pants is large enough to accommodate your midsection so that your belly does not stick out over your pants. A stomach that protrudes over your pants lengthens your torso and shortens your legs — not exactly the most attractive combination. Rotund individuals should also avoid pants with pleats as they will make your pelvic area look bigger.

Empty your pockets

Don’t carry around excess baggage. Emptying your pockets of unnecessary items like bulky cell phones, overstuffed wallets and electronic devices will take the focus off a large midsection. On your pants, have any bulky side pockets sewn shut or removed by a good tailor. Doing so won’t cost much and it will make your hips appear smaller.

Wear V-neck shirts

V-necks are a great way to create the illusion of a slimmer neckline, particularly if you have a double chin, as they place emphasis on your chest area instead of on your neck. When it comes to dress shirts, choose ones with very pointed collars to focus others’ attention on your face. Avoid turtlenecks completely as they will make your neck disappear, meaning that you’ll look shorter and, therefore, bigger.

Wear three-button blazers

Avoid one- and two-button blazers. Instead, go for blazers with three buttons. They are just as classic as two-button blazers, but they will elongate your body and make you appear taller and, therefore, thinner. As well, always leave the top button on your blazer undone as it will stop your clothes from pulling, particularly in the area around your middle, and consequently, your movement will seem less restricted.

Stand up straight

It’s a tried-and-true tip: Work on your posture. Standing up as straight as possible will make you look like you just dropped 10 to 15 pounds and will also make you feel and act more confident — a trait that most people find quite attractive. To appear even slimmer, buy shoes with a small heel of about half an inch to one inch.

Avoid bulky blazers

Avoiding bulky fabrics means that chunky wool sweaters are a big no-no. To stay warm in the winter, go crazy for cashmere as it provides warmth without adding bulk to your figure. Or, try a dress shirt and V-neck sweater vest combination as the sweater vest will keep you warm while also smoothing out your midsection and love handles. For suits, choose softer wools so that the fabric is as thin as possible. Invest in high-quality, lightweight wool suits if you can afford them as these will be the most flattering suits for your body and you’ll feel and look like a million bucks when you put them on.

Wear pants with a longer hem

Wear your pants long to seem taller and thinner. They should hit almost at the ground to really lengthen your body. If you’re wearing shoes with a heel, the bottom of your pants should hit about a quarter to a half inch above the heel, no more.

Reproduced from Askmen.com

Gotta love Sabah! Although this is the least lovely beach in Sabah just because the sand isn’t snowy white & powder fine. I think it’s because it’s closest to town.

Check out the waves against the sand…

I just wish Mr. Panda wasn’t frowning so hard in the picture though. You’d think he’d be smiling so hard his head would fall off at the thought of marrying me. *mutter* Instead of that tortured expression. I wonder if they can photoshop that furrow away. I threatened to Botox the heck out of him the week before our wedding day just to get rid of the furrow.

When a man of God says it like that, you know it’s something special! *lol*

The thing is, I couldn’t take proper pictures of it though, because the light cream paper is shimmery, which means it reflects light everytime I do it with flash. I haven’t had a free weekend to take pictures of them during the daylight hours (and I get home from work pretty late, which means dark, which means flash, etc.) So you’ll have to see them here on Viv’s website.

The thing with shimmer paper is pictures will never really do it justice. In reality, the card is a soft creamy shimmery paper backed with a sweet lavender/lilac shimmer card underneath. The colour of the motif and words is a cross between a pale violet and periwinkle blue. Mr. Panda LOVES these invitations; I suspect they’re his favourite of the lot!

They should match our ROM theme also, since I’ll be having yam/lavender roses accented with lilacs and ivory eustomas. I’m so excited about marrying my love amidst such prettiness! Yay!

Beyond that, I’m a pretty steady networker with most of the networking activities being done online via Facebook, Twitter, etc. The World Wide Web is my absolute favourite resource for entertainment, music, information (Wikipedia rocks!), keeping up with long-lost compadres of yesteryear, looking up good takeout places around my condo, etc.

 Since I’ve started this blog, only a handful of my real-life friends know about this, as I wanted to keep the wedding a secret until perhaps two months before. Right about now.  Planning to announce my impending marriage by the end of the month at which point this blog is gonna go public!

 Now keeping a blog is heaps of fun…sometimes too much fun! J But, it doesn’t really help me keep organized when it comes to tracking invitations, managing guest-lists etc. How would guests across half a dozen countries in the world get the information they need to fly down to Sabah for the wedding? How would they RSVP? How do I get all of their mailing addresses when all I have (for most of them) is just their email contact? How do I upload pictures and video files so that loved ones from far away can still be part of our special day?

 So I decided that in the age of technology, a wedding website is the way to go!

 I did a little research and found two brilliant sites: one is www.weddingwindow.com and the other is www.theknot.com and they BOTH rock!

 www.theknot.com actually provides a free website which tracks your guest list as you input the information, and even tells you how many invitations you need at the end of the day (because some guests bring their spouse, others get invited as a family, etc.), and it tells you how many actual people would be there too! That way you can manage the number of invitations you need more accurately, and you can manage the number of pax for food, seating etc. Beyond that, the site is packed with useful wedding-related information and inspiring ideas, pictures of real weddings, anything and everything a Bridezilla worth her stripes would die over!

 I started with www.theknot.com but ended up purchasing a package at www.weddingwindow.com because it had some of the features I really liked. So it’s really a matter of choice. Learning how to navigate and build your website will take a few trial & errors but once you get the hang of it, easy-peasy!

With www.weddingwindow.com I get a choice of having everything on my website reduced into a CD at the end of my subscription (you get anything from 3 months till kingdom come). As a keepsake, you know? I also elected to purchase our own domain name for a small fee. Something easy to remember. I’d recommend this option, for sure.

Here’s a Bridezilla tip for ya: If you’re getting many tech-savvy guests from overseas, a wedding website is really the way to go, because it will save you the hassle of getting everybody’s addresses, etc. Both sites mentioned also allow you to customize a ‘Save The Date’ which has your website address on it so that people can go online and check out all sorts of useful information about the wedding. BUT…don’t expect the oldies to get down with this website thang. You should emphasise that you are not going to skip the formal invitation rite; this is really something extra that some guests may appreciate, especially if they’ve never been to the place where the wedding would take place.

You could also choose to go one step further and use www.evite.com to get some sort of confirmed numbers first before following up with invitations. I love that they have a ‘respond’ function so you’ll know! ‘Save The Dates’ only go so far as to inform someone you’re getting married, but it doesn’t make them respond as to whether they’ll be making the perilous journey to the end of the world to share in your matrimonial celebrations!

 If you want the best of both worlds, you’ll do what I’m going to, and link your website to your evite!

 Bridezilla suggests this order:

 Step One:

Send electronic ‘Save the Dates’ as early as you can so that guests from overseas can make travel arrangements. Your ‘Save the Dates’ should have your wedding website address on it so that they can get information on accommodation, flights, etc. and plan their trip.

Step Two:

About six to eight weeks before the wedding, send your evite with the response option. Your wedding website address should be in the evite as well. And this evite function will handle all the reminders for you. J

Step Three:

Four to six weeks before the wedding, send your formal invitations. By now you’d have had some responses on evite and can figure out how many formal invitations you’ll actually need. Seating charts, food preparation etc would be a cinch also. All your invitations should have an electronic RSVP option with your wedding website address on it as well.

Picking the design for the website was super-easy because all the templates were nice. I just picked the colours from our theme and that was that!

So without further ado…here it is: Bridezilla’s wedding website!

  http://nigelandjosephine.com

Now wasn’t that easy?

Check out their cute & quirky blog that’s reminiscent of all those foreign-made wedding blogs I lurrrrve, but with a distinct local flavour!

By Hondo at Glamour Studio. Make up & hair by Angie Yee, same place. Dress, JCrew ‘Goddess.’ Veil, belonged to Abby’s Mummy. Pearls set, present from Mom some years back. Groom, all mine.

*ecstatic*

2. If you absolutely, positively, DIE-DIE MUST wear a wrap dress on said windy day, make sure you have a strategically placed pin on the inside fold of the skirt so that accidental flashing can be avoided.

3. If you are pin-challenged (like I am), and you absolutely, positively DIE-DIE MUST wear a wrap dress on said windy day, then make sure your hands are not occupied carting bags of wedding invitations, rendering you helpless and unable to grab your skirt when it catches in the wind.

4. If you are an infantile risk-taker or you’re just feeling lucky, plucky & sucky and absolutely, positively DIE-DIE MUST wear your favourite wrap dress on said windy day, and would like to try that trick without a safety pin or free hands while crossing a busy street in front of the MRT in the middle of Shenton Way at PEAK hour, then you’d better be wearing really good underwear. Instead of regulation cottons whose only saving grace is being BLACK!

5. Better yet, you better hope the skirt is long enough to cover your face when it flies up. Because by now, I can safely say that my notoriety in the Lion City is hard-won and comes at tremendous cost. *sigh* And if I ever have to go for a job interview around Shenton Way, I can probably mention this incident as a mental reference. (“Yah, remember? Shenton Way? Windy day? Black undies?”)

I’m lucky I already have a fiance. Because after yesterday, I really jatuh saham sudah (“share price drop”).

And of all the tips this Bridezilla has generously shared with y’all thus far, you should circle this in RED!!

Unless you really do want the world to be your gynecologist of course. In which case you’re on the wrong blog.